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slapped on the fingers... :-/

(71 Posts)
Krooski Fri 03-Jun-16 10:24:28

I'm a bit unsure what to think of this. I -and another person- got a ridefrom someone to and from a group that all three of us are involved in - this happens twice a month.
We've only known each other for a few months, through the group, so we don't know each other that well. Usually it's all good during the drive and we chat in the car, but the last time the driver seemed very grumpy. She was much quieter than usual and reacted a little irritated if I said smth. I didn't think much of it because I know she has health issues and had been very busy lately, so I reckoned she was just tired or not feeling well.

After our meeting we got back into the car. While we were still in the parking place I was sitting next to the (still grumpy) driver holding and I was holding the handle above the door - I didn't do this consciously, I guess it was just comfortable.
Anyway, as the driver started the car she snapped at me to remove my hand because she couldn't see, and before I could do as she asked she slapped me on my hand and fingers. Only a small slap, and it didn't hurt, but I must admit I was a little shocked.
The rest of the drive she was mostly quiet, and when I said or asked something she reacted very annoyed and irritated. I still think it was down to her not feeling well, but I'm quite bothered by the slap on the fingers. I don't think anyway over the age of six has slapped me in the last thirty-odd years, and like I said, this woman and I don't know each other very well.

I suppose I'll just pretend it didn't happen. What would you think or feel if someone you don't know very well slaps you on the fingers?

NeverbuytheDailyMail Fri 03-Jun-16 10:29:25

I'd organise a different method of transport and if she asks why, be honest and let her know that it's not appropriate to hit another human being to get them to do something.

pinkyredrose Fri 03-Jun-16 10:29:33

I'd be pissed off. Maybe she doesn't want to give lifts anymore, has anyone ever made her late? I'd gone another way to get the.

BillSykesDog Fri 03-Jun-16 10:32:25

I think you're massively over reacting. It didn't hurt, so it wasn't a 'slap', it was a tap, she tapped your hand away from somewhere it was interfering with your vision.

OohMavis Fri 03-Jun-16 10:33:19

Maybe she's unhappy with giving you lot lifts. After that I'd be distancing myself for sure...

NaffOffMartha Fri 03-Jun-16 10:33:41

This is probably irrelevant but I'm having trouble picturing it - you were holding the handle above the passenger door and she was in the driver's seat? And reached up and over and slapped your hand?

Feeling a bit stupid here! blush

HelloHola Fri 03-Jun-16 10:34:25

If you're interested in continuing the friendship, I would maybe ask her if everything is alright and let her know that although she might be going through a hard time, she can't be so nasty towards you.

If you're not bothered, then I would maybe arrange alternative arrangements.

Robbo78 Fri 03-Jun-16 10:35:19

Time to find a different mode of transport...i would have said ' that was a joke right?'

OohMavis Fri 03-Jun-16 10:36:05

Same occurred to me Martha confused

Did she reach across you to slap your hand?

honeysucklejasmine Fri 03-Jun-16 10:36:16

Sounds like she doesn't like giving lifts and it's affecting her mood. Does she have to go out of her way? Are you and the other person paying petrol?

FeckinCrutches Fri 03-Jun-16 10:38:38

I was just thinking the same, how did she manage to reach that far whilst she was in her seat?

kitkat1968 Fri 03-Jun-16 10:39:04

Are you contributing to fuel costs?

EvansOvalPies Fri 03-Jun-16 10:41:30

I'm unsure of the semantics - do you all take turns with the driving, or is the tap-on-the-fingers lady the only one who does the driving and do you all contribute to petrol? Maybe she's feeling put-upon and doesn't quite know how to address it? Do you all chat to each other in a friendly way, or do you just see her as a taxi driver, and possibly don't speak to her much at all.

user7755 Fri 03-Jun-16 10:41:44

Has anyone offered petrol money or do you share lifts?

I'm also another one who is slightly confused about how long it took you to let go of the handle if she had time to lean across from the drivers side to tap your hand. Which obviously she shouldn't have done but if she couldn't see and you didn't move your hand straight away it could have been really dangerous - that said I probably would have shouted in a panic rather than lean across and smack you.

Anyway, sounds like you need to find another method of transport.

NeverbuytheDailyMail Fri 03-Jun-16 10:43:22

Bill Op didn't punch her in the face and roar WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!! THAT would have been an over reaction. From what I can gather she just got out the car and said nothing and is now wondering if it was a bit weird. Not really an over reaction, and actually - yeah it is a bit weird for an adult to admonish another adult by tapping, slapping, poking or any other physical conduct. It's just weird!

Arfarfanarf Fri 03-Jun-16 10:43:52

Is she always the driver or do you all take turns?

Maybe she wants to end the arrangement but is being cowardly and just resenting it instead of actually communicating?

Ask her if she's happy with the arrangement and tell her you completely understand if it's too much for her and she wants to end it.

Or just make alternative arrangements.

Hoppinggreen Fri 03-Jun-16 10:49:35

Maybe it was unconscious?
Someone was giving me a lot once and he was biting his nails so I Slapped his hand away from his face - I was pretty embarrassed but he took it well

VioletBam Fri 03-Jun-16 10:50:19

Krooski it sounds as though for some reason, she couldn't contain her irritation or anger at something...but what?

Does one of you smell? Has nobody offered petrol money? Are you all rude or talking too loudly? Making her late??

mum11970 Fri 03-Jun-16 10:59:03

I'm trying to picture how she managed to smack your left hand from the driver's seat.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Fri 03-Jun-16 11:05:11

Maybe she has misophonia. I can't have my sister in the passenger seat when I'm driving as she constantly wrings her hands and it gives me the rage.

HairySubject Fri 03-Jun-16 11:14:11

was she driving at the time? That sounds pretty dangerous to reach over you enough to slap your hand away.

Krooski Fri 03-Jun-16 11:18:50

Quote:"This is probably irrelevant but I'm having trouble picturing it - you were holding the handle above the passenger door and she was in the driver's seat? And reached up and over and slapped your hand?"

Yes, she reached up and over to slap me on the hand.

Scarydinosaurs Fri 03-Jun-16 11:24:55

She must have well long arms and a well small car.

Get a different lift/book a taxi. This isn't working.

Milzilla Fri 03-Jun-16 11:25:56

So what about the petrol contributions etc OP.

Still doesn't excuse her tapping/slapping (whatever) your hand. I'd go with previous pp suggestion and make your own way there and tell her why.

HowBadIsThisPlease Fri 03-Jun-16 11:27:36

I would find that humiliating and it would stay with me. she doesn't like having you around. find another way of getting there.

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