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To dread the future?

(13 Posts)
Feetofleather Thu 02-Jun-16 23:33:00

I have three boys very close together in age. One has autism, mild-moderate, one may have aspergers type autism and is mid assessment. They are a handful, I'm knackered a lot if the time and I can't say that their behaviour is brilliant. I have to tell them three or four times to do things, they test boundaries a lot, and are starting to plot against me too, the little monkeys. But as it stands, I'm the Boss and they accept that.

How ever, the thought of puberty and teenage years makes my stomach flip! Give it to me straight, am I in for the ninth level of hell?

timelytess Thu 02-Jun-16 23:36:29

Erm... don't know. Outside my experience. But I wish you well. And suggest you 'live in the moment'. It will help.

Feetofleather Thu 02-Jun-16 23:37:57

That's good advice. They're little for such a short time and I love them beyond all things, so I try and appreciate them before it goes tits up!

fatowl Fri 03-Jun-16 00:13:51

I have girls, but DD2 was very difficult from about 12 months until secondary age. All through the toddler, pre-school and primary years.
SHe was never diagnosed - but we had her assessed for all sorts- ADHD, autism, aspergers (we still think mild aspergers)

She turned a corner at 11 when she went to secondary and it all got much much easier. She's 17 now, and a perfectly functioning young adult. (Doing A-levels, learning to drive, part time job etc). Can't put my finger on what changed apart from going to secondary school, but don't assume it will get worse.

Feetofleather Fri 03-Jun-16 09:01:16

Wow that's really encouraging! Thankyou!

Teens scare me, they're under so much more pressure than we were.

CaptainCrunch Fri 03-Jun-16 09:48:58

Don't project. I've worked with SEN children for nearly 10 years and they never cease to amaze me with their achievements in later life.

Stanky Fri 03-Jun-16 10:05:23

That's nice and encouraging to hear. My ds has SEN as well. All the best for the future.

Onlyicanclean10 Fri 03-Jun-16 10:11:08

It sounds like a lot for you to deal with op.

In my experience most teenagers are fine and there's a lot of bollocks spouted about them.

All mine and all their huge circle of mates were great.

Personally I think teenagers today are far more mature than me and my friends were in the 70s/80s.

Keep your chin up op.

x2boys Fri 03-Jun-16 10:13:46

My sons school mottois beleive and acheive he attendsa special school for children with complex learning disabilities and or autism he has many difficulties but i hang on to that motto because with the right support he will acheive .

VioletBam Fri 03-Jun-16 10:15:28

OP I am the same as FatOwl had a DD who the school wanted to assess...all sorts of Aspergers traits....but we moved due to work before that school didn't have any interest in helping us get her tested so it went by the wayside.

She also suddenly turned a corner at 11.....and now is the most N.T kid you've ever seen.

She used to stim and beep and buzz....and she had selective mutism....she was sensitive to sounds....

Feetofleather Fri 03-Jun-16 12:25:41

Wow that's amazing!

listencarefullytome Fri 03-Jun-16 13:17:11

DS is 18 and has ASD and his teen years were very difficult - he was excluded from school numerous times (since his primary years so before he even hit puberty) and then developed MH problems, leading to self harm and several serious suicide attempts and needing hospitalisation. He was an only child and it took all our energy to keep up with his behaviour, police involvement, SS and CAMHS. I can't imagine what it would have been like with three.

DS was a very severe case though and that meant he got support from EHCP and DLA with no problems. That has helped a bit as he's in a specialist setting now and gets one to one support, I just have to ask our council for help and funding isn't an issue any more. So it can be very hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Feetofleather Fri 03-Jun-16 14:45:13

God that sounds very tough Listencarefullytome. How old was he when the big problems started? DS 1 is mainstream, gets DLA and we anticipate an EHCP.

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