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To think DH might WANT to chat to me?

(29 Posts)
user1464861179 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:34:50

I'm at work until 8pm and it's a slow day. I knew he'd finished at 5.20 so I called him at 6.20 for a quick chat. He huffed and puffed when he answered the phone and so I said "sorry, I thought you might have wanted to talk to me!" And he replied "I might have done if I wasn't busy, I've just sat down".
How was I supposed to know that? I'd never answer the phone in a strop to him like that and to be honest he's normally sat playing in the computer when he gets in from work!
On top of this he had the cheek to say he'd been tidying up lots of pots which were just left in the kitchen. I've made dinner for everyone everyday before work this week making sure everyone had a decent meal for when they got in and also meaning he doesn't need to do anything when he gets in other than warm up what I've prepared!! So last night he ate what I'd prepared earlier and left the kitchen in a shit hole ready for me to sort out this morning - you know - right before I get on to making TONIGHTS tea for him!!! We both work full time btw

ilovesooty Thu 02-Jun-16 18:39:58

I don't think I'd be using work time to phone someone up for a chat.

user1464861179 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:41:13

We all do it, I'm literally sat in an office 'on call' with nothing to do

branofthemist Thu 02-Jun-16 18:42:23

It sounds like he is knackered. You probably are too.

I always get annoyed when someone calls me when I have just sat down. Sometimes you just want 5 minutes

But my response over the kitchen would be 'like you did yesterday?, I just thought we didn't mind helping each other out.'

Paulat2112 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:46:02

Let him make his own dinner tomorrow. You dont want him spending his time tidying up your pots now!

WorraLiberty Thu 02-Jun-16 18:48:54

I don't get why you're making tonight's tea if he's finished at 5.20 and you're working until 8pm. Or did I misunderstand that bit?

BillyBlueCack Thu 02-Jun-16 18:49:15

I'd hate it if my DP called me an hour after I got in. I've got a million things to do not to do. Even if I have 'just sat down'.

Once I'm sat down after a busy day the last thing I want to do is chat on the phone. My head is on a buzz down, trying to slow after a hectic day of thinking and acting accordingly at work. I crave solitude and silence for a bit.

You were just bored which I totally understand. But your brains were in two totally different places.

YABU though.

BillyBlueCack Thu 02-Jun-16 18:51:33

But yeah, weire about the dinner thing? If he gets in at 5.30, he puts the dinner on.

Or do you use the slow cooker? Which makes sense actually.

LuluJakey1 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:53:08

YANBU but if your DH is anything like mine, he is so up his own arse at the minute I am not surprised he didn't want to chat to you. You have forgotten the world exists to make life easier for him.

BackforGood Thu 02-Jun-16 18:55:13

Well I wouldn't want my dh calling me when I'd got in, after a day at work, no. However, the whole stuff about the dinner cooking / kitchen cleaning is another question altogether.

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 02-Jun-16 18:55:29

Maybe he didn't see the point in you ringing him just to talk on the phone when you'll be home in a couple of hours?

Hodooooooooor Thu 02-Jun-16 18:58:46

I always get annoyed when someone calls me when I have just sat down. Sometimes you just want 5 minutes

Then don't answer the phone! It's not obligatory. If you want to talk to them, answer, if you don't, don't answer.
Answering the phone and giving out to the caller for daring to ring you is just twatty.

myownprivateidaho Thu 02-Jun-16 19:00:18

Yanbu, I always phone my dp for a little chat on my way home from work! If he was busy he could have just said it nicely.

Valentine2 Thu 02-Jun-16 19:01:39

You cook for him and he hasn't even got the decency to wash dishes? Kick him where it hurts as he is asking for it. I wouldn't cook anything for him simply. He either takes actual interest in his home or gets lost.

53rdAndBird Thu 02-Jun-16 19:02:24

So, you do the cooking and clean up the kitchen. What does he do?

Valentine2 Thu 02-Jun-16 19:02:58

Exactly. If he gets in first, why can't he make it at least half the week? Rather than playing games on computer.

TheWitchesofIzalith Thu 02-Jun-16 19:04:43

Well I agree, YOU didn't know he just wanted a bit of peace, and he didn't have to 'huff and puff' at you. But it's just one of those things, you were both in different places in your heads as someone else said, and both thinking of your own needs at that moment in time. Just bad timing, is all.. Having said that, he didn't have to moan about the dishes either. A 'thank you' for preparing a meal for him every day before you go to work wouldn't have gone amiss.

GarlicSteak Thu 02-Jun-16 19:20:32

On the rare occasions when I wonder if I ought to be wishing I weren't single, I think of threads like this wink

user1464861179 Thu 02-Jun-16 19:22:00

Yeah he gets in between 5/6 yet I prepare the meal before I go to work at 12 to make sure we are eating decent food as he "can't be arsed to cook after work". He does say he will do tea if I want him to but then we're all stuck eating frozen pizza and chips. If I'm spending hours cooking a proper meal surely he can do the kitchen? If I'm working 12- 8 my whole morning at home is spent cooking and cleaning! It's getting ridiculous

diddl Thu 02-Jun-16 19:24:05

If you haven't seen him for a while then I'd understand it.

You're bored, he's not!

No need for him to snap though & yes, he didn't have to answer!

53rdAndBird Thu 02-Jun-16 19:39:10

Well, he sounds just delightful.

Goingtobeawesome Thu 02-Jun-16 19:39:56

If it's getting ridiculous, change it. If you don't want to cook, don't. Let him live on pizza and chips. But he should do 50% of the household chores.

diddl Thu 02-Jun-16 20:13:23

So he cba to cook after work so therefore you must cook before!hmm

Does he even cook at the weekend?

Also, meals don't have to take ages!

Paulat2112 Fri 03-Jun-16 07:37:45

Dont cook for him any more!! Make yourself some food an portion it out and chuck I in the freezer. Then you will have something proper and he cant eat his frozen beige.

snapcrap Fri 03-Jun-16 07:48:43

Two separate issues:

Spouses are allowed to not want to chat to each other, for any reasons - if we're busy or stressed or just want some peace and quiet.

Cooking/meals - fuck that!! He needs to pull his finger out.

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