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Crimes Against Food (WIBU to LTB?)

(28 Posts)
BigDamnNCFail Thu 02-Jun-16 14:57:52

As I was tidying up after the kids last night DH asked what the plan was for dinner. I told him what I'd planned and was pleasantly surprised to find he went to sort it with only about 20 a couple of questions about ingredients etc. Gave me a chance to give the floor a proper clean (with two young children and four pets it gets disgusting pretty grubby).

This morning I treated myself to the extravagance of two a croissant for breakfast...only to find it tasted of garlic. confused I figured out it was the butter that had a garlicky flavour and can only assume DH used a knife to get the garlic out of the garlic press last night and then used the same knife for butter.

Then, later on, I got the cheese out to make the boys cheese on toast for lunch and was met with this ridiculous sight!

Should I LTB? Or can you MNers come up with some sort of cruel and unusual punishment?

BigDamnNCFail Thu 02-Jun-16 14:59:00

Oh dear God - I've just realised I didn't put 'lighthearted' anywhere in the title or OP! I'm going to run and hide!!

BigginsforPope Thu 02-Jun-16 15:02:15

What kind of monster would do that to an innocent block of cheese?

Actually teenage DD would . . .

hellsbellsmelons Thu 02-Jun-16 15:55:35

That cheese thing would drive me insane.
I don't even like it when it's been grated an angle and not put straight.
And I would LTB immediately!

Purplepicnic Thu 02-Jun-16 16:12:33

WTF? Did he bite it? Or break it off?

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Thu 02-Jun-16 16:21:52

Kill him.

MTPurse Thu 02-Jun-16 16:27:14

You think you have problems op? Dp went to buy coffee last week and came back with this!!!!

LadyPenelope68 Thu 02-Jun-16 16:28:55

You definitely need to LTB MTPurse! grin

That's not coffee, it's floor sweepings!!!

BigDamnNCFail Thu 02-Jun-16 17:54:12

My heart goes out to fellow MNers who also live with food and drink savages. sad

Picnic, grin I believe he broke off some to grate it because it's 'easier'. confused

MTPurse, I have never liked coffee but even I manage to buy better coffee than that! grin

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Thu 02-Jun-16 17:57:17

What sort of fucking caveman would break the cheese like that?!

shock

BillSykesDog Thu 02-Jun-16 17:58:15

Mmmmmm, garlicky croissants. New pregnancy craving ahoy.

Coconutty Thu 02-Jun-16 18:00:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flamingtoaster Thu 02-Jun-16 18:03:36

Without knowing what your DH likes and dislikes it's hard to suggest a suitable punishment. Marmite stirred through his granola/porridge, perhaps?

BigDamnNCFail Thu 02-Jun-16 18:05:56

Bill, garlicky croissants with jam are not nice. Luckily, I was eating them the way my mum taught me by breaking off bits and putting a little butter and jam on each piece so I was able to get new butter out and the whole thing wasn't ruined.

Now I think about it DH also used to nuke croissants in the microwave with butter on top and eat them like that. I've married a complete barbarian!

Coconutty, you what?? But what about when the next person to use the cheese tries to slice it or grate it in that state??

Onedaftmonkey Thu 02-Jun-16 18:16:49

My God do they still make that brand? Haven't seen it since uni days. Vile stuff.

BillSykesDog Thu 02-Jun-16 18:19:07

With jam you say? Mmmmm.

I think you need to carry on letting us know your DHs misadventures. They sound nice to a pregnant lady. Maybe you can send him round to mine to whip up some sort of cheese, garlic and Nutella baguette or some such?

Mslg Thu 02-Jun-16 18:21:58

Found this in my fridge once. No mistaking how that chunk made its way off the block.

I LTB.

Scribblegirl Thu 02-Jun-16 18:23:14

Ooh my best friend used to get The Rage when we lived together if I scraped the butter in anything other than a neat, smooth way. Chunks out would result in her freakishly lovingly evening it out with a knife. She'd have your DH under the patio by now OP wink

I know how you feel though. I cohabitat with a heathen who uses the same knife for multiple condiments. Talk to me when your toast butter has traces of horseradish in it angry

cherrytree63 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:24:23

My DP bought a big bag of garlic powder and decanted some into a small pepper pot but didn't bother telling me. I thought it was white pepper and sprinkled it all over my cheese on toast. Not impressed.

iklboo Thu 02-Jun-16 18:30:57

Mellow Birds & Camp! When I did Domestic Science at school old glimmer we had the opportunity to 'host' two of our favourite teachers to afternoon tea. Mellow Birds & Camp was the 'coffee' choice.

stegosauruslady Thu 02-Jun-16 18:32:30

My DP is a terrible food criminal. Left to his own devices he feeds the children things like 'sausage soup' which is a tin of tomato soup containing cut up hot dogs.

Once when we were camping, he boiled himself some noodles with a chunk of sweaty abandoned cheese from the car. He was in bed by 9pm after being heartily sick.

Nataleejah Thu 02-Jun-16 18:39:21

Went to a picnic once with a group of acquaintances. Everybody brought something to share. There was a dish which looked like pasta carbonara. I took a spoonful and literally puked there and then. It was PASTA with SUGAR and NUTS confused

BusyNothings Thu 02-Jun-16 18:40:30

The mixed up knife thing is a major crime in my house. Esp as I'm veggie and hubby isn't, took him a good while to be fully trained learn the importance lol.

But the cheese thing was my favourite thing to do when I lived at home. My mum is major ocd with things like that...

P1nkP0ppy Thu 02-Jun-16 18:47:08

I had a flat mate who ate sweet corn in raspberry jelly.....her explanation was the it was sweet corn 😳
DH has been known to cook an egg butty but he adds fried grated cheese and pickled onions envy

PreAdvent13610 Thu 02-Jun-16 18:52:09

I made a large shortbread heart for Valentines day. The previous day DH had made garlic bread with the DC. You know what it tasted of.sad

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