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To be furious that the kids were left alone?

(316 Posts)
Therearenonamesleft Thu 02-Jun-16 12:19:49

My OH got home late last night after drinks with friends. He got a taxi home and this am forgot that his car was still parked at the station. I leave for work earlyish in the morning and he is responsible for taking the kids to school / holiday club most mornings. Today he suddenly realised his car was at station after I'd left for work so he gave the kids breakfast (DS is 7.5 and Dd is 5) and told them to be sensible and not go upstairs or open the door etc and that he had to go and fetch the car. He claims he legged it all the way and was back home in 8minutes.
I feel furious and sick with worry and unease. AIBU? I think they're too young to be left alone even for this short amount of time. I shared my concerns and husband said he sees my point of view but disagrees as he thinks the risks are minuscule. I've asked him not to do it again - at least until DS is competent at making a call on the landline should some problem arise. They are both very sensible children and I often leave them playing upstairs etc while I'm in the garden etc but they are always close enough to call me. Should I take this any further? Is this a safeguarding issue I need to be worrying about? I don't want to over react but I feel uncomfortable about his inability to guarantee it won't happen again.
Thanks for reading all this! Any sensible advice welcome.

branofthemist Thu 02-Jun-16 12:23:50

I am sure your Dd is competent at making a phone call. Dd could make them from 4. I was very ill and we taught her then.

When I was pregnant with ds (Dd was just 6) she knew my mums telephone number and dhs off the top of her head.

So if your objection is the oldest can't use the phone, you need to teach him.

Personally I don't think this is that bad. To warrant feeling sick. I would totally understand if you just didn't like it and said you would prefer him not to do this. But I think you are over reacting.

Coconutty Thu 02-Jun-16 12:24:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sassypants82 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:25:04

I think that your DH was totally irresponsible to do that. They're way too young to be left alone. I'd make it crystal clear that it is never to happen again but otherwise put it behind you & not dwell on it, just be thankful nothing happened.

AndNowItsSeven Thu 02-Jun-16 12:25:22

Safeguarding issue with your own partner? You are overreacting , a seven year old should be able to use the phone.

TheUnsullied Thu 02-Jun-16 12:26:22

I'd be so angry about this that I'd actually have to take myself off somewhere to calm down before speaking to him about it. If it's so close, could they not have walked to the car together?? Or couldn't he have gotten it after they'd been dropped at holiday club?

Mycatsabastard Thu 02-Jun-16 12:28:13

Unless he's doing it all the time then it's not an issue. They are old enough (and sensible enough) to just sit and play without burning the house down or drinking bleach.

I don't think this is a 'safeguarding issue' although even if it was, what would you do? Report him to SS?

You are overreacting.

fluffiphlox Thu 02-Jun-16 12:28:13

A seven year old should know how to use the phone so that they can ring their gran or emergency services.

TimetohittheroadJack Thu 02-Jun-16 12:28:29

Hmm, I wouldn' t be delighted - could he not have waited until he took the kids to school, or did he need the car to take them to school?

VeganCanBeFabulous Thu 02-Jun-16 12:29:08

And what if he'd had a crash on his way back? The children would've been left alone in the house and nobody would have known they were there! Completely unacceptable in my eyes. I'd be fucking furious.

KC225 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:30:32

Agree with Bran. Not ideal, but what's done is done. Nothing to warrant feeling sick over. It was a one off. I'm sure your reaction will ensure he won't do it again. Take a deep breath, sit back and congratulate yourself on your nice sensible kids

sarahsnail Thu 02-Jun-16 12:31:05

Take it further?? Safeguarding Issue???

This is your OH, how would you be planning to take it further?

Yes he has been irresponsible, and thankfully nothing serious happened whilst the children were alone. But he is your partner and it is something you both need to discuss together.

PPie10 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:31:38

Given that on these type threads people always come on to say 10 mins to pop into the shops is fine to leave that aged kids alone. I think you are overreacting a bit and the 'safeguarding' is a bit ridiculous. He timed it and was 8 minutes.

branofthemist Thu 02-Jun-16 12:31:42

And what if he'd had a crash on his way back?

The kids would have been in the car crash as well. Don't see that, that's much better.

TimetohittheroadJack Thu 02-Jun-16 12:32:34

Vegan what if he had took them and and crashed the car with them in it? Would that not be worse?

gobbynorthernbird Thu 02-Jun-16 12:34:14

He's probably more likely to fall over and knock himself out putting his trousers on than have a crash. Massive overreaction.

Hodooooooooor Thu 02-Jun-16 12:36:44

Is this a safeguarding issue I need to be worrying about?

Oh for fucks sake, do people need to use these stupid buzzwords even with their own families? Do you want to "parent-shame" him too?

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 02-Jun-16 12:39:04

Why can't your seven year old make a phone call? I'd be more worried about that than him leaving them unsupervised to watch TV for less than 10 minutes!

fastdaytears Thu 02-Jun-16 12:40:08

Safeguarding issue? With your partner? Who do you want to report him to?

I don't think it's awful at all but that doesn't mean that you have to be ok with it. Just decide together what's ok and what's not.

Also a 7 year old who can't make a phone call is a bit confused. Definitely teach him that. What if his dad was home but got ill or something? I would expect much younger kids to be able to make a call. You could always programme in your emergency numbers to make it easier.

Redglitter Thu 02-Jun-16 12:42:29

As a matter of interest OP when you say should you take it any further what do you have in mind?

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 02-Jun-16 12:44:33

There is no word I hate more than safeguarding at the moment.

SisterViktorine Thu 02-Jun-16 12:45:17

Are they his kids too?

GabsAlot Thu 02-Jun-16 12:47:28

maybe teach your child how to call 999 in an amergency although i understand youre upset

why couldnt he have walked to the station with the kids?

Ragwort Thu 02-Jun-16 12:48:47

Total over reaction, do you seriously use that sort of terminology for a domestic matter? hmm

And surely at 7 and a half your DS should be more than capable of making a phone call on a landline? (most toddlers these days seem to know how to use an ipad, it's a strange world when a 7 year old can't use a landline).

Elle80 Thu 02-Jun-16 12:49:28

Bloody hell! Overreacting much?!! Who are you going to tell on your husband to SS? You seriously need to get a grip. If you did take any of this further you could potentially ruin your marriage and your husband's reputation (SS involvement "safeguarding"). Is that what you would want?

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