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To wish my best friends liked each other?

(11 Posts)
MrsExpo Wed 01-Jun-16 21:16:04

I'm lucky to have an active social life and a good circle of friends and acquaintances and different things i do and a interested in. However, I have two people who I would consider to be my "best" friends. These are women with whom I've shared life's ups and downs (theirs and mine) over many years, in whom I confide, socialise with and whose company I enjoy. Ironically, they actually have interests and other thing on common which you might think would draw them together. But .... The problem is that they can't stand each other!!! As such I never get to see them together, as they would both refuse invitations to meals out or whatever if they knew the other were going to be present. Is it too much to ask for the people I like and admire, to like and admire each other ... or at least to tolerate each others company for a while. Or is that just unrealistic and selfish of me?

SweetieDrops Wed 01-Jun-16 21:19:29

I don't think it's selfish to wish it were otherwise but at this point it is unrealistic. They clearly don't want to be in each other's company so accept it and see them separately.

TheFuckersBitingMe Wed 01-Jun-16 21:27:41

YABU. I have a best friend who has another best friend who I cannot get along with at all. She's just everything I dislike in humans generally, and so our mutual best friend accepts it and sees us separately. At her birthday parties and meals we smile (and sometimes even that pains me) and that's it.

I don't think it's U to wish it were different. It's U to expect them to admire one another. I admire nothing about that best friend of my best friend. She's an asshat. I imagine your best friends feel the same way about one another.

DixieNormas Wed 01-Jun-16 21:35:04

my best friends don't really get along, they tolerate each other for me but that's about it

pictish Wed 01-Jun-16 21:41:42

I'd like to say yanbu to expect them to get along for a while...but the truth is, I didn't like my best friend's other best friend and spent years avoiding being around her.
I'm not a petty dislikey person in general but like Fuckers says, she was everything I don't like in a person...bossy, competitive, full of herself. I certainly didn't mind that she was my friend's cherished friend though - I just chose not to spend time with her.

Hodooooooooor Wed 01-Jun-16 21:44:41

Is it too much to ask for the people I like and admire, to like and admire each other ... or at least to tolerate each others company for a while. Or is that just unrealistic and selfish of me

Yes it is too much to ask, and it is unrealistic of you. They don't like each other, and there is no reason that they should.

MargotLovedTom Wed 01-Jun-16 21:47:41

My friend's other close friend was jealous and resentful of me when I came on the scene over 16 years ago. We have tried to get along but unfortunately because she is a fucking pain in the fucking arse there have been troubles and now we realise we are best just not bothering. That's putting it politely wink.

SisterViktorine Wed 01-Jun-16 21:54:23

Unfortunately it is too much to ask.

I have a similar problem in that I have had, over the years, a couple of close friends who I would have liked to convert into 'couple' or 'family' friends. However, DH hasn't liked friend's DH.

Nothing I can do. I just have to see friend separately and not combine it as a 'whole family' thing.

BrianCoxReborn Wed 01-Jun-16 21:55:21

Eurgh. So close to home.

I've been close friends with someone for 10 years ish.

She met a mum at school a few years ago and waxed lyrical about her. I was really excited to meet her.

Met her at a fundraising thing she'd organised, introduced myself as "hi, I'm Brian, Ethel's friend, I've heard so much about you!" she looked me up and down and said "I've no idea who you are" (she really did")

The next time we met was at Ethel's party and I was nursing my baby. She tried to humiliate me by drunkenly shouting all the men or "her boys") over to discuss how yucky BF must be and that she didn't want to do it because her nipples are so sensitive and only for sex.

She then kindly took DS, an hour later, so I could get some food. I thought maybe I'd misjudged her. Ethel's husband came over and said to her "are you not eating?" and she pointedly looked at me,shrugged and rolled her eyes, whilst holding my baby!

So I backed off. I had PND and she is a Grade A bitch. She's welcome to Ethel.

I refuse to be in the same room as her, she's a bully and sees me as an easy target.

BrianCoxReborn Wed 01-Jun-16 21:57:39

Actually the holding baby thing must have been before the nipple thing as she was roaring drunk and I'd not let her hold my baby 😂

My rage has mixed up the bullying.

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead Wed 01-Jun-16 22:01:03

My best friend has a couple of other close friends, one of whom I can't stand and who can't stand me. But whereas she will comment about why would mutual friend want to spend time with me, I just leave her to it...

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