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DH is on a health kick and it's doing my head in

(71 Posts)
DuvetDayEveryday Wed 01-Jun-16 20:34:43

When we met he was a gym goer and had big arms and rippling abs. Nine years later he is still fit but has a more lean physique and his abs have all but disappeared.

So, having hit the big four-oh, he's decided to sort his body out. He had a Fitbit and is obsessed with his step count, calories in and out, sleep quality, everything. I have one too and I feel like a complete fat lump next to him. He averages 15k steps a day, I average about 3k. blush

He's been off work this week and at random moments he jumps up and does twenty press ups, or planks for two minutes. He's constantly on at me to come out for a walk when I'm quite happy lounging on the sofa.

He's now bought a pull up bar for the garage door and keeps reading me articles from the Internet about callisthenics and the fat content of certain foods.

I love him to the ends of the earth but he is doing my head in. It's a constant reminder of how unfit I am (I'm a good four stone heavier than when we met and a lot unheathlier). He isn't trying to make me feel bad but he is. I don't need catsbumfaces from him when I take three biscuits from the tin or eat cheesy chips for lunch. Neither do I need a constant stream of info from him about good fats and high salt contents or the benefits of 10k steps a day.

Aibu? (I suspect I possibly am).

JackandDiane Wed 01-Jun-16 20:35:17

you are

Are you fit?

JackandDiane Wed 01-Jun-16 20:35:38

ah yes - rereads - go and get fit and join him

GinIsIn Wed 01-Jun-16 20:36:45

buy dog/borrow toddler. Attach Fitbit to said dog/toddler. You win. You're welcome!

SweetChickadee Wed 01-Jun-16 20:38:27

Hmm tricky. I'd want to kill him, but at the same time 4 stone is quite a lot to gain sorry

So while he sounds totally OTT he might have a teeny weeny point...

FeckinCrutches Wed 01-Jun-16 20:40:12

How can you only be doing 3k steps a day?? That's only over a mile a day surely? <misses point€

DuvetDayEveryday Wed 01-Jun-16 20:41:55

That's my average. Some days I do around 8/9k, others I don't get up until midday do around 1.5/2k.

thebigmummabear Wed 01-Jun-16 20:42:11

my dh does this too! It drives me completely insane. Good thing with him is it doesn't last long and after about a week he gives up again and joins me in being a coach potato again. I always said to him i don't care what he does but please don't ram it down my throat and to be mindful of the dc when he puts emphasis on losing weight.

fitzbilly Wed 01-Jun-16 20:42:38

I think yabu, e he is doing the right thing by being concerned about his health and making changes, I know you don't wantto now but it would be best if you joined him.

You could make your own little changes that you increase week by week, like trying to increase your steps perhaps? Everyone feels better for being more active and healthy.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 01-Jun-16 20:47:16

1.5k is shockingly little! I think increasing steps on that type of day would do you a lot of good.

I do 8k on average, but two or three times a week I'll do 15k. I do work from home so it's an effort to make sure I'm moving but it's pretty important.

I wouldn't be happy with him judging my food though

DuvetDayEveryday Wed 01-Jun-16 20:50:05

It's actually not quite as low as that. I am generally quite lazy though.

DuvetDayEveryday Wed 01-Jun-16 20:50:33

(I don't check it that often)

purplefox Wed 01-Jun-16 20:52:48

Yabu and if it's reminding you how unfit/healthy you are do something about it? Surely you'd feel better for it.

NapQueen Wed 01-Jun-16 20:53:07

3k steps is about my average. I work outside of walkibg/public transport capabilities so drive to my desk job, spend 8.5 hrs there. Drive home. Walk around the supermarket. Walk around my house sorting the kids bath and bed. Frankly how I get to 3k surprises me. On days off its more like 6.5k.

Yabu generally. He is simply talking to you about his interests. He isn't making you do stuff or ruining your usual joint activities because of his restrictions.

FraggleMountain Wed 01-Jun-16 21:08:23

My DH has done the same thing! In the beginning it unsettled me, as it felt as if he rejected not only unhealthy food but also having a cosy evening with me (ie g&t and ice cream on sofa). And as for his setting off for the gym at 7 on a Saturday morning... But then I got inspired to get healthier myself and it has been great. It can be good to rethink how you spend time together. I realise this may sound impossibly wholesome, but try to see what's in it for you

Pearlman Wed 01-Jun-16 21:21:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamacien Wed 01-Jun-16 22:13:51

If your weight is causing you health problems and DH is genuinely concerned for your wellbeing then YABU. If not and he's just busy riding his health kick high horse round and round you then YANBU sit and enjoy your biscuits while he munches on some stringy kale leaves.

PatriciaHolm Wed 01-Jun-16 22:15:04

I think you've got the hump because deep down you know he's got a point. He's trying his best to be healthy and you know you are unhealthy and overweight.

DuvetDayEveryday Wed 01-Jun-16 22:16:09

I'm a size 14 where I was a size 8. I did go up to an 18 but I've lost two stone in the last year. I'm quite happy as I am (I have boobs for one thing...).

londonmummy1966 Wed 01-Jun-16 22:18:27

Just go out and buy all the most hideous wholefoods you can find (puffed buckwheat for breakfast?) and make him eat it - whilst you tuck into scrambled eggs - usually works a treat....

Fairylea Wed 01-Jun-16 22:22:07

He is being unreasonable. If he wants to get fit etc that's up to him but what you do is up to you. I'm not into keeping fit / healthy eating etc and if anyone told me I shouldn't get a cookie or whatever they would get told exactly where to go.

TrollsAreCunts Wed 01-Jun-16 22:26:24

There's a happy medium surely between alfalfa sprouts and cheesy chips. Can you meet him half way?

TBH if you're fat at forty you're going to be obese at fifty unless you change your ways. It's not fun. It's not easy but it's necessary for good health.

gandalf456 Thu 02-Jun-16 15:09:49

Order in a curry and loads of beer for you both. He nights to lighten up.

Millionprammiles Thu 02-Jun-16 16:29:39

You both need to find a happy medium that provides healthy living without compromising family life.

Tbh I'm a bit fed up that dp doesn't take better care of his health - more exercise/eat more healthily. He'll happily eat a healthy meal if I make it for him but often can't be bothered to make the same (10 min prep) meal himself. Its not a lot to ask to ditch the cheese/take away on some days of the week. Why not try a Mon-Thurs healthy eating plan, saving treats for Fri-Sun?

I've started exercising again (usually after dd's bedtime or when she's at a sports activity) but I'm struggling to get dp to do more than half an hour a week. I've done everything I can to make time for him, look after dd, buy personal trainer sessions etc but he can't be bothered.

Its frustrating on either side of the fence but I think every parent owes it to their child to look after their own health.

PacificDogwod Thu 02-Jun-16 16:39:38

Oh, I feel your pain!

DH has taken up cycling (parcels from Wiggle arrive almost daily) and protein shakes hmm - apparently this is part of his version of a low carb/high carb diet grin
He's never been a gym bunny, he has some problems with his joints and has maybe a stone or so to lose, so I am all for him getting fitter and leaner. BUT the obsessing about it! OMG. Just cycle quietly ffs. But no, we have the Strada app (that needs to be discussed endlessly), a minute over-thinking over his oral intake (which still includes chocolate, crisps and New York Cheesecake…) and some preening in front of the mirror.

Yes, Op, do get fit yourself and well done for your DH having a go, but, like I said, I feel your pain cake

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