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...to be thinking of moving away from lovely family, with two little ones?

(9 Posts)
joeschmoesmum Wed 01-Jun-16 10:18:49

We are currently living in Europe, but both DH and I are stuck professionally. I have a job opportunity that I am excited about in Dundee, but that would mean DH would take two years off to stay at home with kids. He can do further study, plus finish a book he has been contracted to write, but will have no other immediate job prospects.

Although we have both been incredibly excited, and somewhat relieved that we are not forever stuck here (a place with lovely weather, but awful in many other ways) - we are suddenly really scared of the possibility that we will be so far away from family and the few friends we have made.

I feel like a terrible person to be taking my kids away from a very beloved granny, a lovely aunt and uncle and some friends our kids have. Also, the most lovely childminder...

Do we take the plunge and go for it? I keep telling myself that we could always come back, but also realise that's actually a very small possibility... Have been in tears all morning, hearing my boys play with their granny and feeling awful!

branofthemist Wed 01-Jun-16 10:22:19

It's a difficult one and one with not right answer.

My parents are the reason we didn't move abroad. They don't know this as they would be mortified. The kids are close to them, they are getting older and need more help. My bro won't help them. In the end we decided to stay.

But I don't think it's wrong to go and onto you can decide. It's not easy and good luck with your decision.

22esmeweatherwax Wed 01-Jun-16 10:24:11

Go for it. If the job opportunity is exciting then take it. The kids will re settle and make new friends. We are a long way from all of my family but the kids have friends and are very happy.

KateLivesInEngland Wed 01-Jun-16 10:26:02

You need to go, you may not ever want to move back but have your holiday there when you can.

Hariasa Wed 01-Jun-16 10:34:32

We're doing it. It's definitely only a temporary move though.

SaveMeNoww Wed 01-Jun-16 10:39:49

I'd take a very close look at future job prospects for DH. Dundee and surrounds are not really employment hotspots so his 'immediate' lack of employment opportunities may become a permanent lack. (Though of course, it depends on what he does.)

luckyfucker1 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:41:32

I post under another name, long-time MNer, but CBA to name change right now.

You have to do what you have to do.

When DH and I moved abroad, we never saw our DMs again. Would we have not moved? No.

On the other hand, when your children move away, you do have to suck it up, as the Scots say: what's good to give shouldn't be hard to take.

MerryMarigold Wed 01-Jun-16 10:41:43

How much do you rely on family help now?

joeschmoesmum Wed 01-Jun-16 10:59:13

Thanks all!

DH is in education, so I think something could come up... We are both keen for him to stay at home for a while though (further study and he has a book deal he needs to finish writing...) We could probably go 2-3 years without him working (we did before, when we moved here, 9 years ago) and we were both happy.

MerryMarigold We don't actually rely on family help - granny, though lovely when with the kids does not help out as she finds they are too much for her to physically deal with when left alone with them. She does do the odd night of baby-sitting when they are asleep, which we will def miss.

branofthemist I can see us staying for my mum too, but we could well get trapped (I am the one with the better CV but no prospects for me here, so CV will keep getting old, iyswim). I am worried about the future we will be able to provide for our little ones ten years down the line, with no marketable skills outside of this small market.

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