to be pissed off at brother/brothers gf

[cjt110]

I get up this morning to a message from brothers girlfriend. "We're at a wedding 18th June. DB has been asked to look after your parents dog so would you be able to look after it as we are day and night guests"

Background. We are all (me, DH, DM, DF and DS) going away on 15th June for a weeks holiday together. This was booked in Jan/Feb time but not before my parents had asked could my brother house/dog sit for the week.

Brother's girlfriend has in the past done things we aren't sure were a bit devious. For example, she asked DB could they have a baby and get a flat together. He said he wasn't ready and didnt want to. Lo and behold a few months later she is pregnant and insisting they move in together (Yes, he's just as much responsible for the pregnancy).

I replied with No as we're all away together and DB knows that. I will speak to my parents as it's been planned for months on the basis he could dog sit.

She replied that it was fine he would just not be able to go. I said I didnt understand why this had cropped up now as he knew full well that we were all away together. She said don't worry its fine.

Am really pissed off that either he is reneging on his plans, or she is shit stirring behind his back. I havent told my parents or DH about the messages yet as I feel it'll cause stress but at the same time, my parents ought to know and be having a conversation with my brother that he is really going to do this and not let us all down.

[AlanPacino]

I would leave it be. You've said you can't. She can only stir up trouble if other people get roped in. Have a great holiday!

[LIZS]

I don't think you need stir it by involving parents. A simple , no we're away too , would suffice. Keep any future replies neutral and factual.

[happystory]

I would leave it too. You can't have the dog and that's that. You do sound as if it's opened a can of worms and it could cause a family argument, so unless you want that, it'd just leave it as it is.

[cjt110]

Thanks all. I'm just worried now that either my brother is going to leave the dog for a whole day and night unattended. Or, as I suspect the case may be, he doesn't want to go to this wedding anyway and girlfriend is stirring.

Thanks all

[Czerny88]

Why couldn't your brother ask you directly?

[HidingBehindThisUsername]

They may have thought "Oh we cannot go to the wedding - but let's just ask on the off chance that cjt can help. No. Oh well."

You really are seeing the worst of their behaviour. Why is she stirring? Not just "asking".

[cjt110]

Czerny No idea. He too has me on facebook - he doesnt have my mobile number as he's always losing his phone and numbers within it. That's why I suspect his gf may well be asking behind his back. She has a habit of making him do things by forcing the situation.

[cjt110]

And to add to it Czenry - he wouldn't ask because he knows we're all away abroad together.

[Gwenci]

Agree with pp on this one. You've said no, it's done and dusted.

There can't be any shit stirring done if no one allows their shit to be stirred.

[vdbfamily]

I don't see the problem here at all. The wedding invite presumably came after the agreement to dogsit. They are trying to find an alternative to allow them to both go and asked you,forgetting you were away with parents. Why does there need to be an ulterior motive?

[TheLastOneStanding]

Maybe your darling DB is just leaving it to his girlfriend to sort out (wifework?) but not told her the ins and outs of your family holiday. Really the only shit-stirring going on here is from you. Is there any harm in her having asked? well clearly as you are judging away

[TheCladdagh]

Isn't it possible it's simply slipped her mind that you and your parents are all on holiday together at the same time?

[TheLastOneStanding]

So yes. YABU to be pissed off.

[Theimpossiblegirl]

She could be trying to stir, or it could equally be that she is tired of waiting for him to sort it out so it trying to be proactive. She may not have known you were away too. If he doesn't want to go to the wedding and is not being straight with her, you could see why she's taking arrangements into her own hands.

[RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers]

I agree, you've already said no.

But I have to say, your brother sounds like the problem here. You're really worried he'd leave the dog for the whole day? Or that he doesn't want to go to a wedding and would wiggle out of it instead of admitting to it? I don't think she sounds the devious one here.

[BarbarianMum]

I think you may be reading more into this than there actually is. She asked, you say no. End of.

[araiba]

gf is not the shit stirrer in this story. OP is

[EponasWildDaughter]

'' "We're at a wedding 18th June. DB has been asked to look after your parents dog so would you be able to look after it as we are day and night guests"

The wording of this suggests she has forgotten that you're going away with your parents. Otherwise she wouldn't be telling you that they're looking after your parents dog.

[cjt110]

I could very well be reading more into it Barbarian My brother is a lazy arse too and chances are, he hasn't told her all the details.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

She said it's fine.

Well there you go then. Drama averted, you can stand down op

[EponasWildDaughter]

Thinking about it more - why would asking someone she knows full well can't have the dog force your brother to go to a wedding?

[cjt110]

And as Robins has said, could well be trying to worm his way out of attending too!

Thanks for the perspective all. I got really cross about it this morning, worrying that he is backtracking on the agreement. Chances are, he's told gf he's dog/house sitting but no more than that. And I do recall him saying when he said he'd do it, it would give him a break from gf. Little git.

[Onlyicanclean10]

Yes can't see shit stirring here from the gf.

However your op annoyed me when you blamed the gf for getting herself pregnant!

Sounds like you seem to infantilise your db and see her as an intruder into your family.

[FlyingElbows]

Op it's a simple request to see if you could help out. Your assertion that her intention is "devious" is just an excuse to make trouble.

[cjt110]

Only Not at all - I did say in the OP he is just as much responsible for them having a child. I made that quite clear. He is a lazy arse and often needs a good kick up the arse over things so it is possible that's what she is doing and I've misconstrued it in my panic at the idea of him not doing as he agreed. He acts like a child anfd comes and goes as the wind blows - Eg. Said he would come up on Monday then didn't turn up. Hence why I panicked when I got that message.