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to be pissed off at brother/brothers gf

(71 Posts)
cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 08:37:47

I get up this morning to a message from brothers girlfriend. "We're at a wedding 18th June. DB has been asked to look after your parents dog so would you be able to look after it as we are day and night guests"

Background. We are all (me, DH, DM, DF and DS) going away on 15th June for a weeks holiday together. This was booked in Jan/Feb time but not before my parents had asked could my brother house/dog sit for the week.

Brother's girlfriend has in the past done things we aren't sure were a bit devious. For example, she asked DB could they have a baby and get a flat together. He said he wasn't ready and didnt want to. Lo and behold a few months later she is pregnant and insisting they move in together (Yes, he's just as much responsible for the pregnancy).

I replied with No as we're all away together and DB knows that. I will speak to my parents as it's been planned for months on the basis he could dog sit.

She replied that it was fine he would just not be able to go. I said I didnt understand why this had cropped up now as he knew full well that we were all away together. She said don't worry its fine.

Am really pissed off that either he is reneging on his plans, or she is shit stirring behind his back. I havent told my parents or DH about the messages yet as I feel it'll cause stress but at the same time, my parents ought to know and be having a conversation with my brother that he is really going to do this and not let us all down.

AlanPacino Wed 01-Jun-16 08:48:12

I would leave it be. You've said you can't. She can only stir up trouble if other people get roped in. Have a great holiday!

LIZS Wed 01-Jun-16 08:59:00

I don't think you need stir it by involving parents. A simple , no we're away too , would suffice. Keep any future replies neutral and factual.

happystory Wed 01-Jun-16 09:05:05

I would leave it too. You can't have the dog and that's that. You do sound as if it's opened a can of worms and it could cause a family argument, so unless you want that, it'd just leave it as it is.

cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 09:27:56

Thanks all. I'm just worried now that either my brother is going to leave the dog for a whole day and night unattended. Or, as I suspect the case may be, he doesn't want to go to this wedding anyway and girlfriend is stirring.

Thanks all

Czerny88 Wed 01-Jun-16 09:51:11

Why couldn't your brother ask you directly?

HidingBehindThisUsername Wed 01-Jun-16 09:51:22

They may have thought "Oh we cannot go to the wedding - but let's just ask on the off chance that cjt can help. No. Oh well."

You really are seeing the worst of their behaviour. Why is she stirring? Not just "asking".

cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 09:54:07

Czerny No idea. He too has me on facebook - he doesnt have my mobile number as he's always losing his phone and numbers within it. That's why I suspect his gf may well be asking behind his back. She has a habit of making him do things by forcing the situation.

cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 09:54:56

And to add to it Czenry - he wouldn't ask because he knows we're all away abroad together.

Gwenci Wed 01-Jun-16 09:55:11

Agree with pp on this one. You've said no, it's done and dusted.

There can't be any shit stirring done if no one allows their shit to be stirred.

vdbfamily Wed 01-Jun-16 09:55:54

I don't see the problem here at all. The wedding invite presumably came after the agreement to dogsit. They are trying to find an alternative to allow them to both go and asked you,forgetting you were away with parents. Why does there need to be an ulterior motive?

TheLastOneStanding Wed 01-Jun-16 09:57:20

Maybe your darling DB is just leaving it to his girlfriend to sort out (wifework?) but not told her the ins and outs of your family holiday. Really the only shit-stirring going on here is from you. Is there any harm in her having asked? well clearly as you are judging away

TheCladdagh Wed 01-Jun-16 09:57:36

Isn't it possible it's simply slipped her mind that you and your parents are all on holiday together at the same time?

TheLastOneStanding Wed 01-Jun-16 09:57:54

So yes. YABU to be pissed off.

Theimpossiblegirl Wed 01-Jun-16 10:00:11

She could be trying to stir, or it could equally be that she is tired of waiting for him to sort it out so it trying to be proactive. She may not have known you were away too. If he doesn't want to go to the wedding and is not being straight with her, you could see why she's taking arrangements into her own hands.

RobinsAreTerritorialFuckers Wed 01-Jun-16 10:00:13

I agree, you've already said no.

But I have to say, your brother sounds like the problem here. You're really worried he'd leave the dog for the whole day? Or that he doesn't want to go to a wedding and would wiggle out of it instead of admitting to it? I don't think she sounds the devious one here.

BarbarianMum Wed 01-Jun-16 10:01:57

I think you may be reading more into this than there actually is. She asked, you say no. End of.

araiba Wed 01-Jun-16 10:04:42

gf is not the shit stirrer in this story. OP is

EponasWildDaughter Wed 01-Jun-16 10:06:47

'' "We're at a wedding 18th June. DB has been asked to look after your parents dog so would you be able to look after it as we are day and night guests"

The wording of this suggests she has forgotten that you're going away with your parents. Otherwise she wouldn't be telling you that they're looking after your parents dog.

cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:07:04

I could very well be reading more into it Barbarian My brother is a lazy arse too and chances are, he hasn't told her all the details.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 01-Jun-16 10:07:11

She said it's fine.

Well there you go then. Drama averted, you can stand down op <salutes>

EponasWildDaughter Wed 01-Jun-16 10:08:53

Thinking about it more - why would asking someone she knows full well can't have the dog force your brother to go to a wedding? confused

cjt110 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:09:05

And as Robins has said, could well be trying to worm his way out of attending too!

Thanks for the perspective all. I got really cross about it this morning, worrying that he is backtracking on the agreement. Chances are, he's told gf he's dog/house sitting but no more than that. And I do recall him saying when he said he'd do it, it would give him a break from gf. Little git.

Onlyicanclean10 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:11:18

Yes can't see shit stirring here from the gf.

However your op annoyed me when you blamed the gf for getting herself pregnant!

Sounds like you seem to infantilise your db and see her as an intruder into your family.

FlyingElbows Wed 01-Jun-16 10:13:30

Op it's a simple request to see if you could help out. Your assertion that her intention is "devious" is just an excuse to make trouble.

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