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AIBU to really not want a leaving do

(8 Posts)
zara020 Tue 31-May-16 21:34:01

I'm being made to feel like a massive killjoy at work because i really cant do with fuss and attention!

In 3 weeks I leave a post I have held for a year as I got a new job in a different department (big university setting). I have a an ok relationship with colleagues, get on well with them but I'm not really one for socialising out of work as I have my hands full with 2 kids and I am also an introvert and prefer to be at home.

Anyway, as a compromise, as I made it clear I wanted no big fuss, I suggested that on my last day, why don't we just order a nice lunch from local deli as a treat, just for those who would happen to be there. I would be quite happy with that as no one would be particularly be going out of their way for it. We can have our lunch go back to work etc etc

Now my line manager has taken it upon herself to invite the entire department, (even department members I don't really know who work from a different base and would need to make a special trip) wants to get a full on buffet ordered and make a great big thing of it! This is my idea of hell...ive said I don't really want this to happen in my honour, I'm flattered i suppose as I'm hardly long serving, but genuinely hate the idea. Shes really put out are a few others as they cant see my pov at all.... Being made to feel abit shit. someone please reassure me I'm not being unreasonable!

Onlyicanclean10 Tue 31-May-16 21:37:58

No of course you are not unreasonable. I am sure they like you but it smacks of all about them rather than you.

Not sure what you can do though other than not turn up. People are twats flowers

pattysgotastropon Tue 31-May-16 21:48:19

This is not going to help you with your problem but i think you are NBU. I left a job where i insisted that i didn't want any fuss. In the week leading up to my leaving i found out accidently that some 'do' was being organised for my last afternoon. Luckily i worked flexi hours so on my last day i came in really early and did my hours, went out for lunch, switched my phone off, and never went back. It was the ignoring my feelings that pissed me off more than the actual idea of a leaving thing.

zara020 Tue 31-May-16 22:03:56

Thanks for you replies, it is reassuring to know I'm not alone n the party pooper corner.

Patty I love that so much, good for you. Did you ever find out what happened?

Katisha Tue 31-May-16 22:17:15

I also hate leaving dos and have always avoided. When I left somewhere I had been at for a while I just went out for dinner with 5 other people that I had worked closely with. Recently I left a team that I had been with for 5 years and made it v clear that there was to be no fuss, as I knew one of the team was always very keen on organising this sort of thing. I think it's more to do with her and how she thinks things should work than out of any real consideration for the person she is organising it round. I have no issue with being centre stage if its giving a presentation or something, but for some reason I loathe it when it's leaving dos.

CoperCabana Tue 31-May-16 22:22:11

I actually love a party and socialising but HATE leaving dos and whenever I have been coerced into having one, it has always been a joint affair with other leavers or peoples birthdays or whatever. I moved departments a couple of years ago within the same company, and couldn't even be arsed to have a 'leaving lunch' in the canteen! It is just not my thing. So as far as I am concerned, YADNBU!

Foxyloxy1plus1 Tue 31-May-16 22:35:32

I left one job under difficult circumstances and felt that I couldn't join in the party. I wasn't the only person leaving. A dear friend took me shopping and put gifts etc in her car to give to me later.

I'm glad I didn't go- the insincerity on the part of one person would have been too much to stand.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 31-May-16 22:40:22

Meh. Just don't turn up.

What are they going to do? Hunt you down?

Just don't turn up for the party.

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