To Go To This Funeral

(12 Posts)
ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Tue 31-May-16 20:43:50

I'm off work on long-term sick leave. I am, to all intents and purposes, disabled right now, awaiting surgery. I can get around, with difficulty, on crutches and my pain relief make me woozy and sleepy, therefore my HR dept and GP agreed that I shouldn't work until I've recovered from surgery.

An old friend died recently - a woman I used to be friends with but haven't seen in a long time. One of our most senior managers is also an old friend of hers and it's likely she'll be at the funeral too.

Whilst it's clear that I'm not mobile, I wonder if she'll think, "Well, if she can come to a funeral, she can come to work."

For info, my old friend has no real family, so I wouldn't be dreadfully missed if I didn't go.

WWYD?

Mouikey Tue 31-May-16 20:49:14

No YANBU, being off sick doesn't mean you stop going out of the house, especially for a reason such as this. Clearly if you were down the golf course or bungee jumping there would be an issue.

Also, don't avoid the Senior Manager, if they ask how you are tell them that things aren't good, but you can't wait to be well enough to get back to work.

Hope things get better soon x

PreciousVagine Tue 31-May-16 20:51:15

She might think that (because some people do unfortunately think that way) but she would be wrong to think that. I would still go.

whois Tue 31-May-16 20:52:50

Id go if you can manage it.

Getting a taxi to sit in a funeral and going home after a couple of hours is NOT the same as going to work.

evileyes Tue 31-May-16 20:56:08

YANBU. I would go too and make sure to speak to the senior manager and express how keen you are to go back to work if/when you are fit and able. You are doing nothing wrong. I can understand why you feel uncomfortable but you really shouldn't.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Tue 31-May-16 20:59:45

YANBU. You can still go.

When I was off work sick, my work contacted me to say I was welcome at the Christmas party. Obviously I didn't get hammered and dance the night away but it was nice of them to acknowledge me. Going out once, in pain is not remotely the same as working regularly.

AreTheyTheBreaks Tue 31-May-16 21:07:14

Go, this doesn't reflect on your ability to work and your friend having 'no real family' makes it more important. Go and think of your friend.

Boiing Tue 31-May-16 21:18:57

I doubt very much that she'd think badly of you for going. It's much more likely that she'll assume you feel rough but dragged yourself there to pay your last respects, I think that's admirable. It doesn't really matter what she thinks anyway. Go.

Momamum Tue 31-May-16 21:24:38

If the funeral is a cremation, the service lasts about 20mns, so max 3/4hr to arrive at the Crem, inspect the flowers and talk to other attendees afterwards, then call a cab to take you back home? Seems fine to me.

In your position, I'd think of phoning your senior manager beforehand and say that you will be there to pay your respects. Who knows, she/he might even offer you a lift back home?

It's lovely that you want to be there to say your last goodbye to your old friend flowers

sepa Tue 31-May-16 21:24:52

Being in pain is hard work (I have a cronic pain condition). All reasonable people know you can still do things whilst in pain, just at a great cost to the next day or so. Working all day all week is different from a few hours at a funeral.
You have said that your HR department and GP (I'm guessing jointly) have agreed that your not in a position to work and this will be enough for your senior manager

ClumsyFool Tue 31-May-16 21:42:53

There's a huge difference between being able to attend a funeral and being well enough to regularly attend and complete shifts at work. As a manager I wouldn't bat an eyelid about someone on long term sick going to a funeral. I also wouldn't expect them to be housebound either and would encourage them to get out and about if possible as it can have such a negative effect on mental wellbeing not to.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Tue 31-May-16 23:19:37

Thanks all. I'm surprised everyone says I should go. I thought I'd get a few warnings not to.

I will go. Thanks again

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