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AIBU?

To wonder why bigger outcry for genetic strangers murdering children than their own parents

63 replies

Rowanhart · 31/05/2016 20:41

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/gateshead-mum-partner-found-guilty-11407072

To me a baby being killed by their own mother is more shocking. Being killed by the one person supposed to protect you is more horrific than a predator (although,of course, equally distressing)

But for the media and many people a stranger is the bigger story.

I wonder why.

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SolomanDaisy · 31/05/2016 20:44

I think there is a lot of outrage about parents who kill, but more coverage of stranger murders. I think because of fear. We know we won't murder our own children, but we fear other people killing them. It's also much rarer than murder by parents.

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BillSykesDog · 31/05/2016 20:44

Is it bollocks. It's a huge story when a child is killed by it's parents. There are 3 big cases alone underway at the moment. I think you're confusing low key reporting because cases are sub judice with no reporting at all.

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PreciousVagine · 31/05/2016 20:49

Murder by a stranger is less shocking but creates more fear because it could presumably happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. That's the kind of stuff that sells papers etc.

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Rowanhart · 31/05/2016 20:54

I don't know, Bill. I wonder how many front pages will lead with this story tomorrow.

If don't think there'll be as many if was stranger.

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fusionconfusion · 31/05/2016 20:54

It's far more common for family members to do it which given human psychology makes it less shocking. But yy to the reduced fear factor. I know I'm not going to kill my kids but I can never know that with certainty about anyone else who might care for them, even my lovely kind gentle stepdad. So it's the Bogeyman for lots of us, and that shifts papers. Unpalatable but probably true.

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GirlOverboard · 31/05/2016 21:15

I think it seems more shocking when a child is abducted and murdered by a stranger as it's a very rare occurrence in this country. Children are far more likely to be killed by their parents.

And when a parent is responsible the case is usually closed very quickly. We often don't hear about it until charges have been pressed or the case goes to court (with some exceptions like Mikaeel Kular and Tia Sharp).

However when a child has been abducted and murdered by a stranger the public often follow the police investigation in real time. We can watch the police searching for the child and/or the killer on 24 hour news. I think that makes people feel more emotionally involved.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 31/05/2016 21:27

What Girl said.

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:30

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LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 31/05/2016 21:33

One would only argue that if one were really fucking stupid though

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:37

How is it stupid, Lady S? It's true.

I would NEVER condone making abortion illegal - too many desperate, damaged women - but a lot of people do choose not to continue a pregnancy because it's not convenient and doesn't fit their life plan. Unless it would result in abject poverty, neglect of current children, or serious health issues then it's still killing a child, even if it's not murder.

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Buckinbronco · 31/05/2016 21:38

Yeah you'd have to be a dimwit to argue that


I don't think it's more shocking/ reported when a stranger kills a child, if anything the opposite. I suppose there is a fascination about the relationship- did the mother do it under the strangers influence? Often it seems so

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Lorsaidthedean · 31/05/2016 21:39

What Ladystark said.

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Buckinbronco · 31/05/2016 21:39

Because they're not a parent and its not a child Hedgehog?

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LadyintheRadiator · 31/05/2016 21:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:41

N.B. I support a woman's right to choose what happens to her own body, but I think it's still a child, not just a "bunch of cells" and that in the absence of real harm (physical or psychological) in continuing the pregnancy it's wrongful killing.

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Buckinbronco · 31/05/2016 21:41

"Unless it would result in abject poverty, neglect of current children, or serious health issues then it's still killing a child, even if it's not murder."

I don't even understand this. Are you saying you think abortion is murder UNLESS continuing with the pregnancy would result in serious health issues, neglect to current children or abject poverty?

If so that has got to be the strangest thing I've heard in a while

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:43

Lady I never said my opinion is the be all and end all, I'm just giving a viewpoint. You're free to disagree!

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Lorsaidthedean · 31/05/2016 21:44

Children being killed by parents/caregivers is many times more common than by strangers. Around one a week I think, and this doesn't include deaths caused by neglect.

So it is so rare, it sore shocking when it happens.

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LadyintheRadiator · 31/05/2016 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:45

Buckin I don't think it's murder at all - murder is a legal definition. I just think that in certain circumstances it's norally wrong (according to my own principles - you may disagree).

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:45

*morally

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Alisvolatpropiis · 31/05/2016 21:47

A foetus is a not a child. Either in reality or in the eyes of the law. HTH.

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Buckinbronco · 31/05/2016 21:48

Then why are you saying it? It's got nothing to do with the OP and you're not making any sense

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AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 31/05/2016 21:49

Lady - I'm not sure why you're having such a hard time understanding. If a person shoots another person, often it's murder. However, there are mitigating circumstances that mean it's NOT in fact murder.

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VestalVirgin · 31/05/2016 22:18

Patriarchy used to mean men were allowed to kill the children the women in their household gave birth to. (No one knew who actually was the father back then)

Presumably that's why it shocks some people less. The notion that a man owns his wife and children is far from extinct.

People are also much less shocked if a woman is raped by her own husband, who is supposed to love her, than by a stranger.


I did get the impression, however, that cases where a mother kills her child or children are very much covered by media. People do consider that unnatural and dwell on it a great deal. Can remember a lot of cases from the top of my head, where the name and location of the murderer was mentioned; while men who kill a woman and her children out of spite because she divorced them, do not often get more than a small newspaper article - it is common, and therefore not newsworthy, I guess.

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