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to ask for help re sleep deprivation

(6 Posts)
waitingforsomething Tue 31-May-16 11:59:26

I am really desperate which is why I'm posting here. I have two children- they generally sleep fine. Baby (10mo) is an early riser but usually sleeps through until 5.30-6.
The problem is that I cannot get out of the habit of waking in the night and when I do I cannot get back to sleep. On a regular night I will go to bed between 10 and 11, wake at 1 for an hour or so, wake at 4am and then can't get back to sleep as waiting for baby to wake. So my day starts at 4am. If I go to bed earlier I just end up starting my day at 2/3am instead.
I feel awful. My head aches, I can't eat properly and my mood is on the edge. I'm not stressed; everything is okay. I'm a slightly reluctant sahm as on an abroad posting with dh and can't work but only here for another 7 months and really not that down about it. My kids are fairly easy going, my family are all nice and Normal! Any ideas that can help sleep. I am desperate and on the edge of depression over it.

MustStopAndThinkBeforePosting Tue 31-May-16 12:28:16

I have sleep patterns like this but have "sleep hygiene" routines to help me maximise my sleep:

What do you do in the hour or so before you settle down? If it's tv/ tablet/ computer/ phone use then that's not helping, nor if you are actively doing chores like making packed lunches etc. Read a book or do something calming like knitting/crochet while listening to soothing music.
It is normal to wake 2 or 3 times in the night. Everyone does. People who sleep well have no memory of doing so because all that happens is they surface from sleep, establish that it's still OK to be asleep, roll over and start snoring again. Stop equating waking up with having to be awake - if you allow yourself to think "oh no I am going to be awake for 3 hours now" it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That said, if you are definitely awake, don't lie in bed. Let bed be a place for sleepiness. Get up, do something to reset your brain (I write down whatever I am worrying about on a post it note to think about in the morning) and repeat your pre-bed activity reading/whatever to reset your brain to sleep mode.
Mindfully telling yourself as you settle "I can sleep now until 6am so I have seven hours for sleep" can also help. As can earplugs.

backtowork2015 Tue 31-May-16 12:56:45

Things that help me:
No alcohol
no caffeine after 6pm
camomile tea at bedtime
exercise early evening
fresh air during the day
eat regularly, eve meal early and snack before bed (toast )
If you wake play the alphabet game, think of a category and name answers beginning with a,b, c etc. Good categories are flowers, things you can buy in boots the chemist. Don't be distracted from the task. If your mind wanders then refocus on answering the alphabet... I never get past m, n before I've fallen back asleep

Postino Tue 31-May-16 13:03:46

I hear you, poor thing flowers

This book helped me enormously, also anything I could do to relax, which I know isn't easy with a baby around.

waitingforsomething Tue 31-May-16 13:18:30

Thanks so much everyone I will try all your suggestions and will definitely get the book. I feel like nothing will work for me and I'm getting worried about it but I can't be the first insomniac out there

enterYourPassword Tue 31-May-16 13:32:41

Have you tried going to bed earlier for a week or two? Enough for it to become 'normal'? DH and I are usually in bed by 9pm (lights off by 9:30) as alarms in our house go off at 6:00.

Orgasms release a hormone which helps you sleep. Definitely helps DH smile

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