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To Object to DH drinking

(36 Posts)
katienicnac Mon 30-May-16 20:59:59

Me and my DH have been together for 17 years, married for 6 of them. Our Children are 5 and 2. When I met my husband as a teenager he was a competitive skier and kept it up until our eldest was two. He never drank for all the years he was competing and had a very strict diet. He never showed any interest in drinking.

Ever since he has quit skiing competitions, he has started drinking a few glasses of wine, at least 4 nights a week. He doesn't get drunk, but he is noticeably quieter and I don't like it. He has also put a little bit of weight on. I bought this up with him and he just laughed and refused to stop. I married a non drinker! AIBU?

BillSykesDog Mon 30-May-16 21:01:26


NeatSoda Mon 30-May-16 21:02:23

How much does he drink?

leopardspice Mon 30-May-16 21:02:45

Yabu and judgey

Savagebeauty Mon 30-May-16 21:03:02

I would go and join him in a drink if I was you.

katienicnac Mon 30-May-16 21:03:46

Two glasses of wine, sometimes three.

VimFuego101 Mon 30-May-16 21:04:12

How much is he drinking? A glass a night - YABU. A bottle a night - maybe you have a point.

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 30-May-16 21:04:42


AdrenalineFudge Mon 30-May-16 21:08:32

All things being equal I really don't see the problem here. A few glasses of wine does not an alcoholic make.

MakingJudySmile Mon 30-May-16 21:09:46

How much of a bottle would one of his glasses be? Is it four bottles a week or two a week?

He's having alcohol free days each week?

No sounding like a problem to be honest.

OhForCodsHake Mon 30-May-16 21:09:56

Two to three glasses a night? Not very rock and roll confused

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Mon 30-May-16 21:10:00

I'd also laugh at you and refuse to stop. You're being ridiculous.

Boogers Mon 30-May-16 21:11:06

He was also 6 years younger when you married him. People change. And I expect your body has changed a bit from having two children but you don't say if he's mentioned your wobbly bits.


TheUnsullied Mon 30-May-16 21:13:02

YABU. I'd ignore you too.

FluffleFloffle Mon 30-May-16 21:16:21

Do you drink?

gamerchick Mon 30-May-16 21:17:11

So what's the problem exactly? He's putting weight on? We have to work a bit harder as we get older to keep our weight down.

Smartiepants79 Mon 30-May-16 21:28:11

His habits have changed. He's an adult.
It doesn't sound like it's currently having a negative effect on his behaviour so I think you need back off and let him be.
A couple of glasses a few nights a week is not a very big deal.
If it's starts to get more and more or starts to change his behaviour then you may have a reason to question it.

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 30-May-16 21:43:56

YABVU. There's nothing wrong with him drinking a couple of glasses of wine occasionally.

NeatSoda Mon 30-May-16 21:51:09

I'm not a big drinker so I get where you are coming from.

However, it doesn't sound as though you can ask him to change.

DrawingLife Mon 30-May-16 21:57:08

I'm going to go against the grain here and say YNBU. Of course people change, but if it's a habit you don't like, which makes your dh change in ways you don't like it's not nice.
Latest alcohol guidelines are actually 14 units a week, so it depends on the percentage of the wine and the size of the glasses whether it's an actual cause for concern (apparently a glass of wine is between 1.5-3 units). I know many people think a few glasses a day aren't a big deal but I have seen two acquaintances slide from habitual drinking into alcohol habit by degrees, over years, ending with serious damage to health. It doesn't sound like your dh is anywhere near that, but it's not unreasonable to feel a bit uneasy that he's developing a "routine" of drinking more days than not in a week.

Oysterbabe Mon 30-May-16 21:59:23

Yabu and controlling.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Mon 30-May-16 22:03:35


I guess technically he is over the 14 units a week. But he's miles away from problem drinker territory.

WorraLiberty Mon 30-May-16 22:14:05

God I wish my DH was quiet when he drank wine but it makes him bump his gums like there's no tomorrow.

The other night he yakked all through Gogglebox and I had to watch it again the next day.

branofthemist Mon 30-May-16 22:19:53

I don't drink and don't see where you are coming from at all

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Mon 30-May-16 22:21:38

Oh god

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