to have given away DS's old stuff even though I didn't buy them?

[storminabuttercup]

So when a relative gives your child a gift and they grow out of it, do you give it away to charity/friends with kids of appropriate age etc?
Just been asked for something that was bought for DS 5 years ago that he grew out of, some had gone to friends, some charity, some binned, probably 3 years ago or so...
AIBU? Surely I'm not meant to keep everything on the off chance? Id have a house full.
Talking plastic toys btw not first edition copies of Dear Zoo or anything

[coconutpie]

They gave your child a gift and asked for it back 5 years later? What a cheek! YANBU.

[bluebelle2662]

Well realistically you can't hoard it forever. Can't you tell them it got broken so you had to dispose of it?

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

If it was bought for your DS then it is his property and it's up to him/you as his parents to decide what happens to it.

Who asked you for it? DS himself or the giver/a n other random person?

[NeedACleverNN]

Crikey if I kept everything someone else bought my children I would have no room left!

I threw away a little robot dog today that my nan bought my ds. It barked and walked. She bought it from Spain. But the battery panel had no screw keeping it shut and ds managed to get it open and went to put a battery in his mouth. So the dog went

[storminabuttercup]

It's My mum, she wants to give them to someone she knows with a child. I wouldn't mind but she never kept anything of ours even the sentimental stuff as she hates 'clutter' I'm baffled

[storminabuttercup]

Definitely presents, bought at Xmas/birthday. No other little kids in the family

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

So was this clothes that your Mum gave to your DS that she now thinks she'd like to pass on to someone she knows?

[Aeroflotgirl]

That is very cheeky.

[NeedACleverNN]

If you want to give them away do it
If you want to throw them away do it
If you want to keep it, keep it.

I'm guessing your ds is young enough to not have his own opinion on whether he wants to keep them or not

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Conversation should have gone..

Mum: Do you happen to still have X that I gave to DS for his birthday/christmas as I think he has probably outgrown it now and I think it would be nice to pass it on to Y who has a younger boy if it's cluttering up your house?

You: No sorry Mum, I have that away to Z last year.

Mum: Ah okay, that's fine, if you have anything else that he grows out of I know Y would be grateful.

You: Yes that's fine.

I take it your conversation went differently?

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Blimey, if I kept everything of DD's over last 8 years, I'd buried under a mountain of stuff.

[LyndaNotLinda]

It is cheeky to ask for a gift back which is effectively what she's doing. I'd say if she's going to give presents in future, to clarify if they're gifts or loans.

Having said that, I suppose it depends how she asked and her reaction when you said no. If she said 'I wondered if you still had X that I bought for Bobby when he was 5 because my friend Susan has been looking for one for her grandson but can't find one' and wasn't disappointed/upset/hurt/other negative emotion when you told her no.

[storminabuttercup]

Sorry I was being really vague wasn't I?
Not clothes it's toys.
First thing was a garden toy, I gave it to a friend last year after it had been stuck in the garage for 4 years, DS was way too big for it and it hasn't been used for years. I said I no longer had it and id given it to my lovely friend, I got 'oh well x would have been really grateful for that' I don't even know x, and my friend was grateful for it.
So this has set off texts asking about other than toys that would be appropriate for this child 5 years younger than DS.

[LyndaNotLinda]

I didn't entirely finish that 2nd paragraph but basically what OneMagnum said

[storminabuttercup]

And I didn't finish my reply to magnum, so no it didn't go that way, PA comments about thinking I would have kept them in case I had another child.

(Which is never going to happen)

[LyndaNotLinda]

Eugh - in that case, I'd ask her to clarify whether they're gifts or loans.

And tough shit if she's offended. PA behaviour really gets on my tits

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Hmm, I think she has maybe promised something without checking with you and now feel a bit awkward that she has to go back and say No so she is desperately trying to find something else to hand on.

It's not you it's her :)

[storminabuttercup]

Hmm yes I think she may have said 'oh storm has an x, I'll get her to fetch it'
She actually did this with something I had bought and was planning on passing on.
She will be arsey about this for weeks now

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

the devil in me probably wouldn't be able to resist winding her up for the next few weeks but you do what you need to do... :o

[storminabuttercup]

I have said from now on I'll pass back everything she has bought once we are done with it....
But no, she doesn't have room to store these things you see.....
Maybe I need to ask for a fucking tardis for the next present

[abbsismyhero]

next time a gift is grown out of ring and tell her so she can find a new home for it

[NeedACleverNN]

Well that's when I would say but I don't know X.

My friend y is lovely and she really appreciates the stuff. So nice to watch younger children play with them again