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Would you be offended?

(39 Posts)
Maisy313 Mon 30-May-16 10:21:37

Mil has just gleefully informed me that seeing 'me and dh have children and what it does' my bil has gone from wanting children to not wanting them. My bil has every right to have whatever conversation he wants with his mum but aibu to think it shouldn't be repeated back to me in front of my children and that it's clearly a hurtful thing to say? She's also taken a load of photos of my first thing this morning, before I've had a chance go get dressed or brushed teeth (I'm never normally included in photos) and just made a weird mimicking sound when I asked her not to and said it's too late I've already got four.

Maisy313 Mon 30-May-16 10:23:03

Sorry for typos - typing on phone whilst pretending to dry my hair!

glenthebattleostrich Mon 30-May-16 10:24:04

I'd be throwing the bitch out of my house via the window for the photos alone. How nasty.

Maisy313 Mon 30-May-16 10:25:12

Sadly I'm in her house so would be tricky!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Mon 30-May-16 10:26:11

oh my goodness, did MIL's phone just fall into the washing up bowl

fancy not looking there first. It must have been in there for aaaaaaaaages.


PovertyPain Mon 30-May-16 10:26:31

Good grief. I was going to call her a cunt, but a cunt's a useful thing. What's the fucker doing at your house and why haven't you thrown her out?

DailyMailYobos Mon 30-May-16 10:26:37

How did she get in?

Kummerspeck Mon 30-May-16 10:26:57

Nasty behaviour from her. I doubt she always looked a picture when her children were young.

I'd be inclined to suggest she goes to visit BIL and stays there if she can't treat you with more respect. Where is your DH in all this? He should be telling her this is absolutely unacceptable in his family

PovertyPain Mon 30-May-16 10:27:13

Oops, xpost.

wolfwhistleme Mon 30-May-16 10:33:10

She sounds like a right charmer !

Willberry Mon 30-May-16 10:35:22

😯 taking pics of you without permission is definately out of order! I would be asking DH to make her delete them. I'd be tempted to pack the xar and head straight home too, but if I thought she was trying to be spiteful I would smile and act oblivious to her digs and insults so she didn't get the satisfaction of knowing she had bothered me.

If BIL has looked at your life and doesn't want it so what so long as its the life you and DH want but it does sound like shes being spiteful for some reason, if that normal for her?

facebookrecruit Mon 30-May-16 10:40:21

She sounds like a nasty bitch and a right fucking nightmare!

SpeakNoWords Mon 30-May-16 10:41:44

What does your DH think of her behaviour? I think I'd be leaving and not returning tbh. The taking of pictures is just weird and juvenile, not to mention the whole "not normally included in photos" thing?!

glenthebattleostrich Mon 30-May-16 10:43:13

Window is still an option!

Pack up and leave. Tell DH he will be visiting his mother alone in future as you are pruning poison from your life.

Maisy313 Mon 30-May-16 10:45:15

I think it's fine regarding bil comments to his mum, just really not the kind of thing I would repeat back to the people involved. To be honest it did hurt me a bit. Photos thing I hate... Will delete them later of given the chance, dh has offered to delete.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Mon 30-May-16 10:53:26

Wow, what a nasty thing for your MIL to do (the photos) and say (re: BIL)

I hope she's a better granny than a MIL.

For God's sake don't completely ruin anything expensive or sentimental in her house, you won't be invited back. Top tip: small children and Sharpies are a brilliant terrible, terrible mix.

pictish Mon 30-May-16 10:55:12

What is her problem?! OP she sounds terrible!

Speak to your dh...her conduct is unacceptable. If he won't sort the wicked woman out, you'll have to step up and do it for him. No way do you need to be having that in your own home. Put her out unless she can behave.

pictish Mon 30-May-16 10:56:37

Oh you're at her place. Sorry.
Leave. Seriously...if this is not addressed to your satisfaction without delay, don't stay.

pictish Mon 30-May-16 10:58:34

I once had one of dh's relatives try to take photos of me first thing in the morning. Once.
She didn't do that again.

diddl Mon 30-May-16 10:58:54


Oooh, that's better!

What does BIL think that it has done to the pair of you?confused

nuttymango Mon 30-May-16 10:59:26

I'd leave and not go to see them again. She sounds horrible.

Boomingmarvellous Mon 30-May-16 11:06:40

She sounds awful. Grit your teeth and leave as soon as possible.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Mon 30-May-16 11:09:44

What a nasty cow.

I'd make no secret about gettng her phone & deleting the photos and pronto before she uploads them to facebook.

Repeating what BIL said, quite possibly in jest or not at all was nasty. Saying it in front of your kids, even worse!

It will escalate if DH doesn't pull her up on it. I wouldn't go and stay again & your kids don't need someone this horrible in their lives.

I put myself through hell tolerating my ex's evil mother (wanted her 5 adult sons 'at home' again & made no bones about it). She'd outright lie about really serious things (like one of the boys bringing an ex back to stay over & hearing them 'at it' all night when he'd gone to stay to keep her company because she couldn't stay in the house alone when fil was in hospital overnight. Pretty bloody stupid as we knew the ex and where she was that night, not yo mention he adored his wife & just wouldn't). My Ex was such a people pleaser he tried to keep us both happy and that was impossible - it was a huge contributing factor to the breakdown of our relationship.

CoteDAzur Mon 30-May-16 11:12:56

Other people's small children (even those you are related to) are indeed effective contraception for many.

We laugh about my DB's scheming to have DD sit with him & DSIL on plane journeys when she was little, and how that served to postpone DSIL's wishes to have a baby. I don't think it is offensive. Small children are hard work and spending some time with them does help clear away romantic thoughts about how lovely it would be to have one's own.

ohtheholidays Mon 30-May-16 11:19:36

Delete the pictures and leave you MIL sounds unhinged!

If your husband says but the DC will miss out I'd go yes they'll miss out on having a fucking arse of a Grandmother who slags them off in front of them!

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