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to be sick of everyone at work

(10 Posts)
GratuitousSaxandViolins Fri 27-May-16 20:11:37

I feel as though I've been put in a very difficult position at work - I'm in a team of 3 very capable women. I am the most junior even though it's actually a senior role within the company. I've been given a project to lead on the strategy side of things but I just forever feel my decisions are being questioned and undermined. I don't think I'm being oversensitive, I truely think the other 2 I work with don't trust or respect me and I'm beginning to lose confidence and strength of my own belief which makes me dither and procrastinate which confirms their belief. It's a vicious circle and I now can't seen the wood for the trees.

I'm also doing alot of the operational side of the business, ie. alot of the legwork and am not keeping on top of that either because I'm trying to do the operational and the strategic. It's an impossible situation and I don't think I can keep going like this. If I don't succeed I reckon they'll just think I can't cut it.

I've kind of voiced my concerns to my manager but I can't even articulate my feelings anymore, I'm losing my way.

I'm getting angry at myself for being so pathetic. I'm very capable, or at least I used to be. I wonder if I'm beyond my limit of capability now.

I don't even know what my AIBU is but I couldn't find a relevant topic in "work". I'm just looking for words of wisdom from someone I suppose.

SnookieSnooks Fri 27-May-16 21:15:49

YANBU.... Office politics as you describe here was why I became freelance.

I'm sure you're not being over sensitive.

You cannot control what these women do. My general advice would be to communicate with them as calmly as possible, without emotion. Document all discussions and Keep your management informed.

Myusernameismyusername Fri 27-May-16 21:20:01

I have not been in my job very long where I am now, and have decided it's just not the workplace for me. So much doesn't work and I have been miserable for a lot of these reasons.
Communication is key here, and there are things you can try - meeting, mediation etc.
I am not usually a quitter but something in me just though you know what, I don't need this stress and I applied for something new and got it. New challenge but hopefully something I can settle in. Not saying to leave, def give it time but don't be unhappy - you probably have so much potential and don't feel obliged to stay if it isn't working out

GratuitousSaxandViolins Fri 27-May-16 22:47:28

Thanks - I think I need to stay very emotionally detached from the situation and give it a little while. If things really are not working I should look elsewhere.

baffledmummy Fri 27-May-16 22:57:32

Oh my....everything you wrote resonates with me, I could have written your post word for word. Not sure I am in a great position to give you any advice but I hope you get through it. Does your company have an EAP scheme? I've always been a bit dismissive in the past but got the courage up to contact them yesterday so hoping that might help.
Good luck OP.

readytorage Fri 27-May-16 23:14:52

I know the feeling. I can't be much help offering advice other than to say I can empathise with you. The vicious circle of self doubt is horrendous.

You CAN do your job. Probably with your eyes closed. Work methodically and try not to panic. You can do this OP flowers

Myusernameismyusername Sat 28-May-16 00:30:32

Have you for anyone you can speak to? I get regular supervision, even so I tell them how I feel and nothing much happens but at least it is off my chest!

GratuitousSaxandViolins Sat 28-May-16 06:59:37

Thankyou for all your advice - it makes me feel better that it's not just me!! I think I just need to take a step back and stay emotionally detached. Also the advice of don't panic is great because that's how I'm beginning to feel!

Looking rationally I know my manager at least thought that I was capable of taking on more responsibility, that's why I was given it, I just wish I was given a chance to prove it! It's so difficult to voice that to anyone in the company, I don't think they'll get it as the other 2 are actually so good at what they do and they are nice people but there is definitely a power struggle that I caught in and I don't have the constitution for it grin

Myusernameismyusername Sat 28-May-16 17:02:33

I feel similar over a work issue and there is a vast difference between capability and power. I want to be a team player but I want a fair playing field. And if management can't help create one then I will bow out.
Don't panic for sure, and detach emotionally. Maybe once you do that the power struggle won't seem so intense

Twowrongsdontmakearight Sat 28-May-16 17:10:14

I think you need to spell out what you're planning to do and how you're going to do it. Get your colleagues onside. I've been on the other side, working on a project where the leader really didn't inspire confidence. It is very unnerving when the project is important to everyone but could go tits up due the lack of leadership / direction. People panic and take it upon themselves to sort things out despite the leader.

If our leader had actually explained his rationale we might have understood more and been able to be supportive rather than plugging our perceived 'holes'.

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