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To keep my hair loss a secret when dating?

(13 Posts)
CathyRindhoops Fri 27-May-16 12:29:28

I have to wear hairpieces, due to partial hair loss. They are very realistic and I look normal and attractive wearing them. Without not so great sad Am recently single again, so - AIBU not to reveal this when dating? At least not for a while until I feel I can trust the guy? Or is this being deceptive? My best friend thinks it's tantamount to false advertising unless I tell them straight away. I feel it's too personal and nobody's business unless I choose to tell them.

I'm also worried about the guy's reaction either way. What do you think?

Vardyparty Fri 27-May-16 12:32:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowinfusedspaceunicorn Fri 27-May-16 12:32:46

It's not false advertising because you are a human being, not a product!
I totally understand that you might be worried about a reaction but I think it's totally your decision and you should do what you feel comfortable with.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 27-May-16 12:33:27

Ive told paramours. Actually, barring total blindness, it must be pretty obvious I have alopecia.

You could mention it very offhandedley, "oh, by the way ...".

If they can't deal with it, fuck 'em. Its not something you can help or change. smile

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 27-May-16 12:34:49

Your friend sounds a bit mad though, tbh.

SaveSomeSpendSome Fri 27-May-16 12:35:10

I wouldnt mention it

Littleorangecat Fri 27-May-16 12:35:29

False advertising?! Goodness. No you are perfectly entitled to wear whatever hairpieces you like for whatever reason you want, it's no one else's business. You tell them when you feel ready (if ever!) No body is perfect in my opinion and if someone judges you on this they are not worth knowing!

nobilityobliges Fri 27-May-16 12:36:57

Absolutely tell them whenever you feel comfortable. The 'false advertising' idea is ridiculous and offensive. However, you deserve to find a lovely man who thinks you look lovely with and without the hairpieces (I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think). So I hope you don't shy away from telling people. Apart from anything else, you don't want to waste your time with a wanker whose not cool with it. I guess maybe think about what time in the dating set up you'd want your date to tell you about an equivalent ideosyncracy (and think about how you'd feel if a guy told you something like this - not like it was false advertising that he hadn't said sooner I'm sure!).

CathyRindhoops Fri 27-May-16 12:37:46

VeryBitchy - How did your paramours react when you told them?
Ha, I don't think my friend's mad, just worried about me getting hurt, I think smile

SquirrelStandoff Fri 27-May-16 12:40:20

You keep it to yourself if that is what you want.

People do all sorts of things to present themselves... Imagine saying 'I dye my hair, wear a padded bra and a girdle, have false teeth, glass eye, colostomy bag, whatever' on a first date.confused
You want to get to know someone and get a sense of whether you can trust them with information that is sensitive for you, before you tell them. If they are the kind of dick who would see it as false advertising, hopefully you would have screened them out already.

44PumpLane Fri 27-May-16 12:41:16

Any woman wearing chicken fillets or a push up bra, hair extensions or false eyelashes, spanx or false tan could be said to be perpetrating the same type of "deception" as you're referring to....... I'd not worry about it, have a few dates and then if you feel comfortable with the guys just casually mention it.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 27-May-16 12:46:00

They didn't say much beyond "oh, right" and carried on with whatever they were doing. None has shown the remotest bit of interest, not even "when did it start/why do you have it?" (The bastards!) angry

With one of them, my hair cover had just come off all over his face whilst we were er... getting to know each other better. blush I had to tell him he had a black face and needed to go wash it.

You don't owe anyone an explanation, far less at the beginning of your relationship. Does your friend thinking wearing heels on a date is "false advertising" because you'd otherwise be shorter?

But really, LOTS of ppl wear wigs/hair pieces for many reasons. Maybe they're bald/thinning hair/lots of hair but just don't like it.

CathyRindhoops Fri 27-May-16 12:55:59

VeryBitchy Thanks for sharing grin Yeah, this is what I'm worried about - once things get physical I guess I don't have a choice about telling them. Good to know that yours didn't care. I think i'm scared about how they'll react, as men as such visual creatures, apparently.

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