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To think this guy is creepy?

(46 Posts)
IHateSummer Fri 27-May-16 11:46:01

About a year ago I met a guy on a dating site, he seemed nice enough, good sense of humour, managerial position at work, well travelled. We were messaging/texting daily for quite a few months, and he kept pushing me to meet him. This was tricky though, as I'm in Wales and he's in England - I've also got young DCs (he hasn't) and I'm busy running a business. I can't really get a babysitter outside of school hours as one of my DCs has severe behavioural problems, borderline ADHD. I continually explained this to the guy, but did say he could join me and my friends on my birthday night out last year, which he did.

I met him, we had a good chat and drunken snog and he seemed nice until he stormed off because my friend was quite drunk and talking a lot and 'breathing' on him, which he said annoyed him. He text me the next day saying he still wanted to see me again, to which I replied okay, I'll check my diary and figure out when I can take time off work/organise a babysitter.

The next day he text me again, saying I should go away for the weekend (abroad) with him. I explained again that unfortunately I don't have the option of leaving my children for an entire weekend and swanning off abroad. He said he understood, and said he'd come and stay at my place instead... now I'd said nothing about him coming to stay with me or even offered, I barely even knew him at this point so why would he think it acceptable to invite himself to stay in my home (with my children) for the whole weekend?!

Anyway, his persistence was starting to get on my nerves so I made excuses about work/kids every time he text and assumed it would fizzle out and he'd get the message. Nope. He continued to text me every few days, things along the lines of 'so, when are we going out drinking?' or 'are you coming to stay at mine this weekend?' and I'd have to continually explain that I couldn't. At one point I told him to eff off because he just wasn't listening to me. We stopped speaking after that, for a good six months.

Fast forward to last week, and I get a message on Whatsapp from him. I wasn't sure who it was at first as I'd deleted his number.

Him: "Hi"
Me: "Who's this?"
Him: "Wow, so you obviously deleted me then? It's X."
Me: "Oh right, erm no, just got a new phone so lost my contacts."
Him: "So, when are we going to have a night out again?"
Me: "I don't know..."
Him: "I like the treat them mean, keep them keen thing you do, so sexy"

I ignored him after this. Then just now I have had more messages through from him...

"Hi" "What are you up to?" "Are you there?" "When are you going to come and see me?"

I've ignored them. But Whatsapp doesn't seem to give me an option to block/delete his number. Anyone got any ideas on how I do this? Am I overreacting... he might just be a lonely guy who really liked me. Surely no one would go through this much trouble just for a one night stand?! Or he could be a total weirdo waiting to get me alone and chop me up into tiny pieces. I've blocked him on Skype and Facebook which I think he knows, but I just can't get him off Whatsapp! Maybe keep ignoring him? Tell him I'm getting married? Fake my own death?


RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Fri 27-May-16 11:50:06

I'm think you're irresistible and that's why he can't leave you alone OP wink

However, compliments aside, can offer no practical help on WhatsApp. As far as I know you have to be the administrator to add/remove people which does seem a little open to abuse.

Helpful, not really!

hellsbellsmelons Fri 27-May-16 11:51:49

I think you can block.
Go into WhatsApp.
along the bottom are contacts.
Go into his and scroll down and it says 'Block this contact'
Well it does on my iphone anyway.

He sounds deranged.
I'd be blocking and ignoring from now on.

Vardyparty Fri 27-May-16 11:52:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenbean Fri 27-May-16 11:52:43

Well, you are treating him mean, keeping him keen!

I would send one message saying quite clearly that you're not interested and asking him to leave you alone. I think on whatsapp if his number isn't in your phone and he messages you newly (ie after you've deleted chat history) it gives you the option to block

Also is a good time to check your security settings on FB etc are completely locked down so he couldn't accidently find you from there

hellsbellsmelons Fri 27-May-16 11:53:03

Actually, if it's a number not recognised as one of your contacts then at the bottom of the chat message it gives you option to block, report as spam or add to contacts!

Loraline Fri 27-May-16 11:54:06

On my android phone if you go into a chat with someone and click on menu on top right, then select more, block is an option there

Jeezypeepers Fri 27-May-16 11:54:08

If you click on their name at the top of the conversation log it will take you their profile and a menu; the last option on the list is 'block this contact'. Hope you get rid of him!

SquirrelStandoff Fri 27-May-16 11:55:08

He could be anything from a socially inept muppet blinded by lust, to a creep who preys on mothers to groom their kids.... There's no knowing. You do know that he isn't sane enough to recognise cool behaviour for what it is and instead narcissistically frames it as you trying to keep him keen. Block.

Vardyparty Fri 27-May-16 11:55:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly Fri 27-May-16 11:55:28

Him:- When are we going to have a night out? You:- I don't know???
You can't whine that he won't leave you alone after a response like that confused

Arfarfanarf Fri 27-May-16 11:57:47

I think you need to clearly tell him that you aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with him and you wish him well but do not want any further contact at all, not once, for any reason.

Pseudo341 Fri 27-May-16 11:58:53

From your OP you've never actually told him you're not interested. You need to stop making excuses as to why you can't see him and just tell him straight that you're not interested and won't be seeing him so could he please stop contacting you. Some men can have incredibly thick skins. If he keeps trying to contact you after that you need to look into blocking him, but at least try spelling it out first.

IHateSummer Fri 27-May-16 12:01:02

Thanks everyone. I've not got an iPhone so maybe it's different, because I remember having a block option with my old phone. He just messaged again, and I said politely that I cannot meet him, to which he replied 'how come?' I may do as Queen suggested, I wonder if he'll even listen.

Razorlightnight Fri 27-May-16 12:02:08

I think he's not really getting your hints and/or is after a friends with benefits type thing so is happy to text out of the blue .. you do need to tell him you're not interested though. Seems to me that he thinks you're on the same page but just can't find the time to see him.

DoreenLethal Fri 27-May-16 12:02:26

But Whatsapp doesn't seem to give me an option to block/delete his number. Anyone got any ideas on how I do this?

Not sure about deleting but why are you scared of telling him that you are just not interested? just tell him.

"When are you going to come and see me?"
'Oh hi. I'm not in the least bit interested. So you might want to stop wasting your time keep asking. It ain't gonna happen. I can barely remember you to be honest.'

Queenbean Fri 27-May-16 12:03:05

Don't be polite. Be blunt otherwise he won't get the message

And then block so he doesn't have a chance to say "no need to be nasty when I was just being so nice!"

pippistrelle Fri 27-May-16 12:03:47

It sounds like you haven't actually told him you're not interested and, for whatever reason, he is unable to work that out for himself. Just tell him. You can personalise it if you like by saying that for reasons of distance and your other commitments, you don't think it's a good idea to pursue any sort of relationship.

LotsOfShoes Fri 27-May-16 12:04:12

Block him, he is creepy. You did also string him along for quite a while in the beginning though, that wasn't very nice of you either.

pippistrelle Fri 27-May-16 12:05:17

de-personalise, I meant.

seeyounearertime Fri 27-May-16 12:06:39

reply and tell him to fuck the fuck off and stay the fuck away.
Any more contact by him will be seen as harassment and the messages will be saved and shown to the police if necessary.
I dont know if you actually could call the cops etc but it might just get the message home enough.

ImperialBlether Fri 27-May-16 12:07:51

I'd just be polite and say he lives too far away and because of the children he can't stay at yours and nor can you stay at his. Once he realises there's no sex, he will lose interest.

IHateSummer Fri 27-May-16 12:10:03

I didn't mean to 'string him along' I did genuinely enjoy talking to him for those first few months, I found him interesting. But I found it offputting when he started becoming quite persistent/clingy (my pet hate).

I will tell him straight need to be more assertive

FanDabbyFloozy Fri 27-May-16 12:10:31

On an Android phone.. in the conversation, click the three vertical dots on the top right hand corner. Then More, then block.

curren Fri 27-May-16 12:10:33

You block on I phone by opening the chat thread and tap on his name or number at the top. Scroll down, the block option is there.

Just block him and forget it

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