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AIBU to think this was a bit off?

(17 Posts)
Imavinoops Thu 26-May-16 09:41:46

Okay so DSS goes to a nursery and as DP is at work I tend to make lunches and get him ready to go. On pick up the other day one of the staff approached us and said "Can I have a favour?"
She said that DSS took a couple of quavers from another child today and could he have some more food in his lunchbox as he is obviously still hungry.
I had packed sandwiches, some cheese, tomatoes and a yogurt which is felt was perfectly adequate for a little tummy.
When I asked if he had eaten everything in his lunch she said he had eaten everything apart from the bread! (The most filling bit, so obviously he would still be hungry.)
This annoyed me slightly as clearly he doesn't need more food, surely they should be watching him more! She said he had a few of the crisps and therefore he must have been getting them for a little while before they noticed.
DSS is in the toddler room (going to preschool in a couple of weeks) with other little toddlers and is in a bit of a "everything is mine" stage which we are working on with him. At home he eats his own meals and has almost stopped trying to eat ours, which he used to do often.
I feel a bit annoyed that their solution was for me to "pack more food" as I feel the issue isn't the amount of food but their supervision and encouragement to try the different foods I put into his lunch. I don't want to pack too much food as I want to be able to send him with a balanced meal rather than an unhealthy one.

storminabuttercup Thu 26-May-16 09:46:41

I guess it's hard as they are supervising so many children probably bringing them drinks etc they can't watch every child like a hawk. Sounds like your DS just wanted some quavers to me. Does he usually eat bread? You say he often tries to eat your meals, it does suggest he's still hungry, maybe pack more as suggested and see how he goes?

Imavinoops Thu 26-May-16 09:53:47

I probably should add that I have worked in nurseries, one where we used to have 30 children eating all together on a few tables at the same time! (Which was a bit hectic to say the least haha) so I understand that it can sometimes be a bit tricky but if there are enough staff there then the children should be supervised. What if a child started choking and they didn't notice? What if a child had a allergy and they didn't notice?

DSS can be a little picky depending on his mood and we are trying to get him to eat some different things, which on the whole is working slowly.

When I say eat our meals I mean we all have the same things on our plates but just wants our instead of his which suggests that he just wants the things that other people have. I don't doubt he just wanted the quavers! ;) Haha

attheendoftheday Thu 26-May-16 09:55:54

Why not just add something to his lunch for a week, see if he eats it, then take it out again if he doesn't?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Thu 26-May-16 09:58:04

Hmm.. I don't think it's a quantity issue, but maybe content? Plenty of young dc aren't keen on the bread part of a sandwich, but would eat the contents with crackers or breadsticks or similar. But if you don't want him eating crisps (his or anyone else's!) tell that to the nursery too. But please don't let them make you feel bad, you certainly aren't under feeding him. x

Imavinoops Thu 26-May-16 09:58:30

attheendoftheday That sounds like a good idea actually, then if he doesn't eat it then I'll know. Also the nursery will see I'm doing something rather than ignoring it which is something I don't really want to happen either.

Imavinoops Thu 26-May-16 10:04:35

ColdTatty I'm not too fussy about him eating everything. (We pick him up only an hour after lunch time so sometimes he has a snack then if he is hungry) He is a bit funny with bread, sometimes eats it all and sometimes gets all grotty with it. He likes one thing one week and not the next. (Classic toddler ;) )
I was a bit shocked when she said he needs more food tbh, it's not something I would have suggested to a parent in my nursery role unless something was SERIOUSLY going wrong with their eating and we had tried everything we could before to encourage them to eat all of their lunch first.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 26-May-16 10:08:12

Well I would have thought that regardless of age, nearly everyone else's lunch looks enticing and DSS could have had 57 varieties but some element of the neighbouring child's lunchbox still looked appealing.

(Sorry that wasn't helpful, just writing what crossed my mind).

YouMakeMyDreams Thu 26-May-16 10:09:25

I'm not sure I would have suggested more food if he hasn't actually eaten everything in his lunchbox. That just seems daft. confused he's not taking the quavers because he's hungry he's taking them because he fancied them. If he was super hungry he'd have eaten the bread surely? You say it is something he eats.

SheHasAWildHeart Thu 26-May-16 10:23:32

* He is a bit funny with bread, sometimes eats it all and sometimes gets all grotty with it. *
* was a bit shocked when she said he needs more food tbh*
He didn't eat his bread. He ate someone's crisps. She assumed he wanted more to eat, which wasn't bread which he's funny about. Therefore, she suggested you provide him with more food so he isn't hungry.
Am I missing something?

spiderlight Thu 26-May-16 10:27:18

The contents of other people's lunchboxes are always more exciting than your own when you're that age. Most young children would opt for Quavers rather than bread. I don't think this has anything to do with the amount you've packed, which sounds like plenty to me. Maybe vary what you put in for a few days, although you could try putting in a little bit more to see if it's eaten. I think it's an issue of novelty rather than quantity though.

diddl Thu 26-May-16 11:11:27

He might have been hungry he might not.

I think best that she mentioned it.

It sounds enough.

Problem if he decides not to eat the bread, not sure what you can do about that-other than packing a couple of types for him to choose from!

CaroleService Thu 26-May-16 11:15:12

I would try breadsticks instead of bread.

littlemonkey5 Thu 26-May-16 11:33:03

I'd be a little careful about not worrying about having leftover food because you are picking him up an hour later..... We sent DS with a snack when he first started nursery (we aren't used to sending a child to nursery with food as the others have had cooked meals). The nursery decided that we were neglecting our son and called SS!!!! They said we were depriving him of social interaction or some crap like that. SS told them it was ok and weren't bothered. But still, shook us as we love our DCs to bursting. Plus, DS is hardly starving, he's our chubbiest child!

DS was 3 when he went to nursery and he wouldn't eat bread so we sent him in with a salad. We did cubes of cheese, cherry tomatoes, potato salad, strips of ham or sliced chicken. We then progressed to putting it in a roll so there were no crusts and now he has proper sandwiches and even eats the crusts!! (something the elder 2 don't do!). It is very annoying though, he likes pastries, biscuits and cake (obviously) but they are not allowed at pre-school, it does limit the choices. Even breakfast biscuits with fruit in them are banned!!!! Silly!!

littlemonkey5 Thu 26-May-16 11:35:14

to clarify, he ate at 8am, dropped off at 9am, ate lunch at 12pm, picked up at 12.30pm....... Then had lunch with us at 1pm.

Little piggie ended up with 2 lunches!

Hodooooooooor Thu 26-May-16 11:39:00

I think the strangest thing is someone asking "could I have a favour" since it neither makes grammatical sense not were they actually looking for a favour.

Imavinoops Thu 26-May-16 13:36:50

littlemonkey Ours has breakfast here about 7:30am then gets dropped off at 8:15am. He then has some kind of mid morning snack which the nursery provides. It's basically second breakfast, porridge or toast or something similar but I breakfast him before at home regardless as I think it's at about 9/9:30. He wakes at 6am and that's quite a long time to wait for your breakfast I feel. ;) Then at 12 he has his lunch and then if he seems hungry when we pick him up I will give him a little snack. How can a 3 year old be hungry after all of that! Even if he hasn't eaten his bread! ;)
Gosh that SS bit is strange! Tbh I did have a bit of a flash of "Oh gosh, do they not think we are feeding him enough and therefore not caring for him properly" which is obviously a bit of a shocking thing to feel!

Hodooooooooor That's probably one of the reasons I was surprised what she said! Haha, also your username.. I'm blubbing.

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