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to cut my ex wife's hedge without asking

(147 Posts)
EyepatchOfTravis Wed 25-May-16 19:23:09

My ex wife still lives in the house we used to own together. She rents it now and lives there with our DD. DD stays with me a couple of nights a week.

The house is always a tip, though she hasn't let me in the house for a couple of years now because she didn't like me commenting about it.

The front garden is overgrown and I was sick of the hedges making my coat wet when I walked down her front path, so last night when I came to pick up DD, I brought my shears and cut the hedge right back along the pathway. She opened the door and was really annoyed when she saw I had done it and said it wasn't my place as it's not my home anymore and I hadn't asked her first.

It needed doing anyway, and she let me fix her front gate a few months ago when it was broken.


AlwaysDancing1234 Wed 25-May-16 19:24:28

I think she's being a bit daft to moan about it, I can see you are o Lu trying to help but she might think you are interfering or making out she can't do it herself.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 25-May-16 19:25:09

YABVU - like she said it's not your home anymore and I'm not really sure why you felt like you had the right to do it.

EatShitDerek Wed 25-May-16 19:25:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlightlyperturbedOwl Wed 25-May-16 19:25:45

YABU. You should have offered to do it if you wanted to help. It probably felt like you were imposing your will on her and it's not your place to do so. I'm sure you meant well, but it's not on.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 25-May-16 19:25:56

Could you be the bigger person and offer without criticising?

SlightlyperturbedOwl Wed 25-May-16 19:26:41

And she maybe knew they were annoying you and left them on purpose grin

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 25-May-16 19:28:00

I banned my ex from coming in my home for this reason ( before the non mol that I eventually had to get ).

It doesn't matter if it was a nice gesture - it's her home and it's her decision if she wants the hedges trimmed. I'd wager a bet if you'd just asked first there wouldn't be a problem. It's the acting like it's still your home that will have annoyed her.

MadameJosephine Wed 25-May-16 19:29:32

YABU. Would you cut anybody's else's hedge without asking? I don't think you would, would you? I'm not surprised she doesn't let you in the house anymore

TheNaze73 Wed 25-May-16 19:30:25

I thought that was going to be a euphemism.

You have no right to do it, despite your best intentions. She's an ex for a reason, get a grip & let it go

Dozer Wed 25-May-16 19:31:10


CupidsArrows Wed 25-May-16 19:32:39

You're welcome to come cut my hedge (actual garden shrubbery) anytime you like!

Somethingkindaooh Wed 25-May-16 19:32:56

I don't think yabu, if she is unable to keep the house in a fit state for your dd i think pride gets in the way and she wouldn't ask for your help.

Atleast you're concerned about their surroundings

awhfuck Wed 25-May-16 19:33:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitkat1968 Wed 25-May-16 19:34:37

YWBU, but not as unreasonable as I thought when I read the title and thought you had pruned her lady garden without her consent!

SlightlyperturbedOwl Wed 25-May-16 19:34:57

It's the principle though isn't it. And the judging. I guess you will be vetting her BF next.

Lelloteddy Wed 25-May-16 19:37:48

You seriously overstepped the mark.
Apologise and assure her that you won't invade her personal space again. And mean it.

EyepatchOfTravis Wed 25-May-16 19:40:05

She rents the house now. We split up 3 years ago. We don't really get on but are civil for DDs sake.

ThatStewie Wed 25-May-16 19:41:44

Then you had no right to do it.

SlightlyperturbedOwl Wed 25-May-16 19:41:46

Well if you want to stay civil you need to respect her personal space, just as you would a friend or neighbour.

awhfuck Wed 25-May-16 19:41:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wallybantersjunkbox Wed 25-May-16 19:43:27

Do you own the house OP?

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours Wed 25-May-16 19:45:54

Why are you commenting on her housekeeping?

Either it's a shit tip and unsafe for your daughter, in which case call SS or she's just messier than you, in which case MYOB.

YABU about the hedge.

EyepatchOfTravis Wed 25-May-16 19:45:59

I don't own the house. Someone else bought it.

awhfuck Wed 25-May-16 19:47:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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