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To turn down my drunk husband!?

(22 Posts)
Rightdoer Wed 25-May-16 17:51:56

So last night DH comes back home late after a proper lash with his friends. He is horny and gets into bed trying to get into my pyjamas in his clumsy drunken state. I am not impressed and tell him to go to bed. He gets drunk-angry and decides to go out and sleep in the lounge. Today he is upset with me. Apparently I am 'not spontaneous'!?
I certainly do not think so but I do not particularly find the smell of alcohol in the middle of the night a turn-on.
Was I harsh on him?

whois Wed 25-May-16 17:53:03

Nope. If he had gently woken you up, gone down on you first you might have been more in the mood!

Costacoffeeplease Wed 25-May-16 17:53:06

If you don't want sex, you don't want sex - it shouldn't be a big deal

bluebelle2662 Wed 25-May-16 17:53:20

No, you weren't.

YumBountyChoc Wed 25-May-16 17:53:33

YANBU nothing worse than a drunken man coming onto you, I'd have told DH where to go as well

LineyReborn Wed 25-May-16 17:54:02

Really, whois?

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 25-May-16 17:54:31

If you or your DH thinks it's OK for you to say yes when you feel no ever, there is a serious problem. Or if he feels that he can get angry when you aren't in the mood... he has a very serious problem.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 25-May-16 17:55:21

YANBU, drunk sex can be quite nice but only if you both are.

LineyReborn Wed 25-May-16 17:56:45

Both are what, Through?

I think 'consenting' could be one of the relevant words.

SanityClause Wed 25-May-16 17:58:48

"Not spontaneous" sounds like a criticism to me.

Tell him no one wants to have sex with a drunk person, except perhaps another drunk person.

MrPony Wed 25-May-16 18:00:32

Of course he is BU. I think it might be a man thing. I can't think of anything worse than sex with DH while he is drunk and I'm sober. If it was the other way around he'd love it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 25-May-16 18:01:37

Well I like it Liney, I assume Dh is happy as well.

PortiaCastis Wed 25-May-16 18:02:44

No you were not harsh on him. In fact I'd say he got off lightly.
I was married to an alcoholic and on one occasion when he thought he was being romantic and groping my boobs I shoved him off and he ended up on the floor which was the best place for him.
Why oh why does drink turn men in to groping turds. No means no and your OH should respect that.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 25-May-16 18:04:44

If you didn't want too you didn't want too nothing wrong with that!

Man sulking over sex, not attractive at all.

Drunk sex can be fun of course, well is in this house wink but both partners have to be up for it.

LurcioAgain Wed 25-May-16 18:06:45

Bloody hell - he is totally and utterly in the wrong, and I think your biggest problem is actually his behaviour today when (presumably) sober. If he can't see why you would want to turn down a steaming drunk bloke who was groping you and is now sulking about it, then he is a massively entitled skidmark.

WriteforFun1 Wed 25-May-16 18:09:43

And Whois, er, no.

You didn't want to shag a drunk, end of. I think he's embarrassed and that's where the stupid comment about spontaneous came from. But there is something really grim about a man who can't accept you just didn't want to.

Rightdoer Wed 25-May-16 18:14:37

MrPony that's exactly his point. He claims that he would like it if I came home drunk and jumped on him!
Well that's not going to happen as the only time I drink hard is usually with DH after which we do have great drunken sex ;)
Its the one sober partner/ the other drunk, which I can't get. It must be a man thing that they don't mind doing it with a drunk partner...

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Wed 25-May-16 18:21:07

Tell him if he would like to have a drunk man come and climb on top of him and demand sex then he's welcome to it.

You can take note of the fact that if you were pissed he does not mind you asking (you are u der no obligation to though) and he should take note that you do mind being woken up and asked (and he is therefore obliged to leave you alone).

I like fish. My partner does not like fish. I don't tell him he has to like fish because I want to eat fish.

GabsAlot Wed 25-May-16 18:33:43

tell him to p off nothing worse when youre not drunk and he is

also no is no whatever situation

Pseudo341 Wed 25-May-16 18:42:47

Being pawed at by a drunk man is very off putting unless you're drunk youself. How does he not know that?!

LumpySpacedPrincess Wed 25-May-16 19:02:11

Hate the fact he is sulking because you said no, that's revolting.

MySisterTotallyIs Wed 25-May-16 19:06:41

It is never unreasonable not to have sex when you don't want to have sex. Having sex when you don't want to have sex has a name....

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