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'You're only young'

(15 Posts)
Moomoomonkey Tue 24-May-16 10:03:58

AIBU to be getting really annoyed at work colleagues for saying 'you're only young' when I complain I'm in pain and tired.
I have been suffering from joint pain and fatigue for about 18 months. I finally went to see my doctor, I didn't really think it was serious enough to go before. I very rarely go. I have had blood tests that show poor renal function and a sever vitamin D deficiency. He has just ran further tests checking for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis as well as others. So quite a worrying time for me.
I work in healthcare as a senior healthcare assistant, I have been doing this for 13 years. I'm now 32. On days where I'm really struggling and I say how I'm feeling I get the comment 'you're only young, wait 'till you're our age' and made to feel as though I'm faking how I'm feeling.
Do people not realise that young apoplectic can be ill too?

imwithspud Tue 24-May-16 10:06:33

YANBU, intentionally or otherwise they are minimising your pain and making you feel like it's not important.

I would try my best to ignore them.

WorraLiberty Tue 24-May-16 10:09:01

Do they know you have medical conditions that make you struggle though?

Moomoomonkey Tue 24-May-16 10:13:37

I have mentioned tests and that I have a vitamin D deficiency. I don't want to mention the poor renal function until I have had more tests and know more. The problem when you work in healthcare is that people will tell you things that make you worry more, and I really don't need that as I'm already petrified!

Pinkheart5915 Tue 24-May-16 10:17:08


I do think though that sometimes people still don't expect young people to be sick, especially older people and you say you work in health care so I wonder if you have contact with a lot of older people?
I doubt if anyone means any offence it is just a shock for people to learn that young people are sick sometimes.

Moomoomonkey Tue 24-May-16 10:21:27

Pinkheart, it's other members of staff. I don't complain in front of my patients as they're a lot worse off than I am. I'm at home and still able to work. I try to be cheerful and upbeat around them as that's what they need.

Pinkheart5915 Tue 24-May-16 10:33:07

I guess health care staff should know better really, they must of seen all ages sick at one time or another.

TheNaze73 Tue 24-May-16 10:37:17

YANBU in the slightest. Young in my eyes is under 25 and regardless of that, pain is pain whatever the bloody age

Marynary Tue 24-May-16 11:07:07

YANBU. Unfortunately whilst young people are less likely to be ill or in pain than older people that doesn't mean that they never are. I would want to throttle those who say "wait til your our age". Ignorant idiots.

Marynary Tue 24-May-16 11:11:18

Do they know you have medical conditions that make you struggle though?

That isn't really relevent. The point is that they should be aware of the fact that not everyone is lucky enough to be pain free and in great health when they are young as they obviously were.

Feilin Tue 24-May-16 11:42:16

I've been doing the same job for 17 years. I'm 35 and I've had prolapsed discs , knee pain and now when moving equipment etc some pain in my hands . Wear and tear, poor training , lack of equipment and bad manual handling in the early days have all contributed. YANBU. Tell them to sod off.

halfdoneharris Tue 24-May-16 11:45:43

YANBU at all. My daughter had severe vitamin D deficiency at 3 and could barely summon the energy to walk up the stairs. She has since been diagnosed with coeliac disease and now is a totally healthy little girl (albeit on a strict gluten free diet). I hope you find the medical reason for joint pain and fatigue and start feeling better soon.

halfdoneharris Tue 24-May-16 11:46:25

My point (I think) is that age has nothing to do with feeling healthy. If you are sick, you are sick!

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears Tue 24-May-16 11:51:54

I understand this so much. It's always everyone's reaction when I say I have arthritis- but you're so young! It's like they don't believe me at all. The type I have can be suffered by young children up to old age, it isn't in any way age related. I'm 33 and currently on disability as it affects me so much. The pain is horrific during a flare up and even out of that just constantly there, I take co-codamol most days. My sister has lupus and has been in pain all her life, and is younger than me.

facebookrecruit Tue 24-May-16 11:58:58

I'm thirty with quite severe arthritic knees - it's starting in my ankles and hips too. YANBU

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