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DP likes baby name, but it's the name of an ex..... WWYD?

(54 Posts)
Maudelish Tue 24-May-16 07:54:37

DP has really struggled coming up with suggestions and says any name he's suggested I've had a reason why not....

We are down to two names, one mine, one his.

He loves the name he's found, but it is the name of an ex of mine and a rather unusual name at that.

I don't really like the name.

If we used it and he found out it was an ex of mine's name and I hadn't told him I think he'd be upset.


WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 24-May-16 07:56:18

Tell him, before he finds out.

If he suggested the name, he might not be bothered about an ex.

QOD Tue 24-May-16 07:56:39

Tell.him it's an ex of yours name ... ?

timelytess Tue 24-May-16 07:56:40

From the title I though you meant he'd chosen the name of his ex for your child... shock

Tell him no. You don't want to be reminded of an ex forever. What name is it?

StillDrSethHazlittMD Tue 24-May-16 08:15:25

I think there is an extra question: Is it true that you HAVE had a reason why not for every name he has managed to suggest?

Because if that's true and you're about to do it again, he may feel that you're determined to have a name that you like and he's got sod all input. Which I don't think is a good start to family life! If you don't want this name for yet another reason, then I think you should also abandon your choice to be fair to him and try again.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Tue 24-May-16 08:19:28

Why on earth wouldn't you tell him it's your ex's name? Why the cloak and dagger? Did he think you were a virgin before you met him?

LurkingHusband Tue 24-May-16 08:51:49

I'm a tad curious as to how he didn't already know it was the name of an ex ?

Writerwannabe83 Tue 24-May-16 09:07:02

What's wrong with just telling him it's the name of an ex?

I'm assuming he knows you had some kind of love life at times before he came on the scene?

scrivette Tue 24-May-16 09:07:42

If you don't really like the name then it doesn't really matter as you won't be using it will you?

If you like it and would consider using it then I think it's only fair that you tell him first.

DS2 shares the same first name with the surname of a (very brief) ex boyfriend of mine and I didn't even remember until my Mum pointed it out a few weeks later.

MrPony Tue 24-May-16 09:08:47

Just tell him.

Fwiw I don't think I'd mind my child having my ex's name. He was a dick but had a cool name. If you like it and he's ok with it I don't see why it should stop you.

crazywriter Tue 24-May-16 09:13:28

Just tell him. He should understand. With DD1 we had a name picked out for ages. MIL reminded DH it was the name of a childhood ex just as a joke. I had a little giggle when he said he wanted to change the name. He'd already vetoed my favourite so this change just had me giggling and we soon found a name we both liked. DD2 was surprisingly a lot easier!

NeedACleverNN Tue 24-May-16 09:15:33

Tell him confused

Unless it was a pretty serious relationship, I don't get this "no you can't use that name. He/she was my ex"

Dh drove me mad doing it when we were looking at girls names. Despite insisting I was his "first real proper relationship" no ex names could be used cos it would remind him of her.

What was there to remind him of?!

Junosmum Tue 24-May-16 09:17:08

Our name conversations went as such-

Me- Rachel
DP- nope, don't like it
Me- Faye
DP- nope, dated a girl called Faye
DP- Emma
Me- no, knew a girl called Emma, she was a bitch.
DP- Bob
Me- I had an ex called Bob. Nice bloke though.
Me- Fred
DP- that's ok.

Why did the above not happen with you? Tell him now!

mrsnec Tue 24-May-16 09:30:06

We had this problem and I was honest with dh about it. We argued about it a bit because he didn't see it as a problem. He was happy for ds to have the same name as my dodgy ex!

In the end we agreed that there were plenty of other names that didn't remind us of anyone which is how ds got his name in the end.

EweAreHere Tue 24-May-16 09:35:08

It sounds like there's something else going on with you two since that's the kind of thing that most people would have brought up right away...

Are you two on the same page or are you each trying to 'win' the naming game.

JustABigBearAlan Tue 24-May-16 09:39:00

Well if you don't even really like the name, then the fact it's the name of your ex is irrelevant, surely? Just tell him you don't like the name! hmm

Not that I understand why it would be a problem if you told him about your ex either.

curren Tue 24-May-16 09:43:55

What are you reasons for saying no to his other suggestions?

Are you reluctant to tell him, because he thinks you just make up any excuse so you can have the name you want?

LordoftheTits Tue 24-May-16 09:46:28

I'm a tad curious as to how he didn't already know it was the name of an ex?

I don't think my DH knows any of my ex's names...

LadyReuleaux Tue 24-May-16 09:46:49

Rofling at the idea of anyone suggesting Bob for a baby. Wouldn't it go:

DP- Bob
Me- Bob? BOB? BOB???

Though as I can't possibly imagine a baby called Bob, I realise it will probably be the next big thing and primary classes of 2025 will be chock full of Bobs grin

NeedACleverNN Tue 24-May-16 09:49:54

I met my first baby Peter the other day so Bob could be next

SquinkiesRule Tue 24-May-16 09:50:14

Our oldest has my ex's name (Slight variation but same when shortened) I told Dh that was my ex's name, he liked it anyway and we used it. But Dh chose it knowing it was an ex's name.
You need to tell him.

SlimCheesy Tue 24-May-16 09:50:38

My DH does not know the names of my exes either. He usually just refers to them as variants of 'shit for brains'.

Thankfully 'shit for brains' did not come up as an option!

bostonkremekrazy Tue 24-May-16 09:50:43

my baby's nickname is Bob....not realname. but the only name the baby is every called is Bob..

WTF is wrong with rude

LadyReuleaux Tue 24-May-16 09:52:42

Sorry Boston. It's just a name that makes me think of a 65yo bloke in a pub (or the Blackadder character). But as I say that marks it out as the coolest name of the next few years, so you're ahead of the curve.

bostonkremekrazy Tue 24-May-16 09:56:53

thats Bob is the cutest ever! she is also a girl ;)

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