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To take exception to the term 'mumtitlement'?

(277 Posts)
MerchantofVenice Mon 23-May-16 22:14:56

I'm sure many people have spotted this rather insidious word popping up on recent threads. Personally I find it unpleasant and misogynistic. Depresses me that a number of people immediately piped up about how much they 'loved' the term as soon as it was coined. Bleurrgh.

Why do we hate mums so much?? If someone's being unreasonably demanding, then that's one thing... But to try and link selfish behaviour to 'being a mum'... Wtf?

I get the idea that there is this general feeling that mums are marching around being all 'entitled' and, you know, trying to carry on their lives without apologising for being alive. This desperate need to belittle the whole of mumkind every time one mum gets something a bit wrong is so bloody annoying! Ok, if someone is a twat, call them out on it... But using a term like 'mumtitled' is confrontational to all mums - as if twatishness is peculiar to them...

A lot of the time, the issues seem to be about what women 'should' be doing - should they be going there, should they be breastfeeding there, should they just clear out of the way with their offensive offspring so that more important people can get on with their lives in peace? Pisses me right off.

Anyone else?

I could understand everyone falling over each other to slag off mums if this were, say, chauvinisttwats.com or similar....but it's, you know, mumsnet...

ghostyslovesheep Mon 23-May-16 22:16:14

well if they are mums behaving in an entitled manner I don't see the issue

no more sexists than man flu or mansplaining

PPie10 Mon 23-May-16 22:17:26

Yabu, some women do feel entitled to all sorts because they are a 'mum'.

MerchantofVenice Mon 23-May-16 22:19:01

Well, man flu definitely is sexist, yes. Men tend not to like it... And they say so! Women, on the other hand, seem to love getting in on the misogyny. Why?

Same with mansplaining I guess.

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Mon 23-May-16 22:19:01

"Mumkind"? confused

Yuk.

coffeeisnectar Mon 23-May-16 22:19:26

YABU

The term is used to describe a woman who, now she is a mum, thinks she's entitled to special treatment just because she has a baby.

The vast majority of mums aren't like that but there are some very special cases that deserve the description because they act like they have just given birth to the new Messiah and in actual fact, are the only person to ever have had a baby.

MerchantofVenice Mon 23-May-16 22:22:06

Ha ha! Amusing and telling that a more 'celebratory' (and possibly twee) word like mumkind generates more reaction than a misogynistic one!

MerchantofVenice Mon 23-May-16 22:23:24

Coffee - that would be the most positive interpretation, yes. Don't think that's why it was coined though...

WorraLiberty Mon 23-May-16 22:28:58

I have never heard of mumtitlement before confused

But I do think it's a great way of describing those Mums who genuinely do believe everyone around them, should behave differently to accommodate their child, or the fact they've suddenly become a parent.

If I ever stumble across a Dad who behaves in that manner, I'll be sure to call him Dadtitled. Although in my 24yrs as a parent, I've really only met about 2 Dads like that.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Mon 23-May-16 22:32:00

Couldn't care less really

I really couldn't

MerchantofVenice Mon 23-May-16 22:42:56

Fair enough.

I just get a bit sick of all the different ways we have of policing female behaviour - thought we could possibly do without a brand new way, complete with special word that somehow seems to tarnish all mums (but not, crucially, dads...).

Guess I'm just BU.

53rdAndBird Mon 23-May-16 22:43:54

You're not the only one, OP. I find it a bit strange and saddening how women will happily echo some really nasty stereotypes about mothers - so long as it's those mothers over there, not me, oh heavens no.

Ilovewillow Mon 23-May-16 23:04:13

I strongly suspect that these women were a lot like this before they had children too! As for the word not great, I think it's a twee term for basic bad manners!

igglepiggleisanarsehole Mon 23-May-16 23:07:24

I've only ever seen it used by people who disagree with P+C parking tbh

WorraLiberty Mon 23-May-16 23:18:31

It doesn't tarnish all Mums, though does it?

Just the wanky twatty ones who display entitled behaviour.

fatmomma99 Mon 23-May-16 23:48:16

oh, so I'm the only one who thought the name was inspired by mumsnet and probably appeared the Daily Fail?

awfullyproper Mon 23-May-16 23:52:07

I think:
Mentitled
or
Mentitlement
Sound much better.

multivac Mon 23-May-16 23:55:48

The trouble is, Mumsnet users have worked 'entitled' to death (along with 'grabby' and 'goady') - meaning that in fact, fellow forum members literally cannot see it in posts any more; their subconscious filters it out.

So they need to come up with new, more niche terms to mean, essentially, "not as brilliant, compassionate, patient and generally altruistic as I am".

LikeDylanInTheMovies Tue 24-May-16 00:05:24

But I do think it's a great way of describing those Mums who genuinely do believe everyone around them, should behave differently to accommodate their child, or the fact they've suddenly become a parent.

A cursory glance over these boards will give you plenty of examples of this kind of behaviour. But, I get the impression they were probably horrendous individuals for whom spawning just opens up a a whole new set of opportunities to act in an appalling manner and increases their bogus sense of entitlement to special treatment.

I don't think it implies all mothers are like this, any more than 'mansplaining' suggests that all men are condescending gits. In both these cases, it labels a type of problematic behaviour in a set of circumstances, rather than tarring all mothers or all men.

Ohnowattsthis Tue 24-May-16 00:10:33

I totally agree OP! We are so down on mums.

hownottofuckup Tue 24-May-16 00:15:40

Totally agree with you OP. It's smug and banal and really adds nothing to any conversation.

MerchantofVenice Tue 24-May-16 07:12:06

It's weird how unquestioning we still are, as a culture, of attitudes that unfairly judge women. It's hard to imagine men's 'entitlement' being challenged so routinely.

As a PP has mentioned, there is still a tendency for women to be first in the queue to criticise other women. Men don't tend to do that to each other. I think that, historically, because women had to gain power through men, they learnt to take on board male views of women and champion them. It's why so many women are still so moralistic about other women's sexual behaviour, clothing etc. It's depressing.

Floisme Tue 24-May-16 07:14:24

I'm not sure about this one yet. I hate 'mumsy' or 'granny' (I'm a Style and Beauty regular) or 'bitchy': insults based purely on the fact that you're a woman / parent.

But 'mumtitled' - I've not seen it used but that sounds like a specific type of behaviour where a woman pisses on another woman (often in the workplace) and then justifies it on the grounds that she's a mum and they're not. E.g claiming she has more right to the Christmas leave because she has kids and her colleague doesn't.

Of course most of us don't behave like this but it does happen - I've been on the sharp end of it myself.

curren Tue 24-May-16 07:16:33

I know 2 women who became complete entitled twats once they became mums. They were fine before. But decided when they were of and gave birth, it made them the centre of everyone's world.

I know one man (dbro) who did the same. Parent-titlement sound any better?

I would imagine dad-titlement is the equivalent.

And actually loads people still use man flu, despite men not liking it.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 24-May-16 07:26:04

I do get the impression sometimes that saying anything negative about any woman as decried as "misogynistic". I don't think that's fair to people on the receiving end of that woman's attitude or behaviour.

We do police people's behaviours otherwise societal norms wouldn't exist and many of those are there for a very good reason.

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