At dinner family dinner yesterday after school and I am on diet so politely told MIL not a lot of rice for me. Wasn't in a weird manic way at all. No one batted an eye lid except SIL who rolled hers. Didn't mind - I'm not a baby and diets can come across as annoying to some people .
Eating dinner and MIL says my arms look more toned - I say thanks and that I'm really enjoying getting back into the gym (again in a normal conversational way). SIL scoffs. Again - The whole gym bunny diet thing can be regarded as boring and annoying. I hate people that go on about fitness but all I've done is ask for less rice and respond to a compliment. We usually get along - so I casually said "Whats that for?"
She went on a little "i'm a real woman and I'm not going to kill myself in the gym enjoy your life and eat what you want" rant. It wasn't aggressive but had nasty undertones. The "real woman" comment smarted.
She mentioned her weight and stretch marks and excess skin represent what "real" motherhood is about.
She wasn't saying "real" in the context of "average" which is fair. It was more so "proper" or "legitimate" or even "serious"
It made me angry....we are all real mums. Breastfeeders / bottle feeders / stay at home mums / working mums / skinny mums / chubby mums / gym mums / i hate the gym mums / stretch marks/ no stretch marks/ body confident / body insecure / cellulite / no cellulite/ the odd night out / never leaving the house.....we are all doing our best to not kill the kids be a good parent!!
So I said society expects women to put on weight after children - it's natural and what bloody happens. Hardly makes you more "real" or dedicated to mothering than someone who loses their baby weight.
Anyway I've said sorry but she wont let it go. Apparently I don't know what it's like to not be skinny. What's that got to do with your ability to be a good mum i.e a "real mum" / "real woman". We go on and on about how it's what is on the inside that counts but label each other as more "real" or "dedicated" based on SIZE? WTF?
AIBU to hate the term and think she's being OTT? We are all bloody real mums. I've got the screaming DD's, dirty nappy's, and stash of wine headaches to prove it. What more does she want?
.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to hate the term "real woman" - argument with SIL
62 replies
pardonisallthesuitihaveinhand · 23/05/2016 19:25
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
23/05/2016 19:30
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.