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Not to attend friends DS house birthday party

(35 Posts)
Stardust160 Mon 23-May-16 10:20:58

Went out with my friend and she meantioned having a house birthday party for her DS who will be 1. My DS birthday is in the same week. Aibu not to go?

She regularly had birthday partys in her house for her other DC and frankly they are boring for the children, no party games, no bouncy castle just the kids running around, her DH ( who I dislike and is rude) watches football or plays his Xbox. My two have complained they have been bored and the house is full of adults sitting around chatting whilst the kids get on with it or end up fighting over a toy. Plus il have to leave my newborn with my DH. My other friend has opted out of taking her children to further parties for the same reason. It's just not a party for them.

nanetterose Mon 23-May-16 10:22:05

I think it would be fine to say you have other plans. Plus, it doesn't sound much fun to me either.

wizzywig Mon 23-May-16 10:26:33

Is she one of those parents who think kids are happy with an empty room to run around in? And no party bags either?

Stardust160 Mon 23-May-16 10:29:15

They get a party bag and food that's it tho

NellysKnickers Mon 23-May-16 10:31:12

Are you joking?? She's better off without 'friends' like you.

WorraLiberty Mon 23-May-16 10:33:29

I've never been to a baby's party as I just don't see the point in them.

Just send a card and present.

situatedknowledge Mon 23-May-16 10:33:49

How about "Great, thanks! I won't have the baby with me, so how about I help you organise some party games for the children?"

LeaveTheBastardingBastard Mon 23-May-16 10:36:54

Blood hell ,calm down nelly!

MrsMushrooms Mon 23-May-16 10:37:34

Sorry OP, I think YABU to be so mean about your friend and her parties, but YANBU to not go as it sounds like she's better off without you there as you so obviously don't want to go.

RubbleBubble00 Mon 23-May-16 10:38:51

Pop round for half an hour

Stardust160 Mon 23-May-16 10:39:22

I've been to several parties I wouldn't mind if it was catered to the kids but I it's not fun for me or the children I don't think it makes me a bad person for saying so 🤔 As I stated it my DS birthday so much rather spend time doing something with him going out for the day.

Wolfiefan Mon 23-May-16 10:47:40

Your DS birthday the same day? Don't go.
I'm sorry she's not laying on unicorns and bouncy cathedrals for your precious child. Shame you don't like her DH.
Can't the kids just play, enjoy the food and be happy getting a party bag?
I wouldn't let my kids moan it was boring. Find them something to do and don't let them be so rude.

Stardust160 Mon 23-May-16 10:55:16

Sorry but surely a party is for the kids not for adults.. My children are not previous by no means so please don't attack my children but normally when you attend a party you would expect their stuff for children to do not left to their own devices

curren Mon 23-May-16 11:00:08

I always think a first birthday party is not for the kids. The kids don't care. We went out for meals with my and dhs family. It was more just a 'get everyone together' type thing.

It may not be your idea of fun and it's up to wether you go or not. But she isn't unreasonable to do parties how she wants.

Some of my favourite memories were bbqs in family gardens that were along the lines of this. Yes me and my cousins managed to have hours of fun without party games.

honeyroar Mon 23-May-16 11:02:43

If the kids are running round, surely they're playing and having fun? So that's good isn't it?

SpringerS Mon 23-May-16 11:04:46

Kids don't need a bouncy castle to have fun. They just run about and play with each other. It's what all kids' parties were like before parents got over the top ridiculous. I have lots of great memories of friends and cousins parties as a child and all we did was play with each other and eat party food.

GinaBambino Mon 23-May-16 11:05:50

Jeez! When I've been to children's parties (normally my niece's so I can help out) DSis has always made sure children are entertained with games etc. Luckily being born in august she's always had nice weather so can kick the kids outside if necessary whilst she gets food and other normal games ready. She'd also be mortified if someone tried to organise her party for her! Don't go OP; 1st birthday parties are lovely for family to attend and are a nice thing to celebrate but not if you have a busy family life and your own ds is the same age around the same time.

Oh and just to be awkward who wants to clean up after a load of kids who have been left to run riot for 2 hour rather than knowing what games they'll be playing and you can tidy up as they go. Not always easy at house parties but doable.

ChangedDays Mon 23-May-16 11:11:26

I think your reasoning is rubbish & you sound quite mean so you're prob best not to go & let them have the day they want. I'm sure the kids that do go will play & be entertained just fine.
As your dc's birthday is around the same time I'm sure she wouldn't be surprised that you want to do something with them, if you don't want to be blunt & bitchy to her face about your real reasons

Arfarfanarf Mon 23-May-16 11:18:13

sounds like a 'gathering' rather than a children's party.

in my husband's culture everyone gets together for events like this, including the birthdays of children but it isn't a children's party as such, instead it's a much broader gathering where there is food and music and everyone chatting and having a great time and yes, the kids are expected to enjoy having fun running round and playing with each other.

For my eldest's 1st birthday (and let's be honest, no 12 month old gives a shiny shit about their birthday, bouncy castles or pass the parcel grin ) we had a house full of people and it was brilliant.

I think that it is a case of different expectations. You expect a party to be centred around the child and be everyone focusing on the children and providing entertainment for them and perhaps a bit of chat, food and drink for the adults but them basically sitting watching their kids play.

They, otoh, look to have more of a 'gathering' mentality. All pile in, eat drink and be merry, have a laugh and let the kids play.

Neither is wrong, imo, it's just different ways of doing things.

Both are fun.

Perhaps if you go to it and see it as a different type of party you could enjoy it for itself?

The only thing that would put me off would be her husband. If he's sitting there being rude and with a face like a slapped arse, that would make me not want to go.

But, if it's really not your thing, then give it a miss. Organise a party yourself that is the way you prefer children's parties and invite her.

ChicRock Mon 23-May-16 11:19:07

A 1 year olds birthday party is nothing to do with the child - they won't care if there is a party or not and they won't care who is or isn't there.

You sound quite mean about it all so just don't go. The birthday boy/girl really won't care.

Arfarfanarf Mon 23-May-16 11:19:10

to be clear - organise a party for your own child whose birthday you say is the same week, not organise a party for her child and invite her grin

minipie Mon 23-May-16 11:19:56

It's a 1 year old's party. 1 year olds do not need party games.

I agree it will be a bit boring for older kids if there is nothing to entertain them at all, but the party is not really for the older kids is it. It's for the 1 year old and the parents.

Why not go with your newborn and leave the others at home with DH?

I thought you said it was your DS birthday that week - not the same day?

APlaceOnTheCouch Mon 23-May-16 11:20:21

If you know her well enough to get invited to her home for birthday parties, I don't understand why you don't offer to help with party games?
Anyway, you don't want to go, so don't go.

TFletchersWife Mon 23-May-16 11:22:05

Perhaps she can't afford bouncy castles and entertainers.

Stardust160 Mon 23-May-16 11:25:37

I need to stress it's been the same type of party for her other DC on occasion she has went and hired a place but majority times for the older dcs they had their parties at the house. It would be on that weekend so neither birthdays on the actual day.

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