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Who would say that???

(135 Posts)
onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:18:55

So today, a woman I've never met comes round to pick up something she's bought from me online. She says ' oh I recognise you, I run down such and such lane, and I've seen you with your daughter'. I say I don't have a daughter. That's my boss, and she's 38, and I'm only 46, but thanks'. Aibu to think, she is a rude cock?

Queenbean Sun 22-May-16 21:20:26

Nope. You come across as the rude cock actually.

Ripeberry Sun 22-May-16 21:20:33

Did she go bright red? Lol!

thisisafakename Sun 22-May-16 21:22:20

Maybe she's blind. But yeah unless you truly look like you had a hard paper round I would not think a mid 40s was the mum of a late 30s. Or maybe she saw you at a distance.

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:22:48

So Queenbean, inbu, but I'm a rude cock? I'll take thatgrin

Clare1971 Sun 22-May-16 21:22:48

Are you a hatchet faced old bint and is your boss a stunner? If so YABU

Chillyegg Sun 22-May-16 21:23:20

What? She was making small talk. Surely it's a compliment If she says you look younger that you are?
Fucking hell Nora I wonder what you'd say if someone actually was rude to you. Poor women.

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:23:58

I probably am, but that's all the more reason not to be unkind

PPie10 Sun 22-May-16 21:24:39

No you were the rude one. Maybe you actually do look like a mother-daughter combo.

StrangeLookingParasite Sun 22-May-16 21:24:47

Er, I don't think she did say the OP looks younger...

wheresthel1ght Sun 22-May-16 21:25:29

Ops! That happened to my mum at the gym once, her and her best friend are only 3 years apart but look very similar and the car park attendant said to mum as she drove in "ohh your daughter has just arrived". Mum was utterly devastated. Even more so when her best friend's husband started calling her mum!

I don't think she was particularly rude, it's an easy mistake to make when only getting a brief look at someone. She is probably mortified after your comment though! I hope you laughed as you said it or you were the one being rude

Queenbean Sun 22-May-16 21:25:45


She said you looked younger than you do and you're offended?!

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:25:57

Chillyegg. She thought I liked old enough to have a daughter of nearly 40, how is that a compliment?

Queenbean Sun 22-May-16 21:27:21

Oh the daughter is 38, not the boss? Your OP isn't clear at all

Muddlewitch Sun 22-May-16 21:27:44

Had she seen your boss with her daughter and thought it was you with your daughter? That's how I read it, and I think it's how others did too.

Or, are you often walking down that lane with your boss, and she thought that you were mother and daughter? confused

FirstWeTakeManhattan Sun 22-May-16 21:28:05

She doesn't know you. She was making a bit of friendly conversation and made a mistake. How does that make her 'a rude cock'?

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:28:34

I did laugh, she was mortified, so reassured her that it was fine, but as soon as she left I had a mini breakdownconfused

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sun 22-May-16 21:30:02

Arf at this thread. Do you smoke 100 fags a day and not use sunscreen op? And maybe your boss has a genetic condition that makes her look 15 op?

Or yeah, it was a bit rude but maybe she doesn't wear her specs when she's running. Maybe she has cataracts?

In fact maybe anything other than what the op who was there said grin

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:34:37

OK I'll take iabu, but I'm obviously a wrinkled old prune, so I'm sensitive. She's clearly not a cock( well she might be, I don't know her) but she should think before she speaks.

MrsSpecter Sun 22-May-16 21:34:51

No she wasnt rude at all if she genuinely thought it was your daughter. Perhaps your boss just looks really young.

I made the horrendous mistake of thinking my neighbour's best friend was her mum. I was visiting neighbour and new baby. Neighbour was 36 at the time but i didnt know this and would have guessed she was younger. There was a lady sitting beside the moses basket and i honestly would have guessed she was early-mid fifties. I said "hi you must be X's mum" and she said "no i am not but thanks for making me feel old!" blush i was mortified. The woman wasnt even 40! I really didnt mean to be rude.

Pedestriana Sun 22-May-16 21:36:39

This is one of my bones of contention. It is entirely likely that she did not mean to be rude, but it does come across as rude.
She may have been making small talk but it is the kind of small talk that I find irritating. It makes assumptions and could be upsetting:
For all the woman knows, you could have had a daughter who had died/moved to the other side of the world/was NC with you.
If I saw you running with another female, I would NOT assume that she was your wife, girlfriend, daughter, transgender son. I would have said, "Oh, I recognise you. I see you running sometimes with another person, don't I?"

I have been mistaken for DD's grandmother before - I had her late in life (partly through choice, but further delayed by uncooperative fertility). However, it now seems that people think I'm a bit younger than I actually am and so conversation starters are often "are you going to have any more kids?" or "is she an only child? I bet she'd love a brother or sister"
Again, this makes assumptions. Unless you know me, you don't know the situation. I could, like a friend of my siblings, have had multiple miscarriages, my child could have (like one of her classmates) lost a twin in infancy. There are myriad reasons, none of which are anyone else's business.
I feel 'small talk' is in urgent need of an overhaul.

HostaFireandIce Sun 22-May-16 21:39:00

look like you had a hard paper round

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:41:13

I was just talking about this with a friend. I have one child and some people, think that gives them the right to question my fertility. It's odd the assumptions people on, even odder that they voice them

onlyslightlyinterested Sun 22-May-16 21:43:50

Just to be clear, she has run past and seen my boss and I in the garden.

kaitlinktm Sun 22-May-16 21:51:18

I know how you feel - people were always saying that my mother and I looked like sisters. Such a compliment for the mother - not so much for the daughter though. She used to love repeating it and I used to feel so depressed.

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