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AIBU to not go and pick dd up from her dad's

(26 Posts)
Emochild Sun 22-May-16 09:25:58

Dd aged 12 is at her dad's house

He says bringing her home this morning as agreed will make him late for work so he's asked me to go and get her

I was out a friends 40th last night and had a fair few cocktails -I feel fine but will not take risks when it comes to driving after the night before -he knows this

AIBU to not get her?

CupidsArrows Sun 22-May-16 09:26:55

Nope I would risk getting in the car possibly over the limit. He should have got up earlier.

CupidsArrows Sun 22-May-16 09:27:10


TheSolitaryBoojum Sun 22-May-16 09:27:29

YANBU, he needs to bring her home early enough so that he's not late for work.

SmallBee Sun 22-May-16 09:28:03

YANBU, he needs to be late for work or send her in a taxi and be more organised next time.

MangoBiscuit Sun 22-May-16 09:28:54

"Sorry, I'm not certain I can legally drive this morning. I'm afraid we'll have to stick to the agreed plan."


Twowrongsdontmakearight Sun 22-May-16 09:29:08


HermioneJeanGranger Sun 22-May-16 09:29:55

YANBU, he needs to get up in time to drop her home! If he's late for work, that's his problem.

EatShitDerek Sun 22-May-16 09:30:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Sun 22-May-16 09:31:29

I have had this exact problem in the past! In the end I walked to get her. I'm guessing that's out?

Although he should bring her back as was arranged.

RandomMess Sun 22-May-16 09:34:50

"Sorry that doesn't work for me" - presumably there is history of him being a dick?

PeppasNanna Sun 22-May-16 09:44:36


Littleorangecat Sun 22-May-16 09:45:57

Do what mango biscuit says, YANBU

ParadiseCity Sun 22-May-16 09:45:58

How far away is he? Why has he only just worked out he'll be late for work?

It would be nice for DD to see her parents being cooperative and flexible etc (eg you pick her up from there a bit later on when OK to drive) but if this is a case of her dad being a lazy twat and her mum picking up the pieces then stick to your guns.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 22-May-16 09:46:28

Could he put her in a taxi?

Emochild Sun 22-May-16 09:47:52

I would leave her but for some reason he seems to think she's about 5 so won't leave her alone, get the bus etc

Things she does quite happily when with me

RandomMess Sun 22-May-16 09:51:41

Well that's his problem then.

Sounds more like he wants to be in control of the situation i.e. you and your free time...

Unicow Sun 22-May-16 14:53:57

I wouldn't risk it. You are likely to still be over legal limit. It's unsafe. He needs to learn to parent and drop her, get her a taxi, put her on a bus.

AyeAmarok Sun 22-May-16 14:59:41


DailyMailAreAFuckingJoke Sun 22-May-16 15:40:27

No. If the agreement was that he would drop her and you are still over the limit from the night before, then he needs to drive her.

MrsSpecter Sun 22-May-16 15:45:20

Heh?? So what was his plan for getting her home? Or had he always intended to just leave her for you to collect? How does he normally manage?

Emochild Sun 22-May-16 16:18:42

He usually uses his mum as child care

I go out maybe twice a year -think he just likes to ruin things for me

He dropped her off, don't know if he was late or not -not my problem

pearlylum Sun 22-May-16 16:34:36

i feel sorry for the poor kid stuck in the middle here

Emochild Sun 22-May-16 16:43:18

I've been and collected dd on more than one occasion in the middle of the night because either he's been ill or she has been ill

I cancel plans at the last minute because he has let her down

She knows i'm here for her -but i'm not going to break the law and potentially kill someone by driving when there is alcohol in my system -I don't drink at all when I am in sole care so me saying no is an incredibly rare occurrence

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sun 22-May-16 17:21:46

If there is bus why can't she just catch that? He could wait until she gets on it if he's worried.

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