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AIBU?

to not allow him on the iPad all day?

17 replies

TTwidow · 21/05/2016 15:19

I give DS (age 10) warnings that his time to come off the blasted thing is approaching and then when it's time to come off I get nagged and mithered to death - for hours! I can't remember what he used to do before iPads. I think it's the worse present he has ever been given.
Honestly, how much time do your children spend on theirs? Do you have agreements in place?

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Haudyerwheesht · 21/05/2016 15:22

Ds (9) is only allowed on his for 1.5hrs on weekend days and 1/2 hour the rest of the week and never before 9am or after 6pm. He also has a PS3 which he plays at weekends but can't do 1.5hrs on each iyswim?

We give warnings of time left etc, take it away completely for breaking the rules etc but he still moans and whinges and his behaviour definitely deteriorates. I don't want to stop him using it completely but will if he doesn't sort himself out. He regularly loses time anyways. It's a relatively new scheme though and tbf he'd choose to be outside playing football over screens at any time.

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YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 21/05/2016 15:23

Mine (9,8,7,5) are not allowed on theirs in the morning, they have to amuse themselves. After lunch/ after school they are allowed on them until half hour before dinner unless they have homework or need to tidy their bedroom.

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RoganJosh · 21/05/2016 15:26

Ours are not allowed during the week. At the weekend it's a max of 7-9 and then 4-7 but in practice we make sure we lure them away into other stuff/are out in the afternoon, plus there's meals in there. Having hard rules takes away the huffing and puffing.

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StableButDeluded · 21/05/2016 15:29

I have a ten year old, I have a similar problem. He is obsessed with it. I also wish the bloody things didn't exist.
He is not allowed more than two hours at a time. It used to be not more than two hours in the whole day (weekends) or an hour schooldays, but I have been soft recently and have let my parental duties lapse a bit where that is concerned.
He is also not allowed it just before bed, I believe in a bit of calming down time (at least half an hour) before sleep.

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40somethingwonderful · 21/05/2016 15:32

They get 2 hours at the weekend and an hour in the week, they put a timer on and once it's gone off they have 5 mins to finish game and come off.

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citychick · 21/05/2016 15:52

I have a 9yr old who is a total screen junkie. And I know many other parents who have the same issues.

DS can have 10 mins Monday to Friday after school unless the teacher tells me of anything naughty going on. Weekends more, but we are out and about enough to compensate for any screen time.

We have no telly so my iPad is the go to. The iPad is mine and I have a hiding place he's yet to find. I can tell if he's been hunting for it. He turns our bedroom upside down.

It drives him nuts! Mwah ha ha ha ha.....

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fizzingmum · 21/05/2016 16:49

I have a huge issue with my SS. My partner lets him play on it all the time. And I mean all the time. He arrives with us at 5.30 twice a week and goes straight on it until bedtime at 8pm. Then weekends he plays for 7-8 hours straight, each day. If we try and get him out for something he wants to do it's fine. But if he doesn't want to do the alternative then he sulks and ruins the day for everybody else. I honestly think he is addicted but DP thinks as he is at his mums the rest of the week he is making up for lost time. I try and change it but I'm Banging my head against a brick wall. He is a screen junkie! He is nearly 7 btw. Not sure what to do but interested to see how much time other children play on there game (his is X box btw but same principle although with iPad at least they are in the same room. He is in his own room away from rest of family)

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IslaSinga · 21/05/2016 17:12

Ds (9) is allowed on his kindle fire for a couple of hrs at the weekend. If he doesn't come off it nicely or misbehaves in the day it is often co confiscated (and hidden) for several days if necessary!

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DubiousCredentials · 21/05/2016 17:16

Mine aren't allowed to switch iPad on until 4pm. That way when we eat dinner at 6pm they switch off, eat then naturally move on to doing something else. Only on Fri, Sat and Sun too. Nothing at all Mon-Thur.

They are 7 and 9.

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EquinoxBloom · 21/05/2016 17:40

Mine has it in the morning (not every morning) while I get ready for work. Usually half an hour.

The agreement is if there's any complaining when it has to go off then there's no screen time the next morning.

She is younger though.

I've seen older kids utterly addicted to it and it causes all sorts of tantrums. I'm determined to avoid it and if she started really acting up it would go away permanently.

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Dangerouswoman · 21/05/2016 17:54

Everybody seems to have their own rules. Lots of parents I know say their dc are on their screens most of the day especially when they get to about 11 or 12.

I don't see the point in allowing 10 minutes or half an hour. That's not enough time to do anything. It would be easier not to let them on it at all.

My dc definitely spend too much time on their iPads but I have chilled out over it in the last few months. However they don't watch tv at all so it replaces that in a way. They used to watch DVDs or play on the Nintendo but have grown out of that.

iPads and screens have their place but I do think family life would be easier without them.

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StableButDeluded · 22/05/2016 09:01

I agree 7-8 hours is way too much, fizzingmum, apart from the fact he is not spending any quality time with you and his dad, it's probably physically not good for him. On the odd occasions my DS has been allowed to continuously use the tablet ( long journey etc) he gets a headache at night.
Thankfully, although DS is obsessed with his tablet, I've yet to experience tantrums upon being told to turn it off... He's also a bit bizarre in that he will TELL me that he is about to watch a video on YouTube that may be inappropriate, then tells me all the reasons it might be inappropriate by my standards (excessive swearing, usually) and says if it is, he will stop watching!
Think I've possibly talked to him a bit too much about what he should and shouldn't be watching, and why! Grin

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CassandraAusten · 22/05/2016 09:05

We don't have a hard and fast rule here, but as we have one iPad and three DC this naturally limits the time that any one of them can spend on it. Also they all do quite a few extra curricular activities, so again that ensures they spend time not on screens.

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CassandraAusten · 22/05/2016 09:06

Mine are 6, 8 and 10 btw.

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wigglesrock · 22/05/2016 09:18

I don't really have limits - they half maybe 30 mins freetime in the morning during the week before school - if they're up and dressed they can do what they want within that time - sometimes they'll play on a tablet. After school - they have homework, other bits and pieces to do, dinner, then they have time to do what they want before bed. Weekends we are usually out and about for most if them. If the weather is awful, if they're not in the mood for going outside they can watch a film, episodes of a tv show, use musical.ly, make short films, play Sonic dash, minecraft if they want.

I don't know but because I haven't made a really big thing about it - using the tablet is like reading, going out in their bike, playing with toys, drawing, calling for friends - a choice of what they might do in their spare time. We don't bring tablets with us if we go away for the day, go meet up with friends etc. My kids are 10 (almost 11), 8 and 5.

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DoreenLethal · 22/05/2016 09:22

Perhaps if you gave him a set time over a weekend [eg 10 hours over the weekend, and 2 hours each evening]. And every instance of mithering took 5 minutes off his next set time it might focus his mind a bit.

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TTwidow · 22/05/2016 15:16

It's true that he does use it for watching videos aswell. I think it's just the way they play and watch videos now. I like the idea of not having it in the morning, making it not the first thing they grab.

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