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Was DHs reaction unreasonable

(121 Posts)
CalibratedNellyphant Fri 20-May-16 19:07:52

My DH is currently away with work and will be until the end of june.
There is a field at the end of our back garden which the farmer who owned it sold us last year. We haven't decided what to do with it yet.
In order to cut the grass DH bought a ride on lawn mower. He spends quite a bit of time polishing it etc
He has never said that I can't use it but he has never offered to teach me how to use it and he is the only one who has driven it and he likes to be the only one to clean and maintain it.

So DS is due to go on his first camping trip with the beaver scouts in a few weeks. However he has started to get worried about sleeping in a tent so I thought we could practice this weekend in the field. However the grass in the field was really long as it hasn't been cut for ages. So I got the lawn mower out yesterday and I had cut about half the field when I hit something and the lawn mower rolled and I fell off it.

I landed awkwardly and my arm took most of the fall. I'm sure when I fell I heard it crack. I called a friend and he helped me sort the lawn mower out and then took me to hospital where I found out I have broken my arm.The lawn mower is muddy and has a little scratch but it seems totally fine.

So last night I skyped DH and told him I had accidentally crashed the mower and hurt myself. The first thing he said was does the lawn mower still work. I said yes. He then went into this big rant about how I shouldn't have touched his mower and if he gets home and its damaged he will be really cross with me because he has spent a lot of time getting it perfect and I spoilt it.
He carried on for at least 20 minutes and didn't ask about me once.

In the end I told him to calm down and I admit asked if he cared how I was. He huffed a bit and said it was my own stupid fault and he was allowed to be upset about the mower.
I said if he was going to sulk about the lawn mower then I was going to leave him to it and he left the conversation.

He texted me earlier on today to ask if we are Skypeing tonight. I'm still a bit annoyed that he hasn't apologised or asked how I am.
But then am I being unreasonable I do feel bad about the mower but it was an accident and its fine and I'd like to think that if it was the other way around I would ask him if he was ok first.

GraysAnalogy Fri 20-May-16 19:09:07

You've broken your arm and he's harping on about his sodding lawn mower?? I would be beyond furious. Tell him he can go kip with the bloody thing.

InanimateCarbonRod Fri 20-May-16 19:11:11

That's not a nice reaction op. My DH wouldn't give a shit about the lawnmower. Sorry. He was VVVU

NapQueen Fri 20-May-16 19:13:14

That was a twattish reaction! I would be really upset if dh had that reaction with me.

Hope you recover soon.

LittleMissBossyBoots Fri 20-May-16 19:14:05

I'd be taking the mower out and crashing it into the nearest tree then sending him photos of it's crumpled, smoking wreck.

Is he usually an insensitive, uncaring arse?

EmzDisco Fri 20-May-16 19:14:29

Does he know yet you've broken your arm? What a horrible reaction. You're right to be upset with him. Not as though you're a teenager larking about on it, you were trying to get a job done!

It's also not very useful having a shiny polished mower and overgrown grass. What's the point of that?!

KittyandTeal Fri 20-May-16 19:15:13

I'm afraid my response to his text would have been 'no, the pain meds for my BROKEN arm are making me too woozy to face a conversation with a dick'

That's really unkind. And unless he bought it with his own sodding money surely it's both yours!

Cocolepew Fri 20-May-16 19:16:02

Id take a hammer to it, give him something to moan about.

Daffodil90 Fri 20-May-16 19:17:55

YANBU id be fucking fuming.

A mower is a mower, a material thing that can be replaced. Your health and broken bones however are much more precious.

Sorry you're hurt OP flowers for you and a few wine !!

Peppapogstillonaloop Fri 20-May-16 19:18:01

Ridiculously unreasonable..does he even know your arm is broken? What a twit..i agree take a hammer to it and give him something to really cry about!

Pettywoman Fri 20-May-16 19:20:14

No, he is an arse for not asking about you, for not cutting the grass, for not letting you use the mower and for getting weird fixations about lawn mowers.

Hope you have a speedy recovery.

mygorgeousmilo Fri 20-May-16 19:20:17

I'd say errrrr no, but you can Skype with your fucking lawnmower! I'd also do a lot of passive aggressive talk about my broken arm, too! A broken arm is a big deal - and you're on your own with kids in the country. He's being a dick and YANBU

CalibratedNellyphant Fri 20-May-16 19:21:33

He knows I've broken my arm. He bought the mower with the family money as he said we would need one to cut the field so it was a family purchase.

Hidingtonothing Fri 20-May-16 19:22:39

I would reply 'no, I'm too upset by the fact that you didn't bother to ask if I was hurt (I've broken my arm btw) rather than ranting about your precious mower to want to talk to you. Skype me when you've worked out that your wife should take priority over a lawn mower.' Sorry he's been such a prick OP, hope you're not in too much pain flowers

gleam Fri 20-May-16 19:23:58

Sell the mower and buy a goat.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Fri 20-May-16 19:24:14

What a prick!

Tequilamockinbird Fri 20-May-16 19:24:38

YANBU, he is an arse.

LTB wink

fuzzywuzzy Fri 20-May-16 19:26:28

I cannot imagine DP giving a flying fuck about a stupid lawn mower in the same situation he'd be really worried about me.

I wouldn't even respond to his text

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn Fri 20-May-16 19:27:00

He is a fucking cockhead. I wouldn't be skyping him for a while actually. It's a sodding lawn mower not a classic sports car that he has lovingly restored that you took for a joyride!

CalibratedNellyphant Fri 20-May-16 19:27:41

Thank you I'm glad it's not just me. I was upset last night because he was just so cross about the mower.
He isn't usually this insensitive but he does have form when he is away with work for not really listening to me and downplaying my feelings when I tell him something has upset me or I have had a stressful day.
When he is home he is great but when he isn't here it's like he can't see that I'm upset or struggling.

TheHobbitMum Fri 20-May-16 19:30:26

He was/is being a dick! The mower is a machine that can be fixed if nessasary, I can't believe he didn't ask about you! My husband wouldn't give a flying fig about the mower and would be more concerned how I was sad

Nanny0gg Fri 20-May-16 19:31:12

Is your arm in a cast or a sling?

I would skype, sitting there in silence with my arm very prominently in front of the camera waiting till he realises what he's done.

Bailey101 Fri 20-May-16 19:31:43

I would Skype him tonight with the computer facing the mower and leave him too it. If he's so concerned about the mower, I'm sure he'd love a chance to ask it how it's feeling hmm

Cheby Fri 20-May-16 19:31:53

Jesus. He's an absolute twat. I wouldn't be speaking to him at all until I'd received a full grovelling apology. Hope your arm isn't too painful OP and that you've got some support to help you with DS at home while you're out of action for a bit.

MrsMushrooms Fri 20-May-16 19:35:01

What a prick!! YANBU at all, and I'm sorry that you've had to put up with that

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