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Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

(820 Posts)
fatandembarrassed Fri 20-May-16 09:20:29

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

BumWad Fri 20-May-16 09:22:38

Sorry but YABU. I wouldn't want a heavily pregnant woman hugging and puffing down the aisle if I was sat in business class especially as she hadn't even paid to be there.

NoCapes Fri 20-May-16 09:23:34

I'm sorry that you're upset and the flight attendant does sound rude
However, you really shouldn't have been in business class if you hadn't paid to be in business class

And tbh somebody slowly pacing up and down would be very disturbing and annoying on a flight, whether anyone showed it or not

silverduck Fri 20-May-16 09:23:52

Anyone that strays into the wrong area is going to be quickly evicted, it's part of how planes work, and yes, most people know that. You didn't and then someone told you, don't be too hard on yourself, it's not that big a deal.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 20-May-16 09:25:50

Actually I thought it would be fairly obvious that if you're an economy passenger you stay in the economy cabin, sorry op but yabu

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 20-May-16 09:26:21

I'm sorry you were embarrassed. The steward could have handled it a lot better but you were totally unreasonable to go into the business class section to walk up and down the aisle.

acasualobserver Fri 20-May-16 09:27:12

I suspect someone complained and the flight attendant was obliged to say something to you - he could have spoken in a kinder fashion though.

LurcioAgain Fri 20-May-16 09:27:28

You were not doing anything wrong. Pregnant or not, it is perfectly normal for people to get up to stretch their legs on long-haul flights.

I would complain to the airline (long-haul, so presumably a major carrier, not some cheap and nasty budget airline!) That's terrible behaviour from the flight attendant.

I had to fly to China about half way through my pregnancy. I must have spent half the flight pottering around gently at the back of the flight. None of the attendants batted an eyelid, and I remember one very nice fellow passenger clocking that I was pregnant and letting me jump the queue to go ahead of him for the toilet (surprised me because he was a very young man, and before then I would have guessed young men to be unwittingly oblivious about pregnancy). That's how things should be, not how you were treated.

SqueegyBeckinheim Fri 20-May-16 09:27:44

The way the flight attendant spoke to you was unecessarily rude. However you really aren't meant to wander into business or first if you're booked into economy, and I'm surprised you didn't know that. It's the flight attendants' job to to usher people back to economy if they leave.

I'd chalk it up to a rude (but technically correct ) flight attend and you being pregnant and uncomfortable and forget all about it.

RaeSkywalker Fri 20-May-16 09:28:08

I think you're BU for going into business class, sorry.

The flight attendant was rude but you were in the wrong.

ParanoidGynodroid Fri 20-May-16 09:28:15

OK, well others have said you shouldn't have been there, and that us very true. However, that does not excuse rudeness on the part of the attendant, so I'm not surprised you were upset.
A simple "I'm very sorry, you're not allowed in this area" would have sufficed.

LurcioAgain Fri 20-May-16 09:28:29

Sorry - missed the bit that it was the business class aisle - in that case, you were being unreasonable, I'm afraid.

Osolea Fri 20-May-16 09:28:56

I thought it was pretty much known that if you're on a plane with more than one class section that you stuck to the bit you'd paid to be in, so I don't think the air steward was unreasonable to ask you not to go into the business class section if your seat was in economy. The air stewards can't just let anyone wander about wherever they want, if everyone did it then it would be disturbing to those people who needed to be in business class for whatever reason.

He may have gone about telling you in a less than ideal way though, and I'm sorry you were upset.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 20-May-16 09:29:33

Lurcio actually she was doing something wrong. She was pacing in the business class cabin. She shouldn't have been in there.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 20-May-16 09:29:52


CoolforKittyCats Fri 20-May-16 09:30:33

Sorry but YABU.

Creampastry Fri 20-May-16 09:31:04

YABU - anyone gets evicted from the business class area unless you have paid for that seat.

massivearse Fri 20-May-16 09:32:04

No such fucking thing as live and let live these days is there.

The FA was a nob.

wickedlazy Fri 20-May-16 09:33:11

Agree the flight attendent was rude, and I would complain about how he handled it, but you shouldn't have been in the buisness class area without a business class ticket.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 20-May-16 09:33:34

Yes, I think you were wrong to stray from your section. It's obvious you can't use Business Class as a place to stretch your legs when you're booked into an economy seat. The attendant was brusque, but I presume someone had complained and he needed to be seen to be taking control of the situation.

Your ankle weren't going to swell less near the expensive seats.

CoraPirbright Fri 20-May-16 09:34:12

I think that the air steward was rude in the way in which he spoke to you but I think it would probably have been a bit annoying to have someone pacing up and down the aisle.

When I was preg and flying, I went into that bit where the crew load up the trolleys (obviously not when they were using it in any way - wouldn't have dreamt of getting in the way) and done some simple exercises there - marching on the spot, rotating ankles in turn etc. Completely out of sight and not in anyones way. Might be the way to go next time?

AppleSetsSail Fri 20-May-16 09:35:49

The attendant handled it badly, but you must surely know that the enforcement of this rule is hardly officious. I don't blame you for being embarrassed, but you kind of walked right into it.

timeforabrewnow Fri 20-May-16 09:36:17

Lordy lord - I didn't know you weren't allowed in business class aisle to walk up and down. I must be unworldly indeed.

TBH I don't think the OP was being unreasonable by walking up and down quietly. And how rude are the people on this thread, saying that she was 'huffing and puffing' - !! Really?

As rude as the silly cabin staff who could have put the rule in a much kinder way.

TimetohittheroadJack Fri 20-May-16 09:36:20

If you paid the (10x) economy price to be in business class you would be perfectly welcome to be there.

otherwise you stay in economy .

And it's nothing to do with the business class people being 'better' it's just they have paid more for a better service.

19lottie82 Fri 20-May-16 09:36:44

massivearse no such thing as "live and let live? WTF are you on about? hmm

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