Sorry for long story, will try to be brief. I am a second time poster, my first post was nearly 3 years ago after I received my father's texts. I was groping for a way to deal with them and the responses on here helped. Have been a devoted lurker ever since.
I grew up without knowing my father, or his name. I believed he never knew of my existence. I was eventually able to trace him and wrote to him. He agreed to meet me and we subsequently had lunch ten times or so, every other month.
My son was one year old at the time and I had decided not to return to work after maternity leave. As a single parent I was claiming benefits. It was my first break in employment since leaving school 20 years before.
During our lunches my father told me that he had met me as a baby and wondered if I was his. He said that, after my letter arrived in the post, his wife revealed she had always known about me. I asked him none of the hard questions I wanted to; I was treading softly.
My acquaintanceship with him ended when he texted me to say that his family did not want to meet me because both of his grown up children were buying houses and the stamp duty they paid was keeping me "without the inconvenience of getting your arse out of bed in the morning". He told me that I was not contributing and to come back to him when I had a job.
I got a full time job six weeks after my son started school, am still in it and enjoy it. My son is happy and thriving and we have a strong relationship with my mum and stepdad. Life is good, and I would like to put behind me what happened with my father, but after almost 3 years I still find myself mentally rehearsing my arguments against his position. AIBU?
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AIBU?
to be still having this argument in my head?
18 replies
LauderSyme · 20/05/2016 01:15
OP posts:
KateInKorea ·
20/05/2016 03:18
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EatShitDerek ·
20/05/2016 10:20
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