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AIBU about my (future)brother in law proposing to my (future) sister in law so close to my proposal?

(116 Posts)
TaliaTalksAlot84 Thu 19-May-16 18:28:06

I'll try to keep this short, as I tend to ramble.
My oh said last April that he'd booked for us to go away for our 10 year anniversary next March (this year) to Paris.
While their hed planned lots of activities and things to do (not like him at all) and (long story short) he very romantically proposed. This is the man that got me a new mop and bucket for valentines day haha. Turns out his entire family new since last April he was going to propose.
His sister has been with her oh 12 years.
We went for (his) family get together in April and her oh proposed in front of her family, not even 4 weeks after my oh proposed! While I am happy I'm annoyed too. My oh mum knew my bil was going to propose and he'd been planning to do it for an entire 4 weeks! I don't see why he couldn't of waited a bit longer. My oh mum then calls all the aunts etc to say my sil is engaged but didn't even mention my ohs engagement (those that don't have Facebook didn't know, one aunt that did said couldn't he of waited a bit not fair on Phil and talia).
We have booked to get married next may, my sil is looking at 2 weeks after or 3 weeks before our date, because her friends are getting married later in the year and she can't be so close to theirs! Her mum and dad agree.
1) being miffed
2) asking her to give us a bit more time between our weddings?

Vixxfacee Thu 19-May-16 18:28:54

Yabu it's up to them when they get engaged and married. It's not all about you.

StealthPolarBear Thu 19-May-16 18:29:14

What are you worried about

carabos Thu 19-May-16 18:30:12

This one's got threadthathaseverythingzilla written all over it.

Flisspaps Thu 19-May-16 18:30:14


TaliaTalksAlot84 Thu 19-May-16 18:30:20

Sorry it may my partner and his sisters get together

Coldtoeswarmheart Thu 19-May-16 18:30:33


Have you used your real names in your OP?

StealthPolarBear Thu 19-May-16 18:31:39

What does that mean? It may what?

YABU. Honestly. Take a deep breath and a grip because these people will be your family for the next fifty years.

Familyof3or4 Thu 19-May-16 18:32:07

Yabvu, I can't see why they should wait just because your dp told his family ages ago that he was going to propose

ThirstyNell Thu 19-May-16 18:32:58

You should all stop telling all the fammmley about your plans, and grow up. And not cool to name your Bil and Sil.

FeckinCrutches Thu 19-May-16 18:33:24

Get over yourself.

Pagwatch Thu 19-May-16 18:33:56


DailyFaily Thu 19-May-16 18:34:12

YABU. For all you know he might have been planning to propose for ages and your DP stole his thunder! I really don't see the issue with your weddings being 3 weeks apart confused

ScrambledSmegs Thu 19-May-16 18:34:32


NannawifeofBaldr Thu 19-May-16 18:34:59

Sorry you are soooooo unreasonable.

Your wedding is about you, it is important to you. For everyone else it's just a lovely way to spend a Saturday.

How long exactly did you think they should have waited between proposals? What would have been acceptable? 3 months, 6 months?

I mean this kindly- get a grip in yourself. A bridezilla is attractive to nobody.

Their wedding and yours are completely separate entities and nothing to do with each other.

NickiFury Thu 19-May-16 18:35:18

Dear me, you remind me of a friend of mine who cried and flounced off when I told her that we were going to the same destination as her on our honeymoon (18 months apart and I didn't even know she was going there) a mutual friend said "what's the problem? It's an Island, it's not like you're going to wear it out" i.e. My going there had no impact whatsoever on her going there, just like this proposal has no impact whatsoever on yours.

crabbiearses Thu 19-May-16 18:35:21

get a grip , you sound like a bridezilla self absorbed person already, maybe they just want to get engaged and dint feel they had to consider you.


boobtaper Thu 19-May-16 18:36:10

grow up. and boke at getting engaged in Paris

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 19-May-16 18:36:15


TaliaTalksAlot84 Thu 19-May-16 18:37:11

My issue is with the wedding being 3 weeks apart. His family live miles away so will have to pay for accommodation etc for her wedding then 3 weeks later ours or ours then theirs

Energumene Thu 19-May-16 18:37:13

YABU to be miffed about the timing of the proposal. That's his business, not yours. As for wedding timings, YANBU as it's just common sense that two weddings in the family three weeks apart has the potential to be a nightmare for organisation, attendance, competitive wedding planning, etc.

You're already upset they've stolen your thunder with the engagement. So I can't see you coping with their wedding three weeks after yours, and worrying that people will make unfavourable comparisons. But it's not a competition. I think you need to sit down with your in-laws and have a proper conversation about all this before you go much further.

GibbousHologram Thu 19-May-16 18:38:08


Backpfeifengesicht Thu 19-May-16 18:38:51

I sincerely hope you're a troll. If you're not then I feel for your fiance.

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