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To tell MIL that she uses us like a B&B (*rant*)

(17 Posts)
Shamoo37 Thu 19-May-16 16:28:07

This is the third time that she has come to stay with us and this time she brought a friend. She stays for 3 nights, gets up around 10.30am (after we have gone out), stays out for the whole day without inviting us to join her... eats out in the evening, without inviting us to join her... Then she comes home at 8pm and complains that she hasn't seen the grandchildren. Meanwhile dd gets upset that grandma hasn't come to her dancing/swimming etc etc. The one time I did insist that she come along she left halfway through the 25 minute ballet class to go to Boots to get her mobile top up. Growl. I invite her to join us for the day and ask her to come back in time for dinner but she wants to do her own thing. AIBU to tell her to check in to a B&B next time.

flanjabelle Thu 19-May-16 16:29:07


beccabanana Thu 19-May-16 16:32:55

She's either extremely rude or feels that she's trying to help by staying out of the way and not interfering with your everyday schedule. Have you said that the kids really want to see you? Maybe not bring a friend so they can enjoy time with nan? Or arranging a night out with her? If you have and she still carries in then YANBU in asking her not to bother coming again

KittensandKnitting Thu 19-May-16 16:35:41

She's complete UR you are not

She is treating you like a B&B... I can't believe she brings a "friend" is it a boyfriend/girlfriend?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 19-May-16 16:37:06

And if she was under your feet all day I imagine you'd moan about that too...

twilightcafe Thu 19-May-16 16:38:39

Sounds like the dream houseguest.

snorepatrol Thu 19-May-16 16:39:57

I'm sorry but this would be my ideal mil visit grin

KittensandKnitting Thu 19-May-16 16:40:53

After my initial post I actually started thinking i would LOVE this...

Shamoo37 Thu 19-May-16 16:46:33

Not at all DameD (well maybe a little) but I'd just like her to show some interest in the kids as they are desperate for her attention. Plus they give up their room for her. I wasn't fortunate enough to have grandparents and I would love my children to have a good relationship with her so I would put up with her under my feet and grumble quietly to myself.

Shamoo37 Thu 19-May-16 16:50:17 long as she didn't stay TOO long 😉

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 19-May-16 16:50:20

I think if you accept grandparents for who they are not what you'd like them to be then there would be fewer of these sorts of threads tbh.

Corialanusburt Thu 19-May-16 16:55:58

Is she not maternal? What does your DH say about his childhood with her?

I don't think you'll be able to make her show any more interest in the children so probably best to give up trying.

And for your own feelings of resentment probably best to have her to stay less regularly.

Rainuntilseptember Thu 19-May-16 16:58:13

For yourself I wouldn't bother, but I don't think it's kind to your dcs to have visits from someone they are excited about seeing, and then who so blatantly ignore them. It's easier just having her be far away.

EyeoftheStorm Thu 19-May-16 16:58:35

My MIL treats my house like a hotel when she comes robust so I treat her like a guest at a hotel.

Her loss.

EyeoftheStorm Thu 19-May-16 16:58:53

Robust? To stay

nobilityobliges Thu 19-May-16 17:02:46

Well it depends, are you inviting her to stay or does she just show up? why does she come in the first place? She must spend some time with you surely?

TeradelFuego Thu 19-May-16 17:19:37

Do you live somewhere quite touristy OP? Because otherwise what is she doing out all day? I would be unhappy too, for the sake of the DCs. Can you get your DP to have a word?

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