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ex husband

(17 Posts)
6demandingchildren Thu 19-May-16 15:44:55

After years of just looking in I have finally joined MN, so this is my first post so go easy on me, but I am so angry right now and have been for almost 2 weeks and I just need to have a huge rant.
I am 43 and second time married, first marriage was when i was 18 and it only last a few years and we had 2 children, second marriage is 20 years and we have 4 children but hubby has brought all 6 children up as his own due to the fact that ex was never interested in keeping regular contact, by this I mean no cards or letters and no phone calls, he moved all over and has now settled back in his hometown up north we are 250+ miles away down south.
Almost 2 weeks ago my eldest son who is 26 got attacked in Brighton, my son was out with 2 female friends and as he is gay they were at a gay nightclub and as they left my son saw a man who was being verbally agressive towards 2 younger males, my son calmly said to him "stop it as its not cool" and he got punched, he was unconsious and was taken to hospital by ambulance and they said he had a broken jaw.
I got called and drove to the hospital with my daughter, after I saw him i asked if i should contact the ex and was told no as son would be ok.
3 days later ex tagged me in one of his many weird facebook posts and i asked if he knew what had happened to aaron he came back with "he probably deserved it" i then went onto explain that he was doing what was right, and got back that "he is an idiot" he went on with other abuse against my son so i deleted and blocked him.
I only had him on facebook so that his family and him could keep up to date, he has written other stuff but i cant see it but was told by others.
how can anyone be so vile to their own flesh and blood.

ThatsMyStapler Thu 19-May-16 15:47:33

hey OP - you've outed yourself here by naming your son, and specific details

it might not bother you, but if it does - have a word with MN Admin x

6demandingchildren Thu 19-May-16 15:59:16

never mind my facebbok was open for the whole world to look at before i found the security setting
*still cringing at the photos that could of harmed any stalkers dreams*

TheFuckersBitingMe Thu 19-May-16 16:03:06

Your son sounds like a decent man, your ex sounds like an asshat.

I think it's easy to be glib online and say "you're better off without him" but in this case it really does sound like that's the case. He's contributed nothing towards raising his children and now dismisses one purely based on orientation? He's a dong. There'll come a time when he realises what he's lost. I wouldn't miss my children's lives for all the money and freedom in the world. Nor would anyone with a half-decent moral compass.

Cutecat78 Thu 19-May-16 16:05:14

Asshat grin

Goingtobeawesome Thu 19-May-16 16:07:17

Why would you inform a disinterested ex anything that happens to your son?

Is your son okay now?

ThatsMyStapler Thu 19-May-16 16:09:50

Your ex is a twat of the highest order - some people just are

just be there for your (very handsome) son

BillSykesDog Thu 19-May-16 16:11:56

That's absolutely horrendous. flowers

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 16:13:33

Sorry to hear what happened to your son, there was no need for that flowers

Your ex isn't very nice, to say those things about his Son

6demandingchildren Thu 19-May-16 16:14:54

I know im better off without him thats why I divorced him, i didnt want to be the bitchy ex wife thats why i never until this week told the children (adults) what he was really like but i was young and naive.
son is ok still in alot of pain and missing work but he is alive as it could of been so much worse.

6demandingchildren Thu 19-May-16 16:29:02

I am just so angry, hubby is very laid back about everything and his view is to ignore him as we never needed him and he said our son is the main priority.
but ex's comments have hurt as i dont know how he can be so vile

KittensandKnitting Thu 19-May-16 17:37:43

My father wasn't vile like this but was too "free spirited" to deal with a child, i wish he had left and never got back in touch seeing him once a year was just horrible as a kid, and heartbreaking when I realised he would never change - your kids have cut their father out of their life I'm not sure why you would have him in yours, I can't imagine my mum friending my dad on Facebook if he was alive its a bit crazy IMO. Why would you want to invite him into your life like that? He obviously is not even a remotely nice person smile this tagging business sounds bloody awful

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your son that is just awful I wish him a speedy recovery.

WinniePooh101 Thu 19-May-16 17:37:54

Firstly, so sorry to hear what happened to your so, hope he has a speedy recovery. He sounds like a decent upstanding guy, you and your second husband have obviously done a good job in raising him.

As for your first husband, you would hope that as he got older he would look back on mistakes made in his younger years and want to make amends, sadly that's the not case for everyone. Be thankful you divorced him after just a few years and met a better man. As your second husband has raised your first two children as his own in my book they are his children! Your first husband has to earn the respect of the children he walked out on and clearly he still can't be bothered or doesn't want to. Your eldest two children are no longer 'children', cut all contact with your waste of space first husband, don't keep him in the loop of their lives, leave it to them to contact him if they want.

WinniePooh101 Thu 19-May-16 17:38:30

OP that should have read 'so sorry to hear what happened to your son'

StableButDeluded Thu 19-May-16 17:50:10

but ex's comments have hurt as i dont know how he can be so vile
Because he just is. Some people are.
Don't let it get to you, he's not in the children's lives and you clearly have a great DH who has been, and continues to be, a good dad to them all. Listen to him, he has the right attitude. Don't waste anymore headspace on your ex.

6demandingchildren Thu 19-May-16 18:31:40

I funnily enough have him under "waste of space" in my phone.
Best delete him from there as well.
Actually feel better about this now thank you.

WinniePooh101 Thu 19-May-16 18:52:19

Good to hear OP x

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