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To have told these children off in the playground

(9 Posts)
Rabenmother Thu 19-May-16 13:12:07

I live in a small town in Germany, where it's quite usual for kids to be at the local playground on their own. I was with my DD1 (8) and toddler. DD1 found some girls she knew & went off to play. I was left minding DD2 and watching what else was going on.

There were some boys there on their own who I recognise from various places and they were being quite rough. I started paying more attention then realised that two of the boys had ganged up on a third boy. The third one is in DD1's school class, and she has said that he has no friends & that people are mean to him.

I hadn't caught who started it, but I saw that the unpopular boy was trying to spit at the other two, who were by now on the two swings. The two then decided they should swing higher, so that when they spat they would have a higher chance of landing a bullseye. At this point I intervened & said in my best German to the boy I know better (who was on the swing) that I didn't think what they were doing was very nice and they should stop. It did work to some extent (they moved on to sticks, but that was more fair & less disgusting, in any case) but it just bothered me.

My questions are: I don't know anything about boys, so was I right to have said something? (I guess in the UK the parents would also usually be around, so this might not arise?)
Is there anything more I should do? Is it my duty to speak to the mother of the boy I know better?
What else could I/ should I do to help this poor boy? I don't know his mother at all, but, I know his teacher.

SnookieSnooks Thu 19-May-16 15:36:45

In my experience of living in Germany, Germans are more likely to get involved. I didn't have DCsnin those days but I often had complete strangers remonstrating with me eg when I was out running, I would get people telling me it was too hot to run. What part of Germany are you in? I lived in NOrdrhein Westfalen - this may not apply to other parts.

KatharinaRosalie Thu 19-May-16 15:43:32

Not unreasonable and I agree, Germans are happy to get involved and tell other people's kids off in similar situations.

Katedotness1963 Thu 19-May-16 15:43:35

You did the right thing to put a stop to it. In the part of Germany we're in the locals are quite interfering when it comes to other people's kids. My son as stopped on his way to the ubahn and questioned about where he was going and why. His friend was stopped and made to turn out his pockets, and asked if he was on drink or drugs! The boys were 14/15 at the time, (different occasions) and not stopped by the police, just people walking by.

TheWitTank Thu 19-May-16 15:46:24

I would and have got involved in the playground before when I have witnessed bullying. The girls involved were probably about 8-10 years old and they were all ganging up and being nasty to another girl who has been singled out. The girl was really quiet and Judy stood there looking on the verge of tears while the group giggled and made spiteful comments. I don't think they realised I could hear as I was behind them pushing my son on a swing, so they looked a bit shocked when I walked over and calmly asked them what they thought they were doing and if their parents knew they were nasty bullies? I didn't shout, but I do have a good death stare and stern calm voice. They all were visibly shaken by me saying something, were silent and tearful and left, presumably to go home. I asked the little girl if she was okay and she said she was and went off home. I will never hesitate to step in if I witness stuff like this, especially if no parents are present (if they are I'm more likely to tell them first). I hate bullying, it ruins so many lives.

ABitCrapReally Thu 19-May-16 16:12:22

YANBU spitting is disgusting. I tell full grown adults who are bigger than me just how disgusting they are.

GreenBeans17 Thu 19-May-16 16:14:43

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FuriousFate Thu 19-May-16 16:23:15

Well done for stepping in. I intervened in a similar situation with an abusive nanny once. We are part of a large expat community and it was me (British) and my German friend who stepped up. I was actually ashamed of some of my other friends who tried to ignore what was going on. The world needs more people who stand up for what is right.

Rabenmother Fri 20-May-16 06:12:21

Thanks folks. I'm in Bavaria where I haven't noticed too much interference to be honest, but people certainly aren't shy....

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