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Male friend taking liberties

(3 Posts)
AngryTigress Thu 19-May-16 10:59:29

NC for this but if you recognise, just pretend you don't please.

Ok, so I have a DP, not great relationship but we are trying to make it work.

A good friend of mine, let's call him S is always telling me he loves me and suchlike. Trying to get me to meet up without DD. (Even once asking when she's in school so we could meet up - not happening).

So we had a pretty rough day yesterday and last night DD and myself were up most of the night. (Just to put in perspective, I have a Fitbit, logs sleeping and between 11:45pm and 4:41am it logged me awake 9 times and restless 16 times!).

My DF came over this morning to see if I needed help after DP went to work. So I asked him to watch DD whilst I went to the shop for supplies and to the laundrette (she was sick last night - a lot).

So S was asking how I was doing, I explained that been up all night, was nipping to shop and such (which I did within 30mins). He came out with 'if I wasn't working we could have met up whilst your dad has DD! That's a shame'.

I didn't even want to stay out that long! so my DF is going to pick up my washing later!.

AIBU to be annoyed?

Why on earth when my DD is poorly and needs me, when we have been up ALL night would I want to meet up with him?.

Am I being naive? I mean, why would I want to leave my DF with my poorly DD to go meet with him?.

I sent a message back saying 'DD is poorly, I'm only going out because I need supplies and get washing done'.


CrazyDuchess Thu 19-May-16 11:07:25

Have you been explicit with your friend that you dislike the attention??

Ginkypig Thu 19-May-16 11:18:32

You need to make it clear what you see this friendship as ie your boundaries etc.

It depends your in the situation so you can feel the vibes and I cant.

A friend wanting to meet without kids around sometimes imo I'd not weird as it give the friendship some adult time not in a rude way

like I say it depends on how it feels when he asks as I get the impression you think he is trying to get you alone because he is attracted to you which obviously very different to a friend just wanting some uncensored time with a friend.

If you feel like he is trying to be inappropriate rather than be your genuine friend then you need to be clear and lay down that he is making you unhappy which in itself is killing the friendship.

My real feelings though are you don't feel much like he is a friend and he is adding pressure to an already complicated life due to dp (sorry your having a rough) time so I'd be inclined to walk away.

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