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To ask a simple question..

(20 Posts)
DiddysMammy Wed 18-May-16 17:17:26

So hubbies cousin is getting married in September and we received the invitation this morning..

It is to only hubby and I and not our DD who will be 20 months by then.. I said to hubby that I will email the B2B and ask if it is just us or if they meant our DD too & he said not to as it will be awkward if they say no.

I argued it will be more awkward if we turn up with her and she wasn't invited or if we arrange a sitter and she could have come.

AIBU or am I making sense?

ChocolateJam Wed 18-May-16 17:18:33

I would ask B2B's mum if that's possible - less chance of embarrassment all round.

Iliketeaagain Wed 18-May-16 17:19:07

YANBU - double check. Wedding may be child free. Any weddings my dd has been invited to, her name has been on he invitatation with ours.

TeaBelle Wed 18-May-16 17:20:14

I think you need to phrase your email carefully - 'just checking it's just the two of us as looking at romantic hotels and fleeting excited about a night's sleep!' kind of tone, as it would be easier for them to reply either way

WorraLiberty Wed 18-May-16 17:20:23

It's only an email to clarify so I can't see it being embarrassing.

Just make sure you word it well, so it doesn't sound like you're offended.

EponasWildDaughter Wed 18-May-16 17:23:35

Double check. Just cheerfully ask if she can clarify if it's child free. It's no big deal.

It can't be that embarrassing to have to say yes if that's what she and the groom want surely.

Kids were all invited included in the numbers at me and DHs wedding. But i had a couple of people have to check as i'd stupidly put only the names of adult on all the invites blush

EponasWildDaughter Wed 18-May-16 17:24:42

Will you both still go if it is child free OP? <nosey>

ollieplimsoles Wed 18-May-16 17:26:39

I hmm, I really cant see any problem with asking them op, is it far for you to travel?

KittensandKnitting Wed 18-May-16 17:29:50

Could say something like

" Hi B2B,

Thank you so much for your wedding invite <we will formally rsvp> but we are very much looking forward to celebrating your happy day with you!

Just like to confirm if you are having a child free wedding? Would love to bring DC but equally love to enjoy your wedding just the two of us"

Assuming you a happy to do either or smile

If it is child free, she will say if not she will say please do bring DC...

KittensandKnitting Wed 18-May-16 17:31:30

Personally I'd arrange a sitter so you can have some time to let your hair down smile

crazywriter Wed 18-May-16 17:32:00

YANBU to ask. Just do it in a just checking way.

I couldn't remember what my friend had said to me about kids at his wedding so text him for a reminder. Nobody felt awkward.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 18-May-16 17:32:24

Send a friendly email and see if DD is included

DiddysMammy Wed 18-May-16 17:45:32

If DD isn't invited then I won't go.. The only person I trust to mind her is my mum and to be fair it's a Friday wedding so mum would need tot take the day off work.. It's a local wedding so I may go to the reception.

DiddysMammy Wed 18-May-16 17:46:49

I've emailed her.. Their kids came to our wedding so it's only fair to ask I guess.

DoreenLethal Wed 18-May-16 18:07:44

Can you not pick up the phone and ask?

Brionius Wed 18-May-16 18:16:27

I'm organising a wedding right now. And I can tell you she isn't invited! They'd have put her on the invite if she was. And just be a bit careful about asking, if you do, because our wedding is child-lite (at the request of most of our friends who are parents- we have family babies and nieces etc) but I've received several 'just wondering if my baby is invited' and 'I think I might bring my precious to the ceremony but not the reception' and after three I started to get a bit annoyed. If they're not on the invite they're not invited! Why is it even a query?!
Sorry, I sound like a right miserable old cow. Weddings suck. I've had a similar thing with random boyfriends/girlfriends of people we've never met. No I haven't invited your boyfriend of two months.
I think I need some wine.

DiddysMammy Wed 18-May-16 18:54:54

Stupidly I don't have a contact number for her or I would have called BUT she has emailed me back to say that my DD is invited they just forgot to put her on the invite.. To be fair I forgot to send my sister an invite to my wedding.. I know the stress. Especially with a family like my husbands!!

redexpat Wed 18-May-16 19:49:57

Wow a wedding aibu solved by communication! Is that a MN first?

crazywriter Thu 19-May-16 17:40:59

Glad it's sorted. Didn't think there'd be a problem asking. I forgot my sister too with ours. She got one of our spare invites because she wanted to keep it but had originally said she didn't care because she knew she was invited anyway.

Brionius it's not always the case. A friend of mine and DH cousin only out our names and not the kids on their invites but made it clear after that kids were invited. They just assumed everyone would guess that they meant the whole family because the invite didnt say "no kids" but got a lot of questions because of their assumption. No point getting annoyed that people are asking. When wedding are no kid events most people put that down to make it clear now.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Thu 19-May-16 17:46:15

Nice work OP, hope you all enjoy the wedding.

<Now waiting to see how many people post with advice, not having RTFT.>

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