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AIBU?

Would I be unreasonable to go to a&e?

152 replies

flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 14:50

If I would, please please don't flame me as I am laying here in tears because I don't know how to cope anymore.

I have lower lumbar pain that has been becoming more and more severe over the last year. I have received appalling care including fuck ups meaning I have been discharged from physio accidentally, putting me back at the start of the process, only to be told physio won't help me anyway (after waiting for another referral and seeing them again). The gp fobbed me off for months before finally ordering an x ray and blood tests to look for rheumatoid arthritis and any other auto immune diseases that would be attacking the spinal area. I am waiting on the results.

Back to now. I have barely slept for two weeks due to the pain. I am on co-codamol 30/500 and gabapentin which do not take my pain away. I wake more than 20 times through the night, cannot get comfortable in any position. I am in constant pain through the day and am at the point of breaking down. I have a 2 year old. How the fuck am I supposed to parent like this?

My gp has fucked up again. He has told me that they have exhausted their options so I need to go to the pain management clinic, but then forgot to order the referral. I have asked again and again and today they have admitted that it was only just sent through.

I am at breaking point. I can't get out of pain. I can't sleep. I can't parent a toddler. It feels like someone is squeezing my spine with a vice. I don't know what to do.

If iabu to go to a and e, what am I supposed to do? I have coped and coped and I can't cope any more.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 14:54

I also have pain down my left leg that is getting worse and worse. I don't know what to do.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/05/2016 14:55

To be honest I doubt a&e would do anything. They would tell you to see your GP.

I do sympathise, I am in frequent agony myself with a bad back. I did once go to a&e with it, on a Sunday when the gP was shut as it deteriorated suddenly to the extent I couldn't sit and I couldn't walk. I was actually admitted for a week for morphine and an MRI but they didn't do anything/couldn't find anything wrong. Pain improved and I was discharged.

But I would say that you need to go back to the gP. Have they tried you on amyltriptelene? It's good for nerve pain? Have they done an MRI referral?

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SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 18/05/2016 14:55

I don't know if A&E is the most appropriate place for you, but you need to access help somehow. Your GP sounds completely useless! He "forgot" to order the referral?! That is appalling. Can you ring a different GP for an emergency appointment?

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Wheresthattomoibabber · 18/05/2016 14:56

You poor thing. I am currently off work with a herniated disc and although the pain is bad it is nothing like you are describing. I have no helpful advice but wanted to offer you a gentle hand hold. Back pain is hell.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/05/2016 14:57

Pain down the leg sounds like sciatica from a pinched nerve. But you won't generally get one from attending a&e. Unless they think you're bad enough to need admitting and then you would get an inpatient MRI rather than waiting for an outpatient one.

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ItWasNeverASkirt · 18/05/2016 14:57

No, YANBU. You obviously need pain relief badly and aren't getting help through other channels. I realise it isn't ideal to go to A&E for everything but this is clearly an emergency and you need help and haven't got it through the other channels you've been pursuing.

Do you have somebody you can leave your little one with while you go, or will you have to take them with you?

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 14:57

I have lost all confidence in my gp. He has had me sobbing and sobbing because of the pain and refuses to order an mri. He finally ordered the xray to shut me up I think. How can they just leave me like this. I live alone with my daughter. I have a dp but he doesn't live with us. It is getting to a point that I'm not fit to parent and I'm scared. I just want to be out of pain, I can't remember the last time I wasn't in pain and it's breaking me down.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 14:59

The leg pain was originally down the front of the leg so he said it was a trapped femoral nerve. But now it's more on the outside of the leg. I'm really not doing very well today. I'm just so tired and tearful. I need to get dd up from her nap and I just feel incapable of being a decent parent. I'm so fucking tired and it just feels like too much to cope with today.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/05/2016 14:59

And physios do help! Mine is a god send.

Can you afford to pay to see a physio? Even if it's only one appt to get seen, get shown some exercises to help, they will often quickly have a good idea of what's wrong. Mine told me within two minutes of walking through the door what was wrong when months of different spinal consultsnts hadn't known.

Ibuprofen is good as well as its a good anti inflammatory. And hot water bottles.

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Wheresthattomoibabber · 18/05/2016 15:00

Are you experiencing any continence problems?

Can you get anyone to help with DD?

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Marthacliffscumbag · 18/05/2016 15:00

My mother is currently going through the same thing, she has been in this agonising pain since January when it came on out of the blue. She is finally having an mri scan tomorrow, like you she has been unable to sleep and spends all night alternately pacing the floor and sitting with a hot water bottle. The treatment she has received has been diabolical, excruciating physio when she doesn't even have a diagnosis, shoulder shrugging and prescriptions for near lethal doses of codeine, we are hoping the mri shows some disc damage that can be sorted with an op, she cannot continue to live in this pain and it has taken a real toll on her mental and physical health.
I'm sad to say that a&e will do nothing but probably prescribe you some different painkillers, they will have your medical history, to them it's not an accident or an emergency.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/05/2016 15:00

Can you see a different gP? No way should he refuse an MRI when you have nerve pain!

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:01

If I go to a and e, dp will want to come with me and dd can go to my mums for the night. But if everyone says they won't help me then I can't bring myself to go because to be turned away will break me. Another rejection when I am begging for help is too much.

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Goingthedistance · 18/05/2016 15:01

Is there an urgent care centre that you can go to? Quite a few hospitals have them as an extension of a&e. It is much like an emergency surgery appointment and you will be seen by a GP.

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Wheresthattomoibabber · 18/05/2016 15:02

I think ice is recommended more than heat as it reduces inflammation. I've certainly found ice packs tto be helpful. Are you able to go swinning? Just to take the weight off everything.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:02

Sorry I am trying to just breathe and take in what you are saying but I'm so upset.

No continence problems.

The physios said they couldnt help me because the exercises were making me worse.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:03

I was told to stop exercise by the physios until they know what is causing the pain. No running, no swimming, nothing.

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Marthacliffscumbag · 18/05/2016 15:05

The x Ray isn't worth your time, you need an mri asap, is there anyway you can get one done privately? An mri will show everything that is going on but the x Ray can't see muscle/tissue etc. the physio did nothing for my mum, she attended 6 sessions of excruciating pain and he ended up writing a report for her gp to say there was no improvement. In my opinion he should not have touched her until he knew what was wrong and what was causing the pain.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 18/05/2016 15:05

do you think it's that bad that you could do with being admitted for pain control? If so then maybe it is worth going and telling them that? If you got admitted you might get an MRI. But if it's not bad enough to be admitted they won't do an MRI and will tell to see your GP.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:06

To go through the list, I have been tried on amitriptaline, naproxen, Co codamol, Co dydramol, gabapentin by gp. I have tried ibuprofen, voltarol patches, heat patches, ice, hot water bottles, hot baths, cold baths, I have 6 pillows in the bed to try and support my body. I can't get out of pain.

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ExConstance · 18/05/2016 15:06

Just thinking A&E might give you some Tramadol or morphine to help - I'd go, they can't be less sympathetic than your GP ( who needs to be changed pronto)

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hollinhurst84 · 18/05/2016 15:06

You need a physio. A&E (from past experience) won't do much except check for limb/life threatening and send you away
Cocodamol doesn't touch me, try paramol (over the counter) as its dihydrocodeine

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:07

I can't afford private health care.

I don't know what classes as bad enough to be admitted. All I know is that I can't stop crying and I'm so tired. I am so tired of being in pain. I'm so tired of being a shit mum because I'm so tired and in pain. I'm so tired of not living like a normal person because of pain. I just want it to stop before I have a break down.

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flanjabelle · 18/05/2016 15:08

I have tramadol but I can't take it if I'm alone with dd, it's not safe. Sorry I missed it off the list. It doesn't take the pain away I just get drugged up.

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IceMaiden73 · 18/05/2016 15:10

I agree that A&E is not the best place for you

Is there another GP at the practice you can see?

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