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To be annoyed by this co-worker tearing my paper?

(19 Posts)
susanketty Tue 17-May-16 18:40:57

This may well be a small thing, but it annoyed me today. I don't usually read a daily newspaper but I do subscribe to the Economist and tend to read it throughout the week, I am not interested in the business/finance sections really but i just don't have time to read a paper every day. One co-worker seems to have taken offense to this for some reason, whenever i read the paper during lunch, she comes over and makes comments, along the lines of 'oh you think you are better / more intelligent' etc. I really never have understood this but she seems to think that I am reading this to show off to people at work, if this kind of thing 'impresses' people, I don't know. This alone I think it pretty unacceptable on her part but perhaps this is just her way of making a joke, whatever.

Anyway, today, I left the magazine on the table while I went to get a drink, and when I returned it had been ripped in half and half of the paper was in the bin. My co-worker was in the room and sniggering a few tables across but I don't know for sure that she did this. In any case, the paper was essentially unreadable and I had to bin the rest.

I know that this is a small thing, but would I be unreasonable to bring this up with her or with management? Maybe I should just stop reading this a work?

ReturnOfTheJewel Tue 17-May-16 18:43:54

Fucking hell shock YANBU in the slightest to bring this up with management, she damaged your personal property deliberately!

JassyRadlett Tue 17-May-16 18:45:59

I'd bring it up, definitely. In combination with the having a go at you for reading it, it comes across as bullying. Very unpleasant behaviour (and the person involved sounds like they have a massive inferiority complex).

I'd raise it with her first - 'I know you have some weird issue with the sort of magazines I like to read because of your comments, and I couldn't help but notice you were very amused to see someone had destroyed my latest copy. Was it you? If not, can you tell me who it was?'

If she owns up, ask her for the cash to replace it, and politely suggest she work through whatever issues are triggered by seeing a colleague reading a periodical about current affairs.

Cakedoesntjudge Tue 17-May-16 18:46:32

When I saw the title I thought I was going to think yabu but yanbu at all to be annoyed! Her behaviour in general about it is childish and clearly shows her own insecurities, I would Discuss with her that you don't appreciate her comments about your reading material and if it carries on you will report her as you find it tiresome to listen to.

However, I wouldn't accuse her specifically of ripping the paper, either to her face or management as you have no proof.

For the record, I would make a point of reading it more Rather than less at work - but then I am too stubborn for my own good!!

puddlejumpingqueen Tue 17-May-16 18:46:54

Oh wow, someone has a giant chip on her shoulder! (Her not you obviously). If she asked again if you think your better than her I would have to bite my tongue very hard not to simply reply yes!

puddlejumpingqueen Tue 17-May-16 18:47:22

*you're!

iwantavuvezela Tue 17-May-16 18:50:14

I can send you a heap of London review of books to wind her up!

Tiggeryoubastard Tue 17-May-16 18:52:11

Take her crayons away next time she gets out the Sun. grin

iklboo Tue 17-May-16 18:55:33

Give her some salt & vinegar to go with that massive chip on her shoulder. Or next time she's reading something ask her if she'd like a grown up to help her with the big words.

Seriously though, this is bullying & undermining behaviour and you shouldn't have to put up with it. Though I'll give you even odds she'll bleat 'it was just a joke. Can't you take a joke?' if she's pulled up on it.

monkeywithacowface Tue 17-May-16 18:57:56

Buy a peppa pig magazine and pop it in front of her at lunch time, tell her to give you a shout if she gets stuck on any of the big words

susanketty Tue 17-May-16 19:03:52

I'm glad to know you think I am not being unreasonable here. It's a difficult situation as I did not actually see her rip the magazine (although someone evidently did), and the other comments may be made written off as a joke and, as has been pointed out above, i could be painted as 'not being able to take a joke'. I'm not sure what the problem is really, she comments that i should be working in a London law firm or something - 'oh, shouldn't you be in an investment banking office in Kensington?'

She does read the Sun or the Daily Mail, but I have never judged her for this and I have no intention of doing so.

Thank you for the LRB offer, I actually subscribe to this already and have read this occasionally at work too. Again, with this one, I get some comments from her that I must be desperate with something so 'long and boring'

I may bring this up with my manager tomorrow as I'm not sure that bringing it up with her directly will help in any way, but I am still having a think about the best thing to do as I don't want this to become a weekly occurrence.

BYOSnowman Tue 17-May-16 19:16:53

You don't find many investment banks in Kensington!

Do you have to spend much time with her/speak to her? If not and it is just this I would just ask her why she feels the need to mention it every day when she has already made her feelings on your reading matter clear but you don't really understand why it makes her feel insecure

Any other colleagues commented either way?

MrMainwaringsWife Tue 17-May-16 19:20:10

Definitely speak to your boss
You shouldn't be spoken to like that

DeadGood Tue 17-May-16 19:25:06

JessyRadlett is spot on

leelu66 Tue 17-May-16 19:27:33

She does read the Sun or the Daily Mail, but I have never judged her for this

I'm judging her grin

Please complain or she become emboldened.

Arkhamasylum Tue 17-May-16 19:37:59

I don't understand the joke. It sounds like playground bullying.

I would mention the fact that your property was destroyed to management. It's completely unacceptable.

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 17-May-16 19:43:08

Honestly, log it with your manager. Stuff like this has a nasty way of building up and up and you will want a record if the bullying behaviour escalates.
Papers aren't cheap - if she did this to a £3 paperback book how would you feel? It's no different.

Purplepicnic Tue 17-May-16 19:43:38

politely suggest she work through whatever issues are triggered by seeing a colleague reading a periodical about current affairs

Beautifully and witheringly put. Bravo!

Kit30 Tue 17-May-16 19:53:52

Take it up with your boss. Don't confront her or it'll turn into 'you said/she said' slanging match. Be calm and think about what you'll say toyour boss before you say it about ghis bullying and unacceptable behaviour by your colleague. Do mention the destruction. If your magazine and that someone else saw this. A good boss will handle this diplomatically and decisively. If she comes back out you because you've complained, she'll be digging a bigger hole for herself.Good luck
BTW are you the only one she targets?

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