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To be SO scared?

(43 Posts)
BoopTheSnoot Mon 16-May-16 22:39:03

I'm 40+6 and in early labour with DC2. As I'm sitting here bouncing away on my birthing ball, I keep getting so emotional.
What if my DS (22 months) feels left out by the baby? What if he hates me for bringing about such a change in his life? What if I don't love this baby as much as I love DS?
DH thinks I'm losing it, sat here sobbing over these things but I can't help it.
Is this normal or have I finally snapped?!

EveryoneElsie Mon 16-May-16 22:42:28

DH thinks I'm losing it,

Get the midwife to kick him out the room or tell him to STFU. You're in labour, you are officially allowed to be slightly loony from this point onwards.
You can cry over anything you like.
You can have totally irrational fears. Its completely normal.

Good luck with the birth flowers

Looly71 Mon 16-May-16 22:43:10

Absolutely normal. Good luck my lovely flowers

ReturnOfTheJewel Mon 16-May-16 22:45:10

I think we've all been there.

When I was in labour with DD, I took a break from bouncing on the ball and woke DS (then 18mths) to tell him I was sorry...

DD is now 9 weeks and DS thinks she's wonderful.

Honestly you'll be fine, and best of luck with the labour xx

WLmum Mon 16-May-16 22:47:26

Totally normal. And trust me when I say it will all be fine - you will love this baby just as much as ds even though you don't think it's possible - a mothers love is magic don't forget. Yes ds's life is about to change but for the better. He'll get a playmate who will be loads of fun but also challenge him in a way only siblings can helping to prepare him for all life might throw at him.
Hope all goes well for you tonight.
Don't forget to celebrate your amazingness!

BoopTheSnoot Mon 16-May-16 22:49:20

Thank you. It's daft things- it occurred to me that if I'd known that today would be mine and DS' last lunch together, just us two, I'd have made something more special than sandwiches. I feel so guilty that his life is about to change dramatically.
He's been extra cuddly today which hasn't helped the old emotions.
HORMONES
Thanks for all your kind wishes. Very nervous, difficult delivery last time.

SovietKitsch Mon 16-May-16 22:49:36

Don't bounce on the ball, do circular hip motions - that's what'll get the head down...

Haudyerwheesht Mon 16-May-16 22:51:00

Totally normal.

My dc are 9 and nearly 6 now and I can't believe I thought I might not love Dd. She's everything just like ds.

but

I'm going to come out and say that with dc2 (Dd) I didn't get the same incredible rush of love straight away like I did with ds. In retrospect I think it's because I was subconsciously feeling disloyal to ds which is stupid. Anyways my point is it is ok not to fall head over heels straight away and doesn't mean you'll never bond.

I love both my kids to an extent I never understood pre children and it's definitely been a good thing for each of them to have a sibling even when they fight .

Your ds might be jealous sometimes or might regress a bit of he might take it all in his stride - it's fine whatever he does. You just need to take every day as it comes.

Good luck!!!!

WellErrr Mon 16-May-16 22:54:29

21 months between mine and I felt just the same.
There was no need to worry - they are best friends and a sibling is the best gift they've ever had.

You'll be fine. Just keep bouncing flowers

BeauGlacons Mon 16-May-16 22:54:50

Your first baby is a miracle. Your second baby is awesome. The miracle is how your first has grown so much bigger than a little baby.

The other miracle is that when the baby comes you don't have to stretch the live you have already, you get a massive big dollop of extra love bigger than anything you ever imagined.

Good luck; when you can't post you're in proper established labour and grin

FuzzyOwl Mon 16-May-16 22:56:03

Good luck. Hope it all goes well. flowers

Haudyerwheesht Mon 16-May-16 22:57:37

Also when your new baby is here your toddler will suddenly seem ENORMOUS and freakishly large and out of proportion.

NeverbuytheDailyMail Mon 16-May-16 23:02:13

I felt all the same feelings you are having! I was so guilty and genuinely thought i was ruining my PFB's life. Honestly though - I look at them together now and I'm so happy that he has a little sister who adores him. They make each other laugh, they play together and when I pick him up from school she runs to him for hugs. Now if I imagine them without one another it makes me so sad.

tabulahrasa Mon 16-May-16 23:02:16

I changed my mind about having a second child while in labour...it's ok, it went away after, lol.

But yeah, I was there going, what am I doing? I don't want another one, what will I do with it? And other such panicky nonsense.

I think it's just labour that does it.

BoopTheSnoot Mon 16-May-16 23:02:53

I've sent DH to bed and will get him up as and when it's time to go to hospital. If he had continued to ask if I was ok during every contraction I really would have lost it!

AnotherPrickInTheWall Mon 16-May-16 23:07:39

Perfectly normal.
I cried at the sight of people holding hands, old dogs just about everything.
All the best to you and your little family.

scrappydappydoo Mon 16-May-16 23:07:50

I remember when I was at the beginning stages of labour with dd2 - sitting holding dd1 who was 22 mths and sobbing - thinking what have I done?? Have I ruined our family?? 8 yrs on my girls are really good friends and love each other to bits ( with the odd argument!) No regrets at all.
It will be fine. This is normal. Your dc2 will be gorgeous. You will find the first few months tricky as you adjust to two but you'll work it out. (and mumsnet is here for when you can't)

PacificDogwod Mon 16-May-16 23:10:41

Every baby arrives with its own portion of love - corny, but true: you will love this baby as much.
And your DS will grow up not remembering a time without his sibling.

Good luck - hopefully you will be sniffing a gorgeous newborn head v soon.

BertieBotts Mon 16-May-16 23:12:54

Oh bless you. I'm sure it's the hormones and it will be fine!

Don't worry about the last lunch. Soon it will be the first time he meets his brother or sister.

Fingers crossed for you. I'm sure that the midwives will be on top of making sure things don't go the way of the last birth AND second births are usually easier (so I have heard.)

kipperydippery Mon 16-May-16 23:13:30

Sounds totally normal. 15mo between my 2 DC. I felt exactly the same. Labour & hormones doing their magical thing.

All you can do is go with it, & look forward to snuggling your new baby.

You are in my thoughts xx

herethereandeverywhere Mon 16-May-16 23:15:57

I felt exactly like that as I took DD1 out of the bath on the night before my ELCS with DD2. It was the last time she'd ever be the sole centre of my love.

4 years on and I watch DD1 help DD2 into her jacket, listen to their funny conversations, see them playing happily together for hours on end and I realise I was being silly. The greatest gift I'll ever give DD1 was DD2.

You'll be fine. X

AnotherStitchInTime Mon 16-May-16 23:17:08

Dd1 loves her little sister.

Dd2 loves her little brother. She was 22 months when he was born and I was in hospital for two months prior so she really missed her mummy.

They are 6, 4 and 2 now and have so much fun together.

Give him lots of tlc while the baby naps, newborns sleep a lot.

Get a sling if you haven't got one already. My younger 2 just had to come along to playgroups, playgrounds, parks in the sling. I got very good at helping the older ones one handed whilst breastfeeding baby in a sling.

Now stop worrying and focus on the now and your needs. A relaxed you makes for an easier labour. Go with your body, it will be fine.

Good luck thanks

Iamnotaplastichag Mon 16-May-16 23:23:34

Haudyerwheesht (love it!) - totally agree with this. I had a VERY delayed bonding with DD2 but my it did come. Seeing the 2 of them together now truly is THE BEST THING. But there were some tricky times in the beginning. Don't feel bad for the complex, tricky feelings and enjoy the lovely times flowers

Kelpie78 Mon 16-May-16 23:28:28

I always think that love multiplies rather than divides. My 3yo adores his 10 wk old sister, I was so worried about him and he has taken it all in his stride. Good luck.

Osolea Mon 16-May-16 23:29:08

Just another one adding to the chorus of, it's normal and you and your ds and your family will all be ok flowers

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