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Still extraordinarily tired single mum... and so sensitive-help!

(23 Posts)
princessbeer Mon 16-May-16 19:30:35

Evening all
Posted a thread last week which I can't link about my ex & his lack of effort with DD age 3. And me being completely knackered.
Dd & me had a fab weekend and today she was with her dad for half the day. He dropped her off & at bedtime she announced she wants to go & live with daddy 'forever & ever' & he's buying a big house for them to live in.
I know she's 3! I know I'm being totally oversensitive but shiiiiiiiit that hurt. I tried to explain that we both love her & nothing is going to change at the moment & she's got two homes etc but part of me felt so gutted that she said that (mostly due to his consistent lack of interest in her) - AIBU to feel really sad
Please someone reassure me that kids say stuff they don't mean. I'm going to pour myself a glass of vino.

WhoseBadgerIsThis Mon 16-May-16 19:34:39

Kids DEFINITELY say stuff they don't mean, so don't take it personally. Anyway, it sounds like she was more into the exciting new house aspect than the fact it would be with him smile

Bettydownthehall Mon 16-May-16 19:41:33

My 6yr old informed me she was on the market for a new mum, one that gave her more crisps.

She also told me at soft play that she had found a new mum and showed me a big purple plastic octopus.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 16-May-16 19:50:13

When DS1 was 3 he wandered off and joined another family's picnic at the park. He announced to everyone that he would be in their family now because they had sausage rolls and carrot sticks.

LobsterQuadrille Mon 16-May-16 20:11:41

I think it is testament to what a great mother you are and how well you are co-parenting that your DD is able to voice comments like this (which you know she doesn't mean) and is so happy.

edwinbear Mon 16-May-16 20:21:19

dd (4) announced when I collected her from a party that she was going to live at x's house until Christmas and she had checked with x's mum and that was fine. Happy days grin

P1nkP0ppy Mon 16-May-16 20:28:16

🍷🍷op, that's 3 year olds for you!
She definitely doesn't mean it any more than my DGS who called a complete stranger in the supermarket Daddy and asked him for an ice cream!

prettywhiteguitar Mon 16-May-16 20:32:35

My Ds constantly goes on about how great his (Disney) dad is, when I asked him why he hadn't talked to him about something that was bothering him recently he said I prefer to talk to you about stuff like that.

Sometimes they talk something up, it doesn't mean anything

You are the constant and that's what's important. But it's hard !

princessbeer Mon 16-May-16 20:37:22

Thanks all of you
Feel better now-sleep deprivation does something to my confidence---- confused

MatildaTheCat Mon 16-May-16 20:38:14

Amateur psychologist might think that your dd has a very secure attachment to her mummy so can say normal hurtful things that a 3year old says. She has an insecure attachment to her daddy which makes her want to please him and seeks his approval hence she wants to live with him and he's the best daddy ever. For today. sad

Keep going on going on. You are doing a great job. You also have your dd living with you so are the lucky one even if it doesn't always feel that way.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Mon 16-May-16 20:40:45

It can be upsetting I often get daddy is great blah blah blah

Ds idolises his dad he has a great relationship with him but I am the one who parents ds, does all the running around, takes care of him etc

But their relationship is different that is why he idolises him it's not as close and he is not always there and he knows that

You will get used to it. When I get I love daddy more, daddy is better I just reply well I love you more than anything and everything and the thing is ds knows this and that is what's most important

As he is older he has said it less and now I make a joke of it

princessbeer Mon 16-May-16 21:17:21

Thanks Enthusiasm
Don't think I dealt with what she said very well coz it really hit a nerve & I was a bit shocked
General consensus is that it's 'toddler
tripe '
Really appreciate you all taking the time to post flowers

RubbleBubble00 Mon 16-May-16 21:21:04

It bloody hurts but they are toddlers and fickle. I was very much rejected for his daddy for about 4 months, now it's swung back around d

MunchCrunch01 Mon 16-May-16 21:21:32

My dd listed the reason she loves nanny is because of her high heels, aged about 4 - take with a large pinch of salt.

Obeliskherder Mon 16-May-16 21:25:56

Of course she has no idea what she is saying. My 9 year old (9!) regularly says stuff like that's the nicest meal I've eaten in my whole life even when it's full of veg she thinks she hates. It's only her way of saying she enjoyed the meal. Your DD is just saying she had a nice day, with a total lack of perspective or understanding of big picture, and that's ok.

LobsterQuadrille Mon 16-May-16 21:34:30

In the absence of a father, my DD used to inform me regularly that she was going to move in with my DM as "she is a better cook than you and she irons everything".

Nanunanu Mon 16-May-16 21:35:32

aged 3 i told my mother that if i had to look at her face one more second then I would just scream.

Aged 3 I would shout "no go home, no go home" whenever my grandparents brought me back into the village after ballet lessons (i was a late talker, and a rather crap dancer)

we say horrible things to our mothers.

at 3 forever and every is until the end of the fairy story. and princesses end up in the big castle with the handsome prince (daddy and his new house). but it is still just a fairsy story to them

oldjacksscrote Mon 16-May-16 21:42:26

My parents were divorced when I was three and I didn't see my dad very often but when I did he would spoil me rotten. I know it hurt my mum when I would come home telling her how amazing he was when in reality he left her with three kids, no money and a mortgage to pay and he paid no maintenance what so ever. It didn't take long before i realised what he was like. Having my own children now makes me realise how hard it was for her.
she doesn't know what she's saying she probably just loves the idea of a new big house more than anything.

princessbeer Mon 16-May-16 21:51:55

Big house/castle
We have a miniature terrace so all that sounds super exciting to her three yr old ears.

Leggytadpole Mon 16-May-16 21:58:06

"she announced she wants to go & live with daddy 'forever & ever' & he's buying a big house for them to live in".

I wonder who put that idea in her head then? It could be that her dad said it to alleviate his guilt.

Seriously don't worry about it, my DS has said things like this (when angry with me because I've said no to sweets or something). It does fill me with dread that he might actually really want to go and live with his dad when he's older but I think as he grows up he will see who was there for him consistently.

flowers and wine for you! It's bloody hard and very tiring being a lone parent. You are obviously a lovely mummy or you wouldn't be fretting over this. Your DD is lucky to have you.

missymayhemsmum Mon 16-May-16 22:05:42

Yup, doesn't it gut you.
Dd does it too. Her flaming unreliable father has a nice day with her once in a blue moon and her adult sister spoils her rotten while I go to work and apparently I am the most boring person in the world and she wishes she didn't have to live with me.
(Mind you, sometimes I feel like the most boring person in the world cos I'm knackered and I wish she didn't have to live with me too...)

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Mon 16-May-16 22:22:38

My 3 year old wants to live in the pub.

She has never been in this pub, but somebody who works there has a pink car. Yes. Pink.

We don't know who. But the pink car is there most days. We have to go and look at it.

Or she wants to live at nursery. As there are hundreds of toys.

Or on the beach. So she can dig the floor.

3 year olds talk a lot of rubbish. ..

peggyundercrackers Mon 16-May-16 22:36:24

Our DD, who is 3, came through tonight and with a thick american accent (we are both Scottish) said "I'm not happy with you guys" - we burst out laughing. No idea where she gets it from. She likes to talk in an English accent too at times for some reason. She is definitely a daddies girl, they are thick as thieves, but our DS is a mummies boy however she did for a while kept saying I don't love you when her daddy said I love you. Again we just laughed it off because at 3 they have no idea what they are saying or why they are saying it.

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