My grandad (mums dad) is very unwell. This last couple of weeks he's taken a turn for the worse and is pretty much in bed most days (he has cancer, and is 85). My nan understandably is finding this hard to deal with, she's the kind of person who doesn't stop and expects everyone to be up, dressed and showered every day no matter what by early morning. My grandad is too weak, due to the nature of his cancer he can barely eat and he wants to stay in bed or just sit in his PJ's all day.
My mum is abroad to help my sister who is heavily pregnant with her third and plans to stay after her c-sec to help (my sister does have a husband btw).
I called my mum explained everything and suggested she may want to consider citing her trip short as grandad is due a scan soon and I expect it to say the cancer has spread. In which case I know that my nan is likely to get very upset and my already depressed grandad is likely to get even more down. I just feel I can't cope with this on my own. I have several young children myself and although a sahm and a few streets away from my grandparents I'm pretty busy as can be expected with a mother. However when I suggested this to her she just said she has an open ticket and if she feels it necessary she will come but I got the sense that she literally just means should he die.
Maybe I'm bu, and I need to act like a grown up but this man is pretty much my dad and I simply don't feel like if things get much worse that I could cope. Since mum has been gone I've had to arrange extra doctors appts to their home, nurse visits, try to persuade them to have home help, and generally be there.
I suppose on one hand I'm scared about the future, and want my mum here to take the lead over HER parents. But she is so blasé about it all, truthfully I think she's just having a blast abroad and doesn't want to deal with her elderly parents as she's not that kind of daughter iyswim.
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to think that my mum should have sounded a bit more willing to come home?
134 replies
Arrowfanatic · 16/05/2016 17:45
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