To think that the women in my office shouldn't just have to accept men using our toilet?

[WanderingNotLost]

I work in an office of 15 men and 9 women. There are two toilets in the office- one for women which also has the shower, and one for men which is also the disabled loo (no disabled people here but may as well mention it).

There are a few chaps who cycle in/go to the gym before work so in the morning they'll go into the ladies to use the shower. Fair enough. But for the rest of the day, some of the men use the ladies loo for no discernible reason at all and it's really disgusting- they don't put the seat down and they don't seem to flush properly, so there is often remnants left behind by whoever was there before still in the loo when you go to use it. It's very unpleasant to be faced with that when you go in- particularly if the reason you're there is to change your tampon (tampons/towels etc are kept in the drawer under the sink). It's got to the point where most of the women now have to go and use the guest loos on the other side of the building. It's been brought up with the office manager a few times, but she just sort of shrugs and said even if she spoke to the guys about it nothing would change- same if we swapped the women's and men's loos around. HR are based in a different office overseas so there's not really any point getting them involved.

I mean is that it? We just have to put up with it?

[BillSykesDog]

Tell them yourself to stop doing it.

[SocialDisaster]

I would contact HR as the situation sounds like a health hazard.

[dillydotty]

I had this in a previous job. There were two cubicles in the men's and two in the ladies. The men's ended up so disgusting every day that some men used mine, they left it in an awful state. The poor cleaner, she took photos of the men's with poo wiped over the walls, loo roll and empty food packets everywhere. Once the toilets blocked over the weekend and people kept pooing in the loosummer until they were almost overflowing!

I just kept complaining until they put a code lock on the door. After a month or so they worked out the code and again i started bumping into men when i was in the ladies, i would have a go at anyone i caught but they realky didnt give a shit. Eventually they put a key lock on the door.

My complaints were laughed at to be honest and I was made to feel like I was just wingeing.

[LifeBeginsNow]

It might sound a bit passive aggressive but can all the women stick together and agree to use the toilet across the building?

When you go, just use it as an opportunity to have a nice long stroll and a bit of a break. If you're all doing it (a couple/ few times a day), it'll soon be pointed out that you're missing.

When it's brought up, you've got your reason and until things change, that's the way it's got to be. Hopefully it'll prompt HR/ office manager into doing something proactive.

[EponasWildDaughter]

I would ask your manager to help set up a quick meeting with everyone all together and ask if they would like the loos swapped found for the reasons you've said here.

ie: It's 99% of the time that the shower is used by men so make it the mens loo and the women take the other one.

[EponasWildDaughter]

It's fucking disgusting though isn't it? When i was in my last year at school i did evening office cleaning and we used to have a rota to do the loos. The reason i left is because i couldn't stomach the filth left in the mens loos. Literally having to creep around the edges to avoid paddling in the piss near the urinals, and when you got to the cubicles - ugh. Shit on the seats, shit on the floor, used paper on the floor. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them?

[MadameOvary]

Mingers. I'd get a lock put on and give all the women a key.
If the men wanted a shower they could fucking well install one in their own loo.
But I'm spiky like that.

[EponasWildDaughter]

Sorry to post again, but this building was the work place for highly intelligent adult men. Mostly 30s to 60s, working on computing and design in engineering. Not the YMCA or something.

[IPityThePontipines]

Shit on the seats, shit on the floor, used paper on the floor. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them?

Things like this worry me. It's purposely disgusting behaviour and I think it should be taken more seriously.

[WanderingNotLost]

HR are in New York so beyond sending an email round, they can't do anything. We can't structurally change the building in any way so we're stuck with the one shower. The guest loo is literally just cubicles and sinks so if you want to change your tampon/brush your teeth etc you'd have to carry it through the office, whereas our loo has drawers with that stuff in. We did suggest the swap to our OM but she said even then the guys would probably just keep using both.

[FantasticMax]

Are you absolutely sure it's men using the toilet (as in, have you seen them come and go?). It's just we have separate men and women toilets at my work and the women's toilets are sometimes left as you describe - women can be just as minging as men!

[LadyAntonella]

Ugh I don't really know what to advise OP except to be really quite assertive about it. If the Office Manager isn't doing anything, speak to his/her line manager. I know that sounds aggressive but it really sounds appalling.

We used to have what I called 'poo tourists' at work. I saw loads of men (not being sexist - I only ever saw men doing it) from other floors would randomly appear to have a poo and then fuck off back to their own floor. I wouldn't have minded, but they had no reason to be on our floor and they stank out our corridor, which is probably why they didn't just poo in their own loos. They looked so shifty when I waved at them from the front desk.

[Rab19]

Can you suggest changing the loos over then, but in doing so, placing a lock on the ladies to stop it being used by the men?

If their biggest 'thing' is that they use the shower, let them have the shower loo, but insist that they're not allowed in the ladies - they can't have it all ways & the OM should be prepared to woman up & state the new procedures!!!

[MrSnow]

In my line of work I can tell you without a single doubt that women are every single bit as bad as men when it comes to looking after the cleanliness of their toilets.

Some of the things I've seen!

One of the worst was a woman who would, for no apparent reason, poo into toilet paper, neatly wrap the poo up and then post the post into the sani bin. This went on for months.

I work in building management, btw.

[Babycham1979]

OP, how do you know it's the men who are shitting the cubicles up?

Having had a job as a cleaner at a large department store chain during university, I can confidently say that the ladies' loo was always in a far, far more disgusting condition than the gents' (blood, shit, piss etc).

[WanderingNotLost]

Well it's a common gripe among the ladies how gross the men leave it. And they leave the seat up which is a bit of a giveaway!

[ghostyslovesheep]

yes I agree - women can be awful - our women's toilet can be shocking

You seem to have 1 disabled toilet and 1 communal shower/toilet - rather than men and women's toilets anyway

[SocialDisaster]

The working conditions are a health hazard, is there a union rep if you won't contact HR?

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Women can be just as disgusting, believe me.

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

What happens if a disabled perosn needs to use the shower to clean up?

normally the disabled toilet and the shower are together.

[Nanny0gg]

At my last school we had unisex toilets, one of which had a shower in it. There were 5 separate cubicles each with its own sink.

That was far better than where we had one toilet for 40+ women and one for the two men.

It's the filthy habits that are the issue.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

What sort of state is the disabled loo left in?

There was a thread on here recently about something similar. The women got together and had a "dirty" protest using "used" Sanpro until the men reverted to their nominated facility.

You need more frequent cleaning to be honest if they are not going to do anything about it. More cost usually focuses the mind!

[Liska]

In my previous job, we once had a woman drop a used tampon in the paper bin. You could trace it's path from loo to bin by the trail of blood. I agree with TreadSoftly that this may be the way to remind the men that this is the womens' loo. If you can stomach it.

If they are more delicate than that, then perhaps leaving the (new) sanitary products out of the drawer and on a shelf in full view. That may shift them.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

I would start by asking for the facilities to be swapped over though, the disabled loo just needs some sort of storage? in my experience though, they seem to be a hang out for men having their daily 40 mins constitutional poo

[ChicRock]

Can you see the toilets or the corridor to the toilets from where you're sitting?

If you're sure it's the men, then I'd spend a day or two stalking checking the toilet after they've been, and if it's left in a state Id have no problem approaching them and telling them to go sort their shit out.

BUT, it wouldn't surprise me at all if it turns out to be some women leaving it in that state.