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It's me, crunchy, attachment, church donut mum. Fancy an update?

(163 Posts)
ASAS Sun 15-May-16 20:01:55

Thought in thanks for everyone's time on my thread I'd give a quick update.

Apparently there's a crew of ladies in my church who tell me I've to show respect/shhhhh people/tell people not to sit near them and basically just make everyone feel unwelcome.

Unsure what the solution is but hopefully we can all find one.

Anyway, thanks again for every response on my initial thread.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 15-May-16 20:06:12

I didn't see your original thread, but I'm confused. How is telling people they can't sit with someone and making them feel unwelcome in any way respectful. I feel like I'm reading the book version of mean girls.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 15-May-16 20:07:48

The good I pray to would not approve of exclusive behaviour. Who are they to say. Who is and isn't welcome in Gods home.
I'm actually fuming.

MardleBum Sun 15-May-16 20:08:12

I am not sure how this is an update. Haven't you just outlined the basics of what we already knew from the first thread? confused

bilule Sun 15-May-16 20:08:24


hobnobsaremyfave Sun 15-May-16 20:08:58

Were you just after a but more attention?

ASAS Sun 15-May-16 20:10:31

Ha ha my original thread was also confusing. Sorry. It's these ladies who say all those things. Very mean girls, made me feel rubbish.

Salmotrutta Sun 15-May-16 20:11:44

As updates go it's somewhat lacking...

(read original thread but didn't post)

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 15-May-16 20:11:45


Can we please ban the use of CRUNCHY?! What a fucking ridiculous description.

That's all I've got.

AdrenalineFudge Sun 15-May-16 20:12:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Sun 15-May-16 20:14:43

Hello op. I remember your thread - I thought (and still think) that you handled a number of posters' nastiness with really likeable grace.

Bit confused by this one. This clique are telling everyone to shh? Or are telling everyone that you're a bad'un? Either way, I'm really not usually one to want to run and tell the teacher but I do think it might be useful if the clergy could offer a bit of firm direction here. (I would expect that to happen unasked in my church - but I suspect my church is rather more authoritarian than yours...)

Arfarfanarf Sun 15-May-16 20:14:55

What does crunchy mean in this context and what are the new developments in the situation that comprise this update? I hope you told them off.

ASAS Sun 15-May-16 20:15:02

Lighthouse I agree! I think it's a bit of a clash but hopefully we can all rejoice in having children in our church.

Mardle I suppose the update is it turns out they do it to everyone, therefore I'm just here for the attention of not being a horror after all hobnob.

MardleBum Sun 15-May-16 20:15:06

It's these ladies who say all those things. Very mean girls, made me feel rubbish.

Yes, we know. So what's the update? confused

MardleBum Sun 15-May-16 20:15:25

sorry crossed posts!

TheWindInThePillows Sun 15-May-16 20:15:25

Why don't you work with the vicar/priest on this? Presumably you are a valuable member running the playgroup/sunday school, and presumably he or she wants to be welcoming and get more people in- so I would hand over responsibility to them to set the welcoming tone.

TheWindInThePillows Sun 15-May-16 20:16:33

I think the new news is that this wasn't about the one incident the OP detailed last time, but that lots of people are being made to feel unwelcome and it's not just about her and her crunchy parenting.

NoCapes Sun 15-May-16 20:18:42

What the hell is crunchy parenting?! hmm

Sighing Sun 15-May-16 20:19:52

I'd love to arrange for the members of the congregation of the church I used to attend to visit that church. It is CofE. They're more about doing than talking. It is very relaxed about children in particular (once there was a toddler napping on the communion cushions through the whole service sort of relaxed. Children are also catered for during the family service and there's a more formal structured service so as to meet everyone's needs (with an overlapping coffee and cake between the two). It works and is thriving, probably because everyone is made to feel welcome and listened to (even my athiest usher was thrilled with his conversation on same sex marriage and dr who with the vicar and organist).
People who aren't welcoming suck in any context.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot Sun 15-May-16 20:20:32

Original thread:

In which there was no comment on the other congregants, more if a description of how OP had left the child-centric area to sit in the pews. No problem.

Then had moved to another pew seat so her toddler could play with another toddler, right in the middle of worshippers. This in a church with child-friendly areas.

It was repeatedly pointed out to OP that there was space for everyone, if they showed mutual respect, and that included her respecting those who wanted quieter worship (not as if this church was unwelcoming of DC or lacking in facilities for them).

This thread does not seem to reflect everything she said last time, and indeed strikes me as a remarkably self-serving new version.

ASAS Sun 15-May-16 20:20:45

Nell, pastoral care will try and bring us all to a solution. I feel it's resolved as far as I'm concerned because it seems it wasn't personal to me but it's something a whole group seem to do to all the mums.

So that's the update I'm afraid folks. Sorry it seems to be below par. But I was genuinely thankful for everyone's time when I posted.

Crunch crunch. (Joke).

Babymamamama Sun 15-May-16 20:21:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IonaNE Sun 15-May-16 20:22:41

we can all rejoice in having children in our church
Confused at this. There are children at my church. They are quiet, having been educated by their parents to the effect that in the church you talk to God in your heart (and, incidentally, allow others to do the same by keeping the silence) - before and after church outside and in the church hall you talk to other people.

they do it to everyone
There must be a lot of people who treat your church as a "social"...

EverySongbirdSays Sun 15-May-16 20:26:52


As it's an update..... Not that I can see an update

Why didn't you just add a new post to your old thread instead of a brand new thread with an OP that just repeats your initial issue?

It's a bit..... desperate

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Sun 15-May-16 20:31:21

Can't you ask the vicar to have a word with this church mob? Give a pointed sermon on treating your neighbour as you want to be treated?

TBH, if you can remain unaffected by a lively AIBU thread, I'm sure you can handle a few old dears at church. smile

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