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name stealer ?

(124 Posts)
rubybleu2 Sun 15-May-16 19:29:32

Way back when I was in secondary school, of a year group of around 125, there were at least 6 Sarahs , 8 Emmas countless Claires, and an army of Amys. My own name was also a very popular one, there were 7 of us I think.....when I had my own DDs I was keen to avoid this, so after research on the office for national satistics website I chose a couple of old family names, that were ranked something like 225 & 210 most popular names of the previous years they were give you an idea of how sparsely used they are nowadays, I shall call them Shelia & Barbara ( these are examples only) the problem is this..... a fellow mum from our toddler group is pregnant with twins (identical), and has said if she has girls, she is going to call them the exact same names as my two....we live in a very small village, and her twins will be in the same year group as my youngest, now I realise I don't own the names, and ultimately there's not a lot I can do about it.....but AIBU to feel a bit pissed off, I even told her I thought it would be a bit weird, and why I chose my names, but my concerns didn't seem to register, we also have very similar sounding surnames, and ours is often mispronounced to the exact same as hers

Nannawifeofbaldr Sun 15-May-16 19:34:00

You don't own the names.
You don't have a right to object to this.

But it's a weird thing to do if you all live in a small village.

Everyone else will think she's weird too.

Just bear in mind that your girls are unlikely to be living their whole lives in the village so it's only going to be annoying for the next decade or so... grin

treaclesoda Sun 15-May-16 19:34:41

Sorry, I think you're being unreasonable. She can call her children anything she wants to, and if she has the same taste in names as you do it's really not fair to expect her not to use them.

It would be different if it was your sister or SIL so the names would be repeated within your family. But it's just someone else who happens to live near you.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 15-May-16 19:44:02

She's calling her two girls the same as your's shock and is aware you picked unique names ?.

Of course you don't own a name but it is very stupid that she's lacking imagination considering you live in close proximity .

Daft woman.

rubybleu2 Sun 15-May-16 19:49:21

sorry I forgot to put this, she wants to use both of my first and both of my middle names in the same order, even down to same spelling ( I altered it slightly from the usual), so if she has girls they will both have the same two first names, and just one letter difference in their surnames, and most people pronounce my surname the same as hers, most average year groups in our school are around 10- 15 pupils, all the other members of the toddler group think its a bit stalker ish ?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 15-May-16 19:49:40


It's really weird.

So is it like my dd1 and dd2 are called Mavis and Christina.

I am living in the same village with my friend and she calls her twin baby DDs Mavis and Christina?

Very very weird.

rubybleu2 Sun 15-May-16 19:52:01

oh, and when I was pregnant she said she couldn't wait to hear what I was calling my second child, to give her some ideas.... I really hope she has boys

flumpybear Sun 15-May-16 19:52:20

It would help knowing the names ....

WorraLiberty Sun 15-May-16 19:52:39

now I realise I don't own the names, and ultimately there's not a lot I can do about it

So why the silly thread title? confused

ExpandingRoundTheMiddle Sun 15-May-16 19:53:56

It's odder than odd. Daft besom.

treaclesoda Sun 15-May-16 19:54:37

OK, when you put it like that it does sound very strange. Not much you can do about it though and since your children are older it will be clear that yours had the names first.

LizzieMacQueen Sun 15-May-16 19:54:55

Are you sure she is not just pulling your well do you know her?

RaeSkywalker Sun 15-May-16 19:55:16

It is odd, but you've told her it's odd... There's not much you can do.

Is she a close friend? Because of not, one of you could move away anyway. Then it won't matter.

ollieplimsoles Sun 15-May-16 19:56:26

This is weird as hell.

Why would she want exactly the same names as your children?
Does she realise other your small.village will think she is crazy?

AnnaT45 Sun 15-May-16 19:57:31

I thought it was odd based on your first post. Now I think she is really odd! Maybe make a joke of it with her? How pregnant is she? She may change her mind!

rubybleu2 Sun 15-May-16 19:58:33

yes it is very like those sort of old names, not completely made up modern type names, so they are not completely unheard of....but last time I checked there were only around 5 girls born each year named the same...and the village we live in only has around 50 houses , so everybody really does know each other

rubybleu2 Sun 15-May-16 20:00:38

I don't think I'm allow to reveal personal details am I ?, but I would say shelia and Barbara are good examples of how little they are used today

Hamiltoes Sun 15-May-16 20:00:57

Very odd. Using the first names.. Annoying but what can you do.. Using both first and middle names shock I would have to say something. Something really childish and snidey. I don't think I'd be able to help myself!

Hamiltoes Sun 15-May-16 20:02:04

Oh and guessing the second names are something like "Millar" and "Millier"

Strange! Maybe shes just on the wind up?

AgathaMystery Sun 15-May-16 20:02:35

So for example you have

Caitlin Smyth & Jayne Smyth

& she has Kaitlin Smith & Jane Smith? hmm
It really is a bit weird.

boscros1 Sun 15-May-16 20:02:46

That's very strange indeed, I'd be the same as you.

I had picked a boy years before I had one. A local girl had a boy 3 years before me and picked the same name. It's really unusual and I didn't want to use it as they'd be at the same school, but I literally couldn't find anything else we liked and we had to register the birth. So I used it, but I assumed she was probably a bit pissed off.

ExpandingRoundTheMiddle Sun 15-May-16 20:04:35

Could you just gently tell her that it will seem very odd? You can always reserve the nuclear option for later (But everyone will know your kids have a mother who's unhinged and a little bit creepy grin Will no one think of the children ?!)

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 15-May-16 20:04:42

She must be lacking in imagination.,

Suggest some names that you thoight you may have named your DDs - pretend if necessary - and maybe she'll start liking those.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 15-May-16 20:06:04

She's being a complete weirdo to the point I think she must be winding you up. Because nobody is this odd, are they?

You can reveal the names if you want to there are no rules against this.

Flackgirl Sun 15-May-16 20:06:58

YANBU. This is totally weird but, luckily, her kids are younger and so it will be obvious that she is the one who has copied you. TBH quite embarrassing for her, and I am surprised no-one is her family has pointed this out to her. So, really, it is her problem not yours!

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