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Reception Child alone at Party

(426 Posts)
PricklyLegs Sun 15-May-16 17:51:36

Eldest went to the birthday party of a girl in her class yesterday. It was at a playgym which was open to the public - the kids all played then had something to eat. It lasted 2 hours. There were about 12 of them at the party and maybe 50 other kids there with their parents/whoever.

One of the girls in her class was dropped off by her mum and then picked up at the end.

Is this normal for a 4 year old at a playgym party? AIBU to judge said mother for putting the responsibility of watching the 4 yr old on a mother she's only seen at the schoolgates? Anyone could have been there. Anything could have happened.

treaclesoda Sun 15-May-16 17:53:15

It's normal where I live. When my DC were in P1, so same age as reception, it would have been considered very weird for a parent to stay.

Only1scoop Sun 15-May-16 17:53:47

She may have spoken to the mother re her looking out for her DC?

VimFuego101 Sun 15-May-16 17:54:29

I wouldn't have an issue doing this at a soft play type place if my child was OK with it and comfortable being left on their own for the party. For all you know one of the parents who stayed may know her well and would have been happy to take responsibility for her.

Mov1ngOn Sun 15-May-16 17:55:09

Would be very unusual here and I wouldn't do it. Starting to drop in year 1 so 6ish and about half and half in year 2 so 7ish.

CaptainCrunch Sun 15-May-16 17:55:52

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mov1ngOn Sun 15-May-16 17:55:59

You'd only do it with a 4 year old here if another familiar parent was looking out for them.

PricklyLegs Sun 15-May-16 17:56:34

I wasn't sure if I was being a bit precious / over protective. I probably am, not been in this situation before as this is our first school friend party. Just worried me a little as I didn't see anyone talking to the little girl to check on her when they were eating etc and all the other kids' parents were there.

Mov1ngOn Sun 15-May-16 17:56:55

It's not normal to leave a 4 year old at any party I've been to! (lots. 2 x kids) It must vary from area to area.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready Sun 15-May-16 17:57:46

I think it's normal. When you arrange a party you are agreeing to take on some responsibility for other children.

Mov1ngOn Sun 15-May-16 17:57:51

Might want someone going to the loo with them and parents often pass the food at the party or check they've got something to eat etc!

PricklyLegs Sun 15-May-16 17:58:16

Captain Crunch, it's not hysterical nonsense at all. It's a very large playgym and she is a small 4 year old.

FlyingElbows Sun 15-May-16 17:58:40

I have never stayed at a party with any of my children. Perhaps if people loosened the reins a bit we'd get fewer "omg I've got to pay to go to a kids party" threads.

Ragwort Sun 15-May-16 17:58:57

I would assume perfectly normal - I think if parents are expected to stay with their children at a party it should be made clear on the invitation. I never forgot the time I left my DS aged 4 at party (at the host's home so not a soft play type place) and just breezed off - it hadn't dawned on me that I was meant to stay grin - a few of the parents mothers gave me odd looks.

Whenever I hosted parties for my DC it was an absolute pain if parents stayed as well.

PricklyLegs Sun 15-May-16 17:59:18

Sorry if drip feeding but mother of party girl said she hadn't asked her to watch her.

leccybill Sun 15-May-16 17:59:32

I wouldn't, and I don't recall anyone being dropped off last year when DD was in reception (unless by prior arrangement with another parent). And she went to 22 parties last year, nightmare.
Even now in Year 1, I wouldn't. Not in a place where it is open to the public.

BeckyMcDonald Sun 15-May-16 18:00:04

In parties at the very beginning of reception all the mums stayed. My son's was in November (so, 2.5 months into the year) and because of restrictions in the venue, parents couldn't stay, so they didn't. A few were a bit nervous but the kids were fine. None of the parents stay at any parties now. It would be unusual for them to do so. In fat, I left my 3.5 year old at a party with his brother a few weeks ago. They were both fine.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 15-May-16 18:00:05

It's normal here from school age so 4+ if you want parents to stay at parties because you are not happy to be in charge of the children you have to write it on the invites

CaptainCrunch Sun 15-May-16 18:00:27

It is hysterical nonsense. She wasn't "alone" either, there were plenty adults there.

titchy Sun 15-May-16 18:00:40

If she was 6 she'd still be a small girl in a large place.....

Normal here (or was 10 years ago when mine were that age) for reception kids to be left, SN excepted.

treaclesoda Sun 15-May-16 18:01:10

I wouldn't really have minded staying at that age if parents had wanted me to, it's not that I was itching to get away and leave them with someone else. But it just wasn't the done thing, it was accepted that once they reached school age, you dropped them off and left them to it, so that's what I did. Having said that, we never had an invitation to a party where the parents were complete strangers, so that probably made a difference. I probably just wouldn't have let them go if it was a complete stranger and I was expected to leave them.

EDisFunny Sun 15-May-16 18:01:22

It's not normal where I live either, parents always stay with their children.

Eastpoint Sun 15-May-16 18:02:31

We live in London and everyone always dropped off their reception age children. They are used to being with their school friends without their parents by this stage of the school year. This included soft play parties, but luckily there weren't many of those.

CassandraAusten Sun 15-May-16 18:05:16

I'd say this is normal for a reception age child. It's also normal to stay - parents do both.

leccybill Sun 15-May-16 18:05:50

I don't think it is hysterical nonsense.
Where I live, it is normal to stay with your child until age 6 ish.
My own DD has a few toileting issues till so I would never leave her at this age, or leave another parent in charge of that.

Where we live is a bit rough, I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

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