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Why are police so useless and dont try prevent things

(260 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Kitty3E Sun 15-May-16 03:55:09

I'm having an issue with upstairs, im on my phone typing this so excuse mistakes.
Phoned police after last straw of upstairs who kicked my door three times as he left to go out.
He purposely stamps on the floor, walks arlund in boots 24/7 on laminate and makes noise whilst he knows im in a particular room. I understand perfectly these things arent a police matter

I called police for him kicking my door three times earlier and just as he came in at 2am

I called police at around 7pm, they just turned up at 3.40am woke me up to say they dont think its harassment
I said my partner who doesnt live with me is loosing his cool and they said to ask my partner to have a word with him hmm
I said my partner will prob beat him up due to it beig clear he is a coward who is only picking on me cause im a young lone female with a baby.
They said its the cluncil duty of care but said they will notify intelligence due to him smoking weed n dealing

I honestly feel like its going to kick off very soon
Im trying to prevent this but it is very hard this man is trying to upset me and nobody will help me

What should i do

Kitty3E Sun 15-May-16 03:59:01

Sorry just to add is this not harrassment?
They said someone communcating you by phone or leaving abusive notes is harrassment not purposely kicking (or could be banging) my door then running away

DrE678 Sun 15-May-16 04:11:27

Kicking or banging your door is not a police matter. If you knew that why call them out? If it escalates it may become a police matter particularly if your partner does 'beat him up'. I know it's frustrating when you feel a neighbour is doing these things on purpose but you need to speak to your landlord (if you rent) or the council. Keep a log of every event and if he continues you might be able to pursue it as antisocial behaviour.

araiba Sun 15-May-16 04:57:49

unfortunately, being a jerk isnt a criminal offence.

maybe the police cant prevent crimes because they spend too much time being called out to non crimes?

Baconyum Sun 15-May-16 05:04:58


1 it's not generally in the police remit to prevent but to investigate and prosecute.

2 there's a lot worse out there they have their hands full dealing with

3 harassment requires a lot more proof of it happening over a long period of time

4 this sounds mainly like a neighbour/noise issue which is a civil matter and therefore not in their jurisdiction (excepting certain legally defined extreme cases).

MardleBum Sun 15-May-16 05:31:43

Are you the same young female living alone with a baby that has posted several times before, right back from when you were first pregnant about this? It used to be the old man downstairs that kept bothering you, then it was someone in a car outside, then someone was racist towards you, now it's the man upstairs kicking your door?

Is that you?

MattDillonsPants Sun 15-May-16 05:34:09

I have to disagree that kicking her door on purpose is "not harassment" which is defined as "causing alarm or distress"

So OP, definitely inform the council but also, call the police again if he so much as looks at you in a threatening manner. Keep a diary, do not be brushed off.

yorkshapudding Sun 15-May-16 05:36:25

Have you posted about this before? This is all sounding very familiar.

As others have said, kicking your door is very unpleasant of him but it is not a criminal offence. Also, if you call the Police at 2am I don't think you really have a right to complain about them coming round a short time later and waking you up hmm

You seem to implying that if your partner loses his rag and assaults this man it will be the fault of the Police for not stepping in to "prevent" it. What exactly do you want them to do though? They can't arrest your neighbour for things that, by your own admission, are not actually illegal just in case someone gets pissed off and hits him. They can't arrest your partner in case he gets pissed off and hits someone. If your partner beats up your neighbour it won't be because the Police are "useless", it will because he has made a choice to do so.

You need to take this up with your landlord/the council.

Princesspeach1980 Sun 15-May-16 05:41:38

When you consider the brutal budget cuts that the police have faced over the last few years, it's hardly surprising that they can't get involved in every dispute and fall out between neighbours. They barely even have enough officers to get out to serious crimes and emergencies, especially on a Saturday night.

Costacoffeeplease Sun 15-May-16 06:08:05

You're not trying to prevent this, you're making it worse. The story does sound familiar

MidniteScribbler Sun 15-May-16 06:09:42

You're more worried about the police not coming quickly enough than the fact that you have a partner with such a short fuse that he would physically assault someone?

Woolyheads Sun 15-May-16 06:11:31

If he has kicked the door I would ask to press charges of criminal damage to the door. I was harassed by my neighbour for years and it was difficult to get anything done particularly as he was a police officer himself. I made many complaints, including to the IPCC as well as his commanding officer. Eventually he moved away and I have been happy ever since. Resolve to do what it takes to move as you can't just hope he will. I was a single mum with a baby when I was living there too. Working two or three jobs, plus childcare from 16 weeks old, gave me the independence I needed to own my own home, live where I want to, set an example to my DC and 'have something about myself'. The day you move out you can put your shades on and he can eat your dust.

NoMudNoLotus Sun 15-May-16 06:20:44


My DH saved an 11yr old child with special needs who had run away - he was running down a train track. My DH ran onto the track to save this child as despite trying to stop the train services they couldn't .

He has spent many hours talking to women encouraging them to get into a refuge - he has helped them pack and driven them there to safety.

Hours spent with rape victims, hours with parents whose children have died in accidents.

Slightly more important than somebody kicking your door .

musicposy Sun 15-May-16 06:22:00

If you really do feel harassed, phone 101 for advice (I'm really hoping you didn't use 999 for this) and if they can help they will arrange an appointment to go and chat about it. We did this with our neighbours (who were much worse - made actual repeated threats). That way we didn't waste their time by dragging them out and there was no need to wake us in the small hours.

It can be harassment, but it needs to be ongoing and more than just noisy neighbour issues. Keep a diary of everything that happens. However, I agree with PP that council/ landlord would probably give you more joy. Diary of events would be useful for them too. Then tell your partner you're taking proper steps to sort it. Him beating them up is just going to end with him in trouble - not at all what you need.

PotteringAlong Sun 15-May-16 06:36:42

They do prevent things. But they also have a lot of time wasted by people calling them out for no real reason in the middle of the night.

Makesomethingupyouprick Sun 15-May-16 07:12:44

What do you think they can do or should do?

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards Sun 15-May-16 07:16:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RidersOnTheStorm Sun 15-May-16 07:22:03

Why don't you move in with your partner or have him move in with you?

Problem solved.

Birdsgottafly Sun 15-May-16 07:26:33

""Kicking or banging your door is not a police matter.""

It is, my ex was spoken to by the Police, for this. It can come under "Threatening Behavour".

Campaigns of Harrassment, can destroy the victims MH.

OP, stop threatening people with your Boyfriend, that's a criminal offence.

You need to take certain steps, depending on who your/his LL is and start keeping a diary, at least.

NoMud, crime and the effect on the Victim can't and isn't ignored because "there's worse things happening", as I'm sure your DH would tell you. That attitude is why a lot of 'crimes against Women' were ignored.

MardleBum Sun 15-May-16 07:28:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

insancerre Sun 15-May-16 07:28:34

Seriously, stop wasting the police force's time

Just ignore the neighbour

Also, if your boyfriend assaults someone for something so trivial then he deserves to be arrested and jailed

Why don't you move in with your "partner"? Then he can have more of a partnership role

NarpIsNotACunt Sun 15-May-16 07:31:42

I think you need to find a way through this that involves the Noise Nuisance people at your local council, and escalate to the police if necessary.

I also think you need to talk to your DP about his reactions - I don't think it was particularly wise of you to tell the police that your DP is likely to get aggressive - it paints him (and you) in an unreasonable light.

However much of a git this man is (and he is) you have to take the moral high ground

NarpIsNotACunt Sun 15-May-16 07:33:26

i agree with people who are saying that a man who would turn to violence is not someone I'd want to be my partner

EddieStobbart Sun 15-May-16 07:41:17

If someone kicked my door repeatedly at 2am I'd phone the police even though I live with DH. Not 999 but definitely the non emergency number. I wouldn't want to either DH or I to have to speak to the person who did something like that directly as I consider booting a door to wake someone up an aggressive act. If it was a one-off and they were normally generally reasonable I wouldn't but if it was ongoing I would.

MN is a lot tougher than I am.

DrE678 Sun 15-May-16 07:42:33

Birdsgottafly a lone incident of someone kicking a door and presumably leaving no mark, or it would have been criminal damage, is not harassment. This is not part of a pattern of intimidating behaviour- walking on a wooden floor with boots is annoying but not intimidation or harassment. Presumably your ex did much more than making noise above a room you were in. The police themselves have confirmed his behaviour will not be classed as harassment. I think this OP has posted before, but last time the neighbour was different, and every time the response has been the same.

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